I’ve noticed that there are two types of 30-somethings. Those that have a regular visit to the Dermatologist to get every millimeter of their skin scanned for abnormalities and are constantly mentioning what they’ve recently had removed, And those that have never visited a Dermatologist. I’ve always been in the second group. Not because I […]
The Perils of Standing Up.
It took weeks of parental foot-putting-down for us to convince Noah to stand up to pee. He liked sitting down just fine and saw no reason to stand, thank you very much. Lazy peeing is good peeing. And finally, when out of sheer obedience he would stand, he would inch closer and closer to the […]
On Parenting The Male Variety.
“That bad smell you’re sniffin’ is my feet.” Because that’s what a little boy tells his sister, who is across the room, when she happens to have the sniffles. He was sitting in my lap, though, so I should know – he wasn’t wrong. His shoes have smelled so dead-rotted-carcass lately that one night I […]
How to Properly Celebrate Two-Turd-Fifteen.
When I originally blogged the above phrase on the first day of April in the blessed(ly almost over) year of Two-Turd-Fifteen, I really had no idea. Sure, we’d been pretty much constantly sick since The Unspeakable Christmas four months prior, but it was nothing compared to what would come. Some would say I asked for […]
Not-Crazy-Renee and the Neighborhood Package Thief.
Not-Crazy-Renee (my neighbor, who I introduced to you Monday) has had an intense holiday season. For one, she’s post-partum. No one should have to be post-partum over the holidays – I should know, as Noah was born on December 19. (Happy birthday, son. You might get a sweet and touching birthday blog post…at some point.) […]
In the Collecting of Obscure Medical Procedures…
When I wrote my last post, I had no idea that I would find myself needing every one of those words the very next day. But first, let’s back up a bit. So for the last year and a half, I’ve worn duct plugs. It’s a really fun phrase to say over and over out […]
The One Thing You Must Have To Road Trip With Children.
I have discovered the one and only true Holy Grail of Kid-Included Road Trips. Without this, you will surely meet your doom, as your children will find you keeled over from over-questioning, exhaustion, and lack of alone time. And they won’t dial 911 because they have no idea how to use a phone without FaceTime. […]
What Happens After a Collision.
Continued from this post… Our ambulance arrived at the hospital and Chris was waiting for us. As they opened the doors, I was so relieved to hear his voice, although I couldn’t move my head to actually see him. The children arrived a moment later, Noah bubbling over with joy and reports of ambulance bliss. […]
The Road Is Always Greener on the Other Side.
It’s actually not, people. Staying on your side of the road is the greenest thing you can do. Because cars getting crushed and heaps of paperwork being made from Police, Paramedics, ER Docs, and Insurance companies is not green at all. And that’s without even mentioning all the plastic used in my lovely neck brace. […]
It Happened One Thursday.
The date was October 1, and we were trying to get out of town. Not right away, which was good as I hadn’t packed for anyone. But in the afternoon, leaving town was the plan. Ali was going to my Mom’s for the weekend, and Chris, Noah and I were going to Atlanta for the […]