It’s a baby’s first accessorizing decision.

Will they choose a blanket?

A paci?

A stuffed animal?

Noah has spent countless sleepless fits contemplating his all-important Lovey decision, and he has come to a resoundingly stubborn conclusion:

My hair.

At first, I assumed he chose my hair because he’s ridiculously and obsessively a bit attached to his Mommy right now.

But then I started to wonder if he was just borrowing it to overcompensate for his awkwardly missing eyebrows


But whatever his reasoning, his choice shouldn’t surprise me, considering his Paternal Genetic Destiny.  Chris is, through and through, a “Hair Guy”.

(Hence my hippy-length hair.  It’s kinda like my Samson-super-power over him.)

In fact, when playing The Newlywed Game a couple of years ago, Chris was the ONLY guy to not give the obvious answer to the famous “What’s your favorite feature on your wife?” question.

Yup – Chris went with hair.

AND I even knew that he would.

We totally scored a point that round.

My hairdresser even knows this about my husband, and she refuses to trim my hair more than a couple of inches.  When I try to get her to chop it more, knowing that Chris will certainly appreciate healthy hair over lengthy hair, she stops, looks at me with fear in her eyes, and resolutely sets down her scissors.

Noah has learned to evoke the same fear in us over his intense need for my hair.

He has had several instances over the past week where he screamed for at least 20 minutes, despite massive efforts to placate him, until he found my hair, grabbed it, and within a tenth of a second, was snoring happily.

Also? He loves twisting it in between, in and out, all around all of his fingers.  And paci.  And then retwisting it, all while tugging it mercilessly.

I seriously need a deep conditioning treatment.

And so, I’m faced with a crisis: do I continue to let him start all of his naps and bedtimes out by cuddling with my hair, or do I risk marital discord, get my hair chopped off, and make him a portable lovey out of it?

And THEN the question would be: how would I construct this oh-so-organic HairyLovey?

Would I get Noah’s Godmother, who is quite the brilliant knitter, to knit him a BrunetteBlanket?

Or, perhaps, should I make it into paste-on eyebrows so that he can be Greek like his sister?

Or maybe, should I tie it onto his paci so that it hangs down to give him a cool David Crowder gotee?

(He’s got the chin to pull it off, don’t you think?)

And, if I were to make him a HairyLovey, would I end up mocked featured on Craftastrophe for the fourth time?

At any rate, I know one person that would be cheering for a HairyLovey…


…All while the rest of the world was, quite rightfully, completely disgusted.


26 thoughts on “On Choosing a Lovey.

  1. LOL! You are so funny. But seriously, I have a friend whose son did the same thing with her hair! She had another child last December and had to wean her firstborn off her hair before he was born. I had never heard anything like it before, but apparently it’s more common than I thought.

  2. Oh my gosh, you were featured on Craftastrophe THREE times LOL!!! That’s hilarious! And this bebe is SO sweet, he is SUCH your husband’s son.

    I say, let him hold your hair, don’t chop it. Just so long as he isn’t pulling it to hell and back. And yes, extra conditioning on the ends.

    So sweet. I want to squish his face, I love his cheeks! <3

    1. Yup! For the record, one of the times were my Uncle’s (Toenail Art) creations, and the other two were for purposefully ridiculous creations of mine, so I’m not unknowingly a craftastrophe!! :)

  3. It totally looks like he’s trying to make up for his lack of eyebrow. I had a friend who sat on her son’s bed as he went to sleep at night twirling her hair. This lasted well into his 5th and 6th year. I know this may go against the “man code” but maybe you could get him a doll with hair. Or a Barbie! Lol. I wonder which Chris would prefer. His son owning a Barbie or his wife with short hair! Sorry. The idea is too funny to me because I know how my own Hubby would respond.

    And don’t you just love the Samson-like-power that long hair has over them? Throw in the other “favorite feature” and it’s a double threat!

  4. I went to the link (didn’t even know this existed), and about threw up looking through the um, crafts. Seriously, I feel sick.

    Mark so wants me to have long hair. As a guy, he is overly fond of his other “favorite feature” and the long hair might just be too much for him :)

    James has a soft blue puppy he has cuddled since he was two weeks old. We call it “blue puppy” cause we are so original around here and he still sleep with it. Maybe you could get something soft and rub your hair or at least your shampoo on it. It would smell like you, maybe?

