“Hey Mommy – Can I have some more apple juice? My cup is empty.” “Sure, honey! Just a minute and I’ll fix it for you.” “Okay! I’m going to go play in the Living Room. You can bring it to me in there.” SCREEEEEEEEECH “OOOOH no you didn’t, girlfriend. Before you were born, I endured […]
How to Act When They Have a Baby.
You know how some people contract an illness of ridiculous speech when you’re pregnant? Regarding that disease, I have grave medical news: that craziness doesn’t always fade after you deliver your baby. In fact, in some cases, it can grow worse throughout your baby’s infanthood. I experienced someone with a most serious case of the […]
Checking Up – Seven Weeks.
Since I have been open in the past with my struggles when Ali was a newborn and about my fears about doing it all over again, I wanted to honestly share my experiences with Noah as well, even if it forces me to be serious for a post every now and then. I hope you […]
You Know You’re a MOM when…
The events depicted are real events that happened to the author in much-too-recent memory – no actors were harmed used in the creation of this post. …You’re hungry enough that you’d rather hold your baby and eat – while smelling dirty diaper – than risk waking them to freshen up their backside. …You notice people […]
On Having a Social Media Baby: A Review.
As I’m sure you noticed, I made a conscious effort to share my entire pregnancy and birthing experience on social media via blogging, Facebook, and Twitter – at times possibly sharing more than some people wanted to know. I know that some of you thought I was crazy to give social media any attention while […]
The Coping Mechanisms of the Extraordinarily Pregnant.
I’m SO done. Well, I’d like to think that I was, except for the fact that my dang belly button won’t pop out in a turkey-timer like fashion, announcing “ding! ding!! You’re done!!!”. Instead, it’s just shrunk to a freakishly-pin-sized hole that looks even freakishly smaller than it already freakishly is, seeing as how it […]
Life In the Not-So-Wild.
So I have a friend that got peed on by a Lion this week. At the zoo. At MY city’s zoo. And my first thought (after asking her if he was a well-hydrated lion or was she left smelling like thick, nasty Lion Pee all day), was “Why couldn’t that have happened to ME??!! It […]
The Sequel: In Production. Release Date: Unknown.
Sometimes it’s refreshing to simply answer questions. Especially when it’s a question you get asked at least a dozen times a week, and you run out of vague ways to not actually answer, which usually answers the question in and of itself. So….yes, we’re trying to get pregnant. Or rather, we’re not not trying. And […]
Dear, Dear, Dear.
Dear Mister-Genius-Who-Created-The-Self-Cleaning-Oven: Do you think that you could apply your oh-so-amazing abilities to create other self-cleaning Appliances? Namely, a self-cleaning refrigerator? You know, where it could sense when food is past it’s prime (the premium models could even tell before it grew any green fuzz), empty it, put it into the dishwasher, and oh – […]
Parking, Dating, and Baking the Deceased.
I’m still recovering from my Blogher Adventures, I must admit. I’m This week has been made up of day of dizzying tiredness, followed by a day of relative normalness where I thought I was recovered, only to be followed by a day of dizzying tiredness. If you can have jetlag from flying within your time […]