I’m a Continuity Tyrant. Let’s say that I happen to be watching a movie. I’m totally enraptured in the plot, the drama, the angst. Two characters – a man and a woman – are having an intense dialogue – you know, the type that explains the whole movie and makes everything come together in an […]
Chick Cars: The Report.
Last week, I conducted a survey on the crucial subject of Chick Cars. Between blog comments, Facebook, Twitter, and in-person interviews, I collected vast amounts of data on this subject. In sorting out this influx of information, I determined to do more than simply look at the numbers. Because I have a heart for the […]
Ten Tips for Vacation Rental Owners.
1. Do not decorate your rental condo with fake fruit. Because if you do, your renter’s kids will do this. All day, Every day. And their parents might or might not remember to run them through the dishwasher before they leave. (The fruit, that is.) 2. Even if you typically have short-term renters, do not […]
How It Feels to be Hated By a Celebrity.
Wednesday night on Twitter, I broke my silence about this deeply painful issue when I told my friend Trina all about my shame and sorrow. So I decided that since it was already out there, I might as well admit it here. I’ve been blocked on Twitter by Travel Channel star Adam Richman. Meaning that […]
One Day I’ll Have to Explain Myself.
The Date: June 22, 2023. Ali, sixteen years old and going through quite the sensitive stage, sits down with a huff. She reaches into mid-air, and with a flick of her index finger, turns off her Projected-In-Mid-Air Computer (PIMAC), and then glares at me. I look up from my automated knitting needles with a questioning […]
Happy Mother’s Day, from Time Magazine.
You might have seen it by now. You might have even seen it before it came out, like I did. Time Magazine, in an apparent celebration of Mother’s Day, published the following issue on Friday: “Are You Mom Enough?” The title immediately infuriated me. The challenging, smug look on her face, the nannie-nannie boo-boo (no […]
Zulily: The Burning Questions.
I do love me some Zulily. Half of Ali’s summer wardrobe, including her Easter dress, arrived via Zulily. Every morning, I fit it into my routine to peek around at the day’s sales before my miniature tenants wake up. Besides the benefit of getting to shop the best deals for both me and the kids, […]
Aflac, For Mommies.
Dear Aflac, Hi! Let me introduce myself. I am an accountant with a specialty in Human Resources. Over the past decade, other than being a stay-at-home Mom, I have managed employee benefits for small companies, including supplemental insurance policies such as those you offer. Although I appreciate your catchy duck-based marketing strategies, I’ve personally never […]
Text Marriaging.
If I were the Al Gore type, I would definitely proclaim that Chris and I discovered text messaging. Because I kinda feel like we did. It all started in 1999. We were dating, I had just started college, and Chris was in college and working full-time. We didn’t have a lot of extra time for […]
A Public Smock Announcement.
(With many thanks to DirecTV, for their magnificent and inspirational commercials, and my Mother, who allowed me to borrow a few choice articles of clothing.) If you dress your son in smock for Easter, He may feel dejected, embarrassed, and angry. If he feels dejected, embarrassed and angry, he will get in a fight on […]