    1. Sorry about that – I probably should have put a warning of “Not all content is appropriate” about Craftastrophe. I hope you weren’t damaged for forever!!!

  5. I stumbled across your blog from a link to your Mom Jeans posts. Then I found the Talking Breast Pump and about died laughing. Thought I would let you know you’ve got another reader.

    My niece loved to pinch my SIL’s neck. I think I’d prefer the hair pulling over that!!

  6. Well holding onto your hair is definitely one I have never ever heard of before. Good luck with that one but honestly when you see that cute face how can you resist him anything.

  7. My daughter used to use my hair to pull herself up :\ I went from waist length hair to short (and very unflattering) boy hair (I was going more for sexy pixie, but what the hey). Have you tried braiding it? Princess Leia buns? I bet Chris would love that!

  8. Lol, that last picture is too cute! My hair has pretty much been in a permanant ponytail since S was born. She loves to pull my hair. Holding I would be okay with but the pulling I’m not such a fan of.

    My husband is also a fan of long hair (although not so much as Chris) :) so I haven’t even considered the option of cutting it but I’m sure he is getting tired of ponytails.

    K also loved my hair…still does in fact. So much so that she will search out hair that has fallen to the ground, wrap it around her thumb and suck it saying, “It’s yummy!”. Grosses us out, but we have yet to get her to give it up.

    P.S. I have never heard of that website but that is funny that you had three mentions! I didn’t browse through it b/c the baby/caterpillar thing was creeping me out! Haha:)

  9. Both of my best friend’s daughter’s held her hair as they went to sleep. I had never seen anything like it before! The oldest has a Little Mermaid doll with really long hair that she still sleeps with. She twists the hair around her fingers while she sucks her thumb. Puts her right to sleep every time. You just never know!

  10. This post is great. I can just see you holding him when he is one or two and trying to get things done with him swinging from your hair. He definitely must be his Daddy’s son. The eyebrow thing has me puzzled.

  11. I’m going to completely gross you out and tell you to be careful about hair tourniquets. HA! If you know me at ALL, you know that I’m not the over-safety conscious mom who looks for blogs on which I can leave concerned comments. But this post made me laugh because it reminded me of my friend Walt’s daughter who had a hair tourniquet on her toe. They didn’t even realize it until the ped pointed it out at a well-visit, but as it turns out, she could have lost her toe!

    So I’m not giving you the link as a cautionary tale, just as something funny because I’d never, ever heard of this until my friend told me about it. And also, I had to make fun of him for not noticing the problem to begin with. ;)

  12. Miss Alex was more inclined to grab my hair and pull than twist it round and round sweetly. I was sick of having it in a ponytail 24-7 so had it lopped off to just below ear length.

    Of course now when she gets a good grip on it I find myself stuck in position a few inches from her face. :P

  13. I was very afraid of hair tourniquets when Elizabeth was littler. My mother-in-law insisted on telling me a very traumatic story about one and a little boy. Which I will spare you but all that to say I hope your replacement works.

    I still have long hair by most standards but I chopped it in half last year and then missed it so much I may never cut it again…

    Also, babies are too cute.

  14. Looking at the pictures made me think that maybe naming him after James gave him some of the personality associated with the name. Keep the GREAT stories coming!

  15. I know this post is a few years old, but I just stumbled across it while looking for a substitute for my own hair loving baby. Daniel is now 13 months old, and he’s used my hair as a “lovey” since birth. He does all the same things you described in your post. Please tell me you found an acceptable alternative!

      1. Oh gosh I’ve got this trouble currently! He will be four in May and I don’t know what to do! What specific blanket did you go with as I’m guessing it had a good deal to do with the texture! Any help is appreciated!!

  16. Hey I have the same issue with my daughter which is soon going to the day care
    She twists the hair around her fingers while she sucks her thumb.
    . she is obsessed with any people’s hair! and she wants to hold someone’s hair any time she wants comforting not just to sleep. I am desperate to find a replacement or a way to make her stop with this crazy idea. Do you have any tips? thank you

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