Sam’s Club. Despite my feelings toward his mother Wal-Mart that I shared without reserve last week, I’ve always found Sam to be a delightful fellow. Big quantities, cheap prices, more locations than Costco, adorable little old ladies handing out samples… Actually that last point is starting to change. Because my third to last visit brought […]
Why I Will Henceforth Dehydrate Myself in Public.
Caution: This story is so humiliating that I didn’t even tell it to my husband for several days. And it took me all of a month to come back and read it and decide whether I’d cringe too much to share it here. (I will, for the record, but alas. I am a blogger. And […]
Solids Are Hard to Come By.
Reassurance: Despite my blogging track record and the implications of the above title, this post is not about potty-training. That one will come later in the week. You’re welcome. So. Last week was a slight bit busy for me. The Picture Birmingham website launch was exhilarating, exhausting, emotionally taxing, anxiety-inducing, overwhelming, and extraordinarily fun. And right […]
On Feminine Products and Men: The Essential Study.
My husband walked into the room, looking dejected. “You must think I’m a horrible man.” “What?? Why?!? You’ve been unbelievably helpful this week.” “I found your shopping list.” “Oooooh. Yes. Is this about me not asking you to buy pads?” “Yup. You asked me to pick up everything else on your list – except that.” […]
Theories Behind Tire Explosions.
I got sideswiped by The Knight Bus yesterday. And really, it had to happen to someone. Have you seen its ludicrous speeds and maneuvers? No, I guess you haven’t, since it’s invisible to Muggles, and I’m pretty sure that Hermione and Harry aren’t regular blog readers. (But Luna Lovegood totally is.) So. I was coming […]
The Economics of Denim.
My inbox stays constantly packed with emails of butts in jeans. Texts of butts in jeans. Questions about butts and jeans. I suppose when one is willing to show the world photos of their own butt in dozens of pairs of jeans in multiple posts over five years, people feel comfortable sharing their own butt […]
Pinterexia Nervosa: A Diagnostic Guide.
Pinterexia Nervosa is a body/home image disorder in which people have an intense anxiety over ensuring that their life is completely pinnable at any moment. This disease is most often diagnosed in women and most prevalent post-childbirth, as the quantity of contractible symptoms grow when children are involved. What are the Symptoms of Pinterexia Nervosa? […]
On Impressing My Seventeen-Year-Old Self.
We started using a babysitter in December 2011. Previously, we had just utilized the Grandparents, but Chris had been prodding me to find a babysitter I liked and get used to it so we could have more date nights and so that I would have options for the daytime. So, with much trepidation, I agreed. […]
On Gray Matter and Parenting.
When football players get injured, they are medically required to sit the bench until they are officially approved for play by a doctor. I can imagine that this would be frustrating for those players. However, I find them to be quite fortunate. Because Mommies do not have this same luxury. I’m pretty sure that I […]
The Excruciation of Christmas Cards.
1. Realize it’s November. And next comes December. Panic. 2. Try to choose a photographer. Too many great ones to make a decision like that. Panic. 3. Try to find a time that works for everyone involved. Curse Daylight Savings Time. 4. OUTFITS. Panic. 5. They must coordinate but not match. Colors! What colors do […]