You asked for it, so I’m here to deliver. I collected and analyzed the data that you so generously provided (via this post and on Facebook) regarding the frequency of the bathing of your children. In particular, I collected, where given: Number of children per family, Number of baths per week, And, since so many […]
Pigpen.
I had to kill a very large spider this morning…out of my children’s bathtub. Then, I had to dismantle his carefully constructed home, saliva-web-piece by saliva-web-piece, before I could start their bath. This COULD be considered a sign that I don’t bathe my children often enough. Or perhaps it’s just a sign that I have […]
Dr Pepper TEN: An Investigative Report.
On our trip to Atlanta last weekend, Chris and I were introduced, via the ripe discovery grounds of a Quickie Mart, to Dr Pepper TEN. Being an avid Diet Drink Hater up until this year, I’m still trying to discover ones that I can stomach, and possibly even enjoy. And Dr Pepper TEN was delicious […]
On Being All Set.
The following inner dialogue occurred Friday morning, directly after my second trip in three days to the Pediatrician’s office. I drove around to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru window for like the ninety-dozenth time in the past three weeks…she gave me my order and then perkily chirped, “Here’s your large coke and your small lemonade! You’re all […]
Frequently Asked Idiocies.
After 54 hours, our power was thankfully returned to us late last night. During those 54 hours, I had nothing better to do than repeatedly dial Alabama Power’s automated system enough to crash their server. I also checked out their website, and in said process, I read their FAQs. I discovered that their frequently asked […]
Meanderings About 30.
(Alternately titled: A Completely Self-Indulgent Egomaniacal Post About Nothing But Me.) A few weeks ago, upon meeting someone in real life for the first time, they told me, “Wow! You look so much younger in person than you do in your twitter picture!!” Thanks! Hey waitta minute … how old have I been looking??? Is […]
What I Learned at BlogHer.
I decided to attend my third BlogHer at the last minute to go to one event: The Voices of the Year Reception. Even though I wasn’t chosen as a speaker (thank goodness because my nerves couldn’t have handled it), being an Honoree was so exciting, and I had promised myself last year that if I […]
BabyFax.
Nobody buys a car anymore without first getting a CARFAX. And nobody would buy a used baby product ever, EVER again if there were BABYFAX. Imagine going to your favorite kid’s consignment sale… only every item had it’s BABYFAX attached…. Oh! Here’s an adorable Easter Dress! And it has BABYFAX is attached! It looks […]
Daily Exercise Log: Mommy.
3am: Jumping out of bed from dead sleep to go comfort crying baby: 10 calories burned. 3:05am: Jumping out of bed again to give crying baby a paci, praying feverishly that it sticks this time while imagining inventing elastic ear loops to hold the stinkin’ paci in: 10 calories burned. 4am: Jumping out of bed […]
If I Were The President…
If I Were The President of Graco, all infant car seats would come with attaching PopeMobile-style glass cubes – So that if a baby wanted to hear himself cry on every single stinkin’ car ride, he could feel completely free to do so – without subjecting the rest of his family to his lung’s capacities. […]