You Know You’re a MOM when…

The events depicted are real events that happened to the author in much-too-recent memory – no actors were harmed used in the creation of this post. 

…You’re hungry enough that you’d rather hold your baby and eat – while smelling dirty diaper – than risk waking them to freshen up their backside.

…You notice people looking at your cleavage, then look down and realize that it’s because you have a stream of baby puke running through it.

…You’re so sleep deprived that you put your purse down in the sink of a public restroom – one of those motion sensor sinks – and watch with horror as it fills up with water for at least three full seconds before your brain kicks in enough to rescue it.

…THEN you instinctively dump it’s contents onto the thankfully-cleanish tile floor, and watch in even more horror as your formerly dry iPhone lands in a puddle of water.

…Right after changing one of THOSE newborn diapers, you’re able to go fix yourself a sandwich – and put spicy mustard on it – without thinking twice about the similarities therein.

…You actually find yourself alone in the car, but it takes you 30 minutes to realize that you’re listening to “Silly Songs” on the CD player.

…You can eat leftovers of the meal that you cleaned up in kid-vomit for eight hours straight the night before.

…You don’t REALLY consider your shirt in need of washing until it has endured the complete Trifecta of infant-bodily-fluids.

…Even after one of THOSE days of inconsolable screaming, nap-resisting, puke, and general discontent of one or more children, all it takes is one look into their eyes to know, without a doubt, that every bit of it is not just all worth it, but it’s a privilege.