Ten years ago, parents used to worry that their kids would embarrass them in the middle of their Christmas plays. Or kindergarten graduation. Or gymnastics meets. Kids. They’re likely to pick their nose and rub their boogers on the child next to them, or perhaps pull their dress up over their head in the middle […]
The Stages of FaceTune Guilt.
A few weeks ago, I discovered this amazing new app. I actually think Apple tempted me with it. Somehow they suggested it to me – I don’t remember where, but I do clearly remember the wording. “Wondering how all your friend’s selfies are so amazing? This is what they’re using.” I was intrigued, because all […]
The Day I Started Wearing Leggings as Pants.
It’s a tough row to hoe, sharing one’s principles on the internet. Because sometimes you end up changing those principles. And there’s nothing the internet loves more than hypocrisy. For instance, the time that I made fun of Toms, then had to admit that it was all my son would wear – and worse, that […]
The Brush of Death.
I’ve made many humiliating parental admissions on this blog. You guys know that I only bathe my children twice a week. You are aware that I never make their beds. You have been apprised of my issues with Sippy Cups and Mold. So you probably won’t be shocked that I’m not the best teeth-brushing mother, […]
The Cost of Extroversion.
“Hey…did you know The Redmont Hotel is still open? I mean, who knew, right?” I groggily recounted this extraordinarily urgent information to Chris at 6:15am Saturday morning. I had not slept all night, and was entrapped in a heavy delirium that later made it impossible to walk in a straight line. “I mean, I figured […]
A Public Service Announcement, for Parents.
I have been up front and honest with you many times about all of the things I forget to do, put off doing, or downright neglect when it comes to my role as a mother. I’m not the most thorough, organized, on-top-of-it person out there, and my parenting is no exception. It often looks as […]
A Triad of Short Stories.
Thank You: Private Eye. I received a thank you note in the mail last week. It was addressed to “Mrs. Callahan” and was signed “Mrs. [insert last name I’d never heard before here.]” It was a rather generically written thank you card for a wedding gift that I did not remember giving. In fact, I […]
Why I Will Henceforth Dehydrate Myself in Public.
Caution: This story is so humiliating that I didn’t even tell it to my husband for several days. And it took me all of a month to come back and read it and decide whether I’d cringe too much to share it here. (I will, for the record, but alas. I am a blogger. And […]
Drain Shame.
There are things that an iPhone alters about your life from which you will never escape. Traffic light entertainment, for one. I admit it – I struggle with not picking up my iPhone at a red light. Smart phones have effectively made me forget how to simply be still. Also? Curiosity. Every “I wonder…” I […]
A Television Reality Check.
So I’m writing this post while sitting on my couch being filmed by my local news. (You can see that I’m not lying and also how bad my typing comes out when typing on a tiny iPad keyboard if you pay real close attention towards the end of this video…) So yes, this was the […]