God has blessed me with children who appreciate the fine art of sleeping. Ali napped until she was five, Noah’s still napping at four, and they both wake up well after the 7 o’clock hour (and have been known to sleep until 9:30.) As such, it is only right and honorable to homeschool my children. […]
If My Life Were a Children’s Book.
Friday If you want to get a haircut, you ask your Mother-In-Law to come watch the kids. If your Mother-in-Law comes to watch the kids, your youngest is sure to ham it up and play especially sick. If your youngest hams it up and plays especially sick, she will tell you he didn’t get off […]
Superheroes on the Run.
Ali has been running with me since last summer, and she’s shown a surprising amount of proficiency at it, along with enjoying it most of the time (that may be due to the fact that we usually run to the candy store, but no matter. We all run for chocolate, am I right?) A couple […]
Why I Quit Bathing My Kids.
My friends of the Daily Child Bather Variety (which thankfully are rare) cannot understand people like me. They’re still in denial that the facts prove that most people are indeed like me but since I’m open and vocal about my anti-bathing stance, I must take the brunt of their shock. But here’s a little story […]
Diary of a Tired Mom.
Why is the most overused song lyric in the history of the world “All Night Long”? The phrase spans decades and genres, has been in more songs than the words bae, shawty, and boo combined, and IT IS A LIE. You know what happens all night long? Not what they’re talking about. No. Uh Uh. […]
She’s That Kind of Mom.
Sometimes you get lucky, and it’s sunny and 60 degrees on a Saturday in February. It might even look miraculously green outside, as if your dream of stepping into a time machine to take you to Spring actually occurred. You get even luckier when you have the time and the forethought to go on a […]
What Really Happened In Eufaula.
This past weekend, I felt compelled to return to the scene of the crime. My crime. The Place: Lakepoint State Park in Eufaula, Alabama. The time: One year ago. My conviction: Utter selfishness. My sentence: a year of guilt. I never really told my story. How I actually felt that weekend…because it would have been […]
Where Shopping is Not A Pleasure.
Editor’s Note: “Buggy” is the correct way to say “shopping cart”. I know that not all of you agree, but I cannot force myself to type shopping cart twenty-four times. That’s exactly 168 more characters than are needed. A character savings that I just lost with this explanation. 1:40pm: Walk through the parking lot of […]
Babysitters are Bad Salesmen.
Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. You’re not yourself when you’re […]
The Birthday Post.
Today is Ali’s eighth birthday. And, in my ongoing effort to lazify my life, she has to share it with her brother. (On here, anyway.) His birthday is six days before Christmas, and hers is 14 days after Christmas. This unfortunate timing may make me the worst sort of Mom when it comes to actually […]