The following inner dialogue occurred Friday morning, directly after my second trip in three days to the Pediatrician’s office.
I drove around to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru window for like the ninety-dozenth time in the past three weeks…she gave me my order and then perkily chirped,
“Here’s your large coke and your small lemonade! You’re all set!!”
I’m all set??
Do you KNOW what my last three weeks have been like?
No? Let me fill you in.
It all started the Sunday before Labor Day when my four year old woke up at 3 AM with a 102 degree fever. We skipped church and forewent any Labor Day plans, spending copious amounts of time sitting on the couch and watching such classics as Tangled and discussing the deep philosophical questions therein such as why Mother Gothel says she’s teasing so much in great depths and on repeat.
Then, immediately after Ali recovered late Labor Day afternoon, Tropical Storm Lee paid an uninvited visit and left with our fine china and power.
Okay, he didn’t steal the fine china because we don’t have any, but he did take our power.
What followed was 52 hours of powerless hell.
Okay, it wasn’t hell, but it wasn’t fun either. YOU try entertaining, feeding, napping, schooling, and in general raising two kids without power. I hear they did it regularly at some point in history, but I don’t believe that sort of hogwashery.
Then, right as we got our power returned to us, Chris decided to enjoy his own serving of Ali’s fever virus, all while being in the middle of multiple projects at work with coinciding deadlines and therefore needing to spend his fever-filled evenings-after-the-kids-were-asleep working until midnight or later.
He recovered, but work did not. He continued to work unsavory amounts of work through the next two weeks, as the kids and I hung on for dear life on our own.
(And yes, Chick-Fil-A lady, I totally get that all of these circumstances are oh-so-temporary and completely ridiculous compared to many people’s much bigger problems, but I’m sure that all Mommies would agree that when a Mom is in the middle of Mommy Warfare, it’s really hard not to become exhausted and start looking feverishly for a refund on one’s month.)
Then the next week, I came down with illness. Thankfully, I recovered quicker than my fellow family members, but ill Mommy is never fun – for anyone.
And finally, this week, after bragging to Noah’s Pediatrician that he had only been sick twice in his whole life and those were just piddly little colds, he came down with The Fever Virus to End All Fever Viruses, shooting his temperature over 103 for three days.
And you know what, Chick-Fil-A lady? I learned something about my son during his illness. He prefers to spend his fevered hours awake. Completely awake. Completely awake and with Mommy in his tight grasp. Completely awake and with Mommy in his tight grasp and fussing all the while.
So I spent this week staying up until 2:15 AM one night and 4:30 AM the next night, rocking my poor sickly baby and reminiscing about my younger, not-so-close-to-30 years when staying up to these sorts of hours came more naturally.
And WOW did acting like a teenager again make me feel young!! And vibrant!! And wild!! And invigorated!!
So, Chick-Fil-A lady, you see that all of these circumstances have led to this very moment, where I find myself, for the first time in months, breaking down and ordering a real Coke, and on top of that, a LARGE real coke, DESPITE the fact that there is only a week to go before my final weigh-in that will forever settle who rocks the most in mine and Chris’ six month long weight loss competition.
And from what I hear, he’s winning by 0.3% – so this coke matters.
So no, I am NOT all set. My baby is still feverish, my body is still nearly non-functioning from exhaustion, my husband will probably win our bet, my kids aren’t quite back to normal, and I’m still turning 30 in two weeks.
But oh… this coke tastes GOOOOOD.
Okay, I’m all set now.
Epilogue: After a shocking six hour nap directly after the desperate purchase of that healing coke, Noah woke up fever-free. Chris and I got to enjoy a recovery date the next day, and I am using The Mommy Force (and ridiculous amounts of chocolate) to will this new week into a better direction.