My kids are four years apart. That makes me fairly strange in my demographic, but I’m cool with it. (I actually love it and think it is THE WAY TO GO, but don’t tell my friends I said that.) I get to experience two completely different realms at once…especially in cognitive development. Ali’s current mental […]
Signs of Love.
Disclaimer: This post is much gooier than usual. In fact, it has a gooiness quotient of 7.65 on a scale of ten where zero is any song from Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill and ten is Butterfly Kisses. You have been warned. My friends all told me how unbelievably loving little boys are. Although it […]
The Continuum of Little Brother Endurance.
Being the little brother comes with its risks. If you are the little brother to another brother, you will need to prepare to be used for tackling practice, karate practice, as a human first base, and to be the person continuously pummeled at every Nintendo game ever made. (I was a little sister to a […]
The Stench of Boys.
He stinks. His lovely new baby smell lasted for exactly four months. And for the past month, he’s stank approximately 70% of the time. He somehow marinates in his own sweat every time he sleeps, and he wakes up smelling like an entire load mildewed laundry. And the smell doesn’t fade while he’s awake, either […]
Parenting 101: Little Ears have Big Memories.
With an innocent, offhanded little voice, she asked… “Hey, Daddy?” “Yes Baby?” “Why does Mommy say that it’s not nice for Noah to stare at women’s chests?” Chris falls on the floor and dies. Later that night, after his miraculous recovery,he remembers the cursed conversation with his daughter (although he blocked out his stuttered response […]
On Choosing a Lovey.
It’s a baby’s first accessorizing decision. Will they choose a blanket? A paci? A stuffed animal? Noah has spent countless sleepless fits contemplating his all-important Lovey decision, and he has come to a resoundingly stubborn conclusion: My hair. At first, I assumed he chose my hair because he’s ridiculously and obsessively a bit attached to […]
On How to Diaper a Newborn.
Fact of the Day: Newborn Diapering is a completely different pooventure than diapering an older baby. And, although many pre-baby people have changed a diaper at some point in their life, chances are, they haven’t had the privilege of changing a NEWBORN’S diaper. Or, maybe you’re post-baby, but you’ve just forgotten some of the intricacies […]
The Difference Between Boys and Girls.
Really, it should have a slogan. “Circumcision: Making newborn boys hate diaper changes since Genesis 17.” It was the part of having a boy that I least looked forward to. As if new babies aren’t shocked enough by their entrance into the outside world, let’s REALLY give them something to be shocked about! Now granted, […]
Noah’s Arrival
Spoiler: This post is a Long Birth Story interspersed and ending with Unbelievably Cute Baby Pictures to help detract from the traumasticity of the contents herein – at least for my sake. As I’m finally on a low enough dose of pain meds that I can type without the screen doing funky swirly things (and […]