Fact of the Day: Newborn Diapering is a completely different pooventure than diapering an older baby. And, although many pre-baby people have changed a diaper at some point in their life, chances are, they haven’t had the privilege of changing a NEWBORN’S diaper. Or, maybe you’re post-baby, but you’ve just forgotten some of the intricacies […]
Awkward Starts Early.
All of us have multiple awkward stages in our lives. (At least I think we do – if you’ve been the perfect Barbie-Cheerleader all your life, well, I hate you lucky you.) But the rest of us … have had at least a couple. I certainly had a few myself… Some brought on by my […]
Nancy Drew and the Case of the Mysteriously Disappearing Pacifiers!
Nancy Drew is called in to solve a startlingly shocking crime… The Case of the Mysteriously Disappearing Pacifiers. The Case: A ridiculously stunning number of OVER TEN pacifiers have gone missing, without explanation, in just three weeks!! It’s like taking candy from a baby. Except they’re pacifiers. But that’s basically baby candy. Oh – the […]
Recipe For the World’s Most Bizarre Weekend.
Start with a Three Week Old Baby: Who, despite his preciousness, does not sleep good on Friday night, therefore also adding in one Very-Sleep-Deprived-Three-Weeks-Post-Partum-Mommy. On Saturday morning, stir in a Four Year Old’s Birthday, starting and ending with complete sugar overload: (Sugar Overload shown in recipe provided by Krispy Kreme and my amazingly talented friend […]
The Categories of Scream.
It’s one of the things that comes with parenthood…there’s just no avoiding it. If you’re lucky, you get a few years off in between the Screaming of babyhood and the Screaming of teenagehood, but rest assured, you will endure many moments of Offspring Screaming. But luckily, Newborn Screaming is like pain: you can remember that […]
The Difference Between Boys and Girls.
Really, it should have a slogan. “Circumcision: Making newborn boys hate diaper changes since Genesis 17.” It was the part of having a boy that I least looked forward to. As if new babies aren’t shocked enough by their entrance into the outside world, let’s REALLY give them something to be shocked about! Now granted, […]
He Doesn’t Believe in Silent Nights.
Wanted: Baby mattress with faux-flesh sheets, warms to a constant 98.6 degrees, has a built-in noisemaker that simulates a heartbeat and the occasional tummy gurgle (and maybe a snore or two), and has two built-in, conically shaped pillows that produce life sustaining milk when requested by the occupant. …Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only […]
Noah’s Arrival
Spoiler: This post is a Long Birth Story interspersed and ending with Unbelievably Cute Baby Pictures to help detract from the traumasticity of the contents herein – at least for my sake. As I’m finally on a low enough dose of pain meds that I can type without the screen doing funky swirly things (and […]
Introducing…
Noah James. 12/19/10, 3:43 pm 7 Pounds, 9 Ounces. 21.5 Inches Happy and handsome and I think he likes me a whole lot! The birthing process was quite traumatic and left all my doctors scratching their heads as to what happened and why (I’ll write about it later), but every moment since has been beautiful […]