On Choosing a Lovey.

It’s a baby’s first accessorizing decision.

Will they choose a blanket?

A paci?

A stuffed animal?

Noah has spent countless sleepless fits contemplating his all-important Lovey decision, and he has come to a resoundingly stubborn conclusion:

My hair.

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At first, I assumed he chose my hair because he’s ridiculously and obsessively a bit attached to his Mommy right now.

But then I started to wonder if he was just borrowing it to overcompensate for his awkwardly missing eyebrows

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But whatever his reasoning, his choice shouldn’t surprise me, considering his Paternal Genetic Destiny.  Chris is, through and through, a “Hair Guy”.

(Hence my hippy-length hair.  It’s kinda like my Samson-super-power over him.)

In fact, when playing The Newlywed Game a couple of years ago, Chris was the ONLY guy to not give the obvious answer to the famous “What’s your favorite feature on your wife?” question.

Yup – Chris went with hair.

AND I even knew that he would.

We totally scored a point that round.

My hairdresser even knows this about my husband, and she refuses to trim my hair more than a couple of inches.  When I try to get her to chop it more, knowing that Chris will certainly appreciate healthy hair over lengthy hair, she stops, looks at me with fear in her eyes, and resolutely sets down her scissors.

Noah has learned to evoke the same fear in us over his intense need for my hair.

He has had several instances over the past week where he screamed for at least 20 minutes, despite massive efforts to placate him, until he found my hair, grabbed it, and within a tenth of a second, was snoring happily.

Also? He loves twisting it in between, in and out, all around all of his fingers.  And paci.  And then retwisting it, all while tugging it mercilessly.

I seriously need a deep conditioning treatment.

And so, I’m faced with a crisis: do I continue to let him start all of his naps and bedtimes out by cuddling with my hair, or do I risk marital discord, get my hair chopped off, and make him a portable lovey out of it?

And THEN the question would be: how would I construct this oh-so-organic HairyLovey?

Would I get Noah’s Godmother, who is quite the brilliant knitter, to knit him a BrunetteBlanket?

Or, perhaps, should I make it into paste-on eyebrows so that he can be Greek like his sister?

Or maybe, should I tie it onto his paci so that it hangs down to give him a cool David Crowder gotee?

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(He’s got the chin to pull it off, don’t you think?)

And, if I were to make him a HairyLovey, would I end up mocked featured on Craftastrophe for the fourth time?

At any rate, I know one person that would be cheering for a HairyLovey…

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…All while the rest of the world was, quite rightfully, completely disgusted.

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