Football season is in it’s third week and in full obsessive-insanity in the state of Alabama. Tattoo shops are filling up with loyalists wanting to bleed for their team, babies all over the state are being given abusive names such as Crimson, Saban, and Chizik, and billions of dollars are being spent just to watch […]
Breaking News: Baby Bends to Peer Pressure From the AIBC.
So. Noah and I went back to Michael’s last week. First of all, let me say that I’m really becoming endeared to Michael’s Lady, Queen of The Awkwardly Intense Busybody Club herself. In fact, her preposterous comments are really actually making me want to go to Michael’s MORE often, just to see what she’ll scold […]
The Day He Received His Third Nipple.
Chris, upon changing Noah’s clothes for bed… “Um, how did Noah get a third nipple?” Well, you see, it’s a long story, babe. It all started with a successful mall trip. Too successful, really – I should have been suspicious of the trouble headed my way. I had managed to make it to two stores […]
It’s Like Riding a Bike…
This photograph describes my daughter in a way that words cannot. This is The Essence of Ali. There’s a certain gene of cautiousness that runs deep in Chris and his family, and Ali got every last drop of it. Origami would be a risk in her book, what with the potential for paper cuts and […]
Just Because You’re Paranoid…
…doesn’t mean they’re not really out to get you. Or at least that’s what my Dad used to tease me with during the days of my overly-suspicious youth. I received a text last night. A nasty one. It was from a number I’d never seen before, out of state, and all it said was, “Parent […]
The Police: Not Just for Bad Tickets.
As I was laying in bed pondering life a couple of weeks ago, I rolled over to Chris and shared a troubling thought. “I don’t think that Ali has the right idea about police. Did you see that wide-eyed look of fear in her eyes when those policemen walked into Chick-Fil-A tonight? I’ve done a […]
The Grandparent Effect.
Kids. You send them to the Grandparents for a few days, and you miss ‘em like crazy. You can’t WAIT to pick them up, knowing that they’ll run to you, jump into your arms, and hug you, showering their undying affection upon you. Then you arrive, and you are quickly reminded of The Grandparent Effect. […]
Christmas in July
Way back in the dark ages of December, when I knew that a baby brother and the turmoil that would be sure to follow was imminent, I bought a Gingerbread House and Gingerbread Tree kit to make with Ali – one last hurrah of uninterrupted Mommy/Daughter QT. We made the house four days before Noah’s […]
Objectively Losing It.
Chris and I started our weight loss initiative on April 6, aiming to meet our goals by October 1. My goal was to be 130 pounds. Which, after getting a new scale and coming to grips with the fact that I weighed more than I thought, meant that I needed to lose 26 pounds. I […]
The Awkwardly Intense Busybody Club.
The Public and I have had a challenging time lately. It all started with the Checkout Lady at Michael’s – remember her? The only explanation that I can think of for what has happened since then is that she was so worried about my disdainful care of my infant that she called together an urgent […]