You asked for it, so I’m here to deliver. I collected and analyzed the data that you so generously provided (via this post and on Facebook) regarding the frequency of the bathing of your children. In particular, I collected, where given: Number of children per family, Number of baths per week, And, since so many […]
Pigpen.
I had to kill a very large spider this morning…out of my children’s bathtub. Then, I had to dismantle his carefully constructed home, saliva-web-piece by saliva-web-piece, before I could start their bath. This COULD be considered a sign that I don’t bathe my children often enough. Or perhaps it’s just a sign that I have […]
Their Superpower.
“Did you know that an average four year old asks 437 questions a day?” I saw this factoid on Pinterest. My immediate response was…surely not. Yes, my kid asks a crazy amount of questions, but four hundred and thirty seven? That seems absurd… astronomical.. ridiculous… impossible. And besides the fact that it is inconceivable to […]
Brought to You By The Letter X, for X-Ray.
It’s only fitting that I begin this post the way my phone call to Chris started out. “Everybody is OKAY. However…” I blame it all on Noah. You see, he chose to wear his X-Ray Jammies Tuesday night. … and I didn’t realize that this was an ominous premonition on his part. Wednesday morning. I […]
Reluctantly Pinspired.
So. Pinterest. At first, I hated it. For me, Pinterest equated to this BIG HUGE GIANT snowball o’ guilt. In the early days of The World Domination of Pinterest, it appeared that it’s most common use was going to be for home decorating – to show all of these amazingly and perfectly coifed rooms with […]
Football, Four and Under.
Football season is in it’s third week and in full obsessive-insanity in the state of Alabama. Tattoo shops are filling up with loyalists wanting to bleed for their team, babies all over the state are being given abusive names such as Crimson, Saban, and Chizik, and billions of dollars are being spent just to watch […]
The Dream Project.
Since I like to bring a sense of balance to my blog, I often find myself teetering precariously between posts about horrible admissions of guilt or embarrassment and exciting eureka moments. So obviously, after the Third Nipple Incident, I owe you something great. Unfortunately, I have nothing great. But a marginally good idea of something […]
Worlds of Nightmares.
“The worlds of imagination and knowledge that it will open up for her are endless!!” Chris said, trying to convince me to teach Ali how to read. “Once you know how to read, you can teach yourself almost anything!” I didn’t want to. She had just turned four, and had rebuffed every effort I’d made […]
Mommy Benefits Package.
United Mommy’s Union (UMU) New Policies and Announcements August 2011 Dear UMU Members, I hope that you have all had a wonderful summer full of perfectly behaved children who spent their days idyllically reveling in their summer vacations, but are now thrilled to be back in school and studying up a frenzy. Right? We realize […]
It’s Like Riding a Bike…
This photograph describes my daughter in a way that words cannot. This is The Essence of Ali. There’s a certain gene of cautiousness that runs deep in Chris and his family, and Ali got every last drop of it. Origami would be a risk in her book, what with the potential for paper cuts and […]