The past year has contained a magnificent breakthrough in Ali’s reading. At the beginning of the school year, Ali despised reading. We would painfully make it through two pages of a super simple book before she and I were both exhausted. We kept at it, and finally made it to the promised land. I now […]
While We Were Out.
Chris and I weren’t the only ones who vacationed for our anniversary. The kids went to my parents, and from the photos my Mom sent me, they relaxed in exactly the same manner that we did. I mean seriously. What the heck?? WHY DON’T MY CHILDREN STAY THAT STILL WHEN THEY’RE WITH ME?? I realize […]
Save Our Souls. And Our House.
MY DAUGHTER IS OUT TO KILL ME. Not the easy way, like, say, giving me poison-laced dark chocolate. I’d eat that. No. She is trying to chip away at my sanity, tiny piece by tiny piece, by casting off her previous overcautiousness and OCD sensibilities and taking on a new persona. The persona of Ali: […]
Southern Genetics.
I’ve had a lot of requests for a Southern Dictionary. Yes, we’re polite. We’re always sweet and nice. We smile at everyone and call strangers sweetie, honey, and sugar pie. But we don’t always mean it. Any of it. I thought everyone knew that the phrase “Bless Your Heart” equated to giving someone the finger, […]
One Thorough Butt Wipe.
It’s never going to end. Ever. Until we tear our house down to the slab and rebuild the whole thing. It all began on November 5, 2012. A fateful day when my ultra-responsible firstborn child flooded her upstairs bathroom (and spent the next week explaining how she followed all the rules and did nothing wrong.) […]
A Day in the Life: A Breakfast Portrait.
Breakfast is an early time of day to make decisions, but yet, so many decisions must be made. Like which car to bring to breakfast. It is best if they can match one’s pajamas. Or for the ladies of the house, which of the crown jewels are most Breakfast-Appropriate. Then there’s the food. Some prefer […]
Short Stories of Motherhood.
I’ve had a few photos and stories pile up lately – not good enough to make a post in and of themselves, but decent enough that I couldn’t trash them. So here they are, all thrown together and cooked into a Blog Casserole. Winner Winner Typhoid Fever. Noah discovered a glitch in the system. Not […]
When Life is a Fairytale.
Once upon a time, a Mother, a Father, a Son, and a Daughter lived in an old house on a suburban hill surrounded by lots and lots of other houses. One day, The Son was scouring the pantry to find something to eat, and he found Magic Pancake Mix. “Make Pancakes!! Make Pancakes, Mommy!” “Are […]
Circus Dreams and Ambitions.
The last time we went to the Circus, Ali had just turned four, and Noah was a very impressive five weeks old. For the last two years, Noah has been bitter about the fact that the only time we ever allowed him to experience such, his eyesight wasn’t developed enough to see the row in […]
How to Make Snow Cream Like a Southerner.
So most of you are from places north of here. Every time I ask you to tell me where you’re all from, the most popular states are Wisconsin, Michigan, Idaho, Utah, Washington, and Oregon. Which means that you get about…167 times more snow than we do. Yet. When we do have snow and I mention […]