Dear Googly-Eyed Romantic Datey Couple sitting at the next table over at Zoës, Thank you for enjoying my baby boy as he made faces, giggled, smiled charmingly, and in general flirted with you. I was honored to contribute to your holding of the hands and dreamily gazing into each other’s eyes, imagining such a creature […]
The Christmas Countdown.
According to Chris, the best part of vacation is the anticipation. I don’t exactly agree with him, because being the logical person that I am, if anticipating something is better than the something you’re anticipating, then you’re obviously over-anticipating and therefore setting yourself up for failure. Not that I would ever overphilosophize the minutia of […]
Serial Vehicular Experimentation.
There are certain things in life that I am very opinionated about, and my transportation arrangements are one of them. Besides the fact that I refuse to drive a minivan on sheer principle, I also apparently like very polarizing, niche vehicles. For instance, you may remember my love affair with the Ford Flex. Of which […]
The Black Friday Buzz.
Blissfully drunken with holiday cheer and the much needed four day weekend, Chris and I became horrible parents, of the over-permissive variety. “Sure honey, you can turn the hardwood stairs into a slip ‘n slide!” “Why not? Of course you can drive today!” “Oh, you want to drive like your little brother? Okay, Ali! You […]
My Griswold.
The following events transpired on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, long before the Christmas Police would approve. Suspects are now in custody. There’s Clark… There’s Clark’s Assistant… There’s Clark’s Wanna-Be Assistant… (And Admirer) (And Taste-Tester) There’s plenty of time to waste while Clark works. Climbing trees… Getting stuck in trees… Swinging… Jumping in giant leaf piles… […]
The Hex of Chuck E.
I really should have known better. With all of the inventory in the world of deadly and miserable germs with which to build his arsenal, of course Chuck E Cheese would attack me and my family for documenting my experience at his House of Horrors. In fact, he probably has a voodoo doll in my […]
The Chuck.
E. Cheese, that is. Chris and I made it four years, ten months, and three days into our parenting career without crossing his threshold. And we were well pleased with ourselves. Then we received an invitation to a good friend’s son’s birthday party. A friend that Ali would be disappointed to miss his celebration. (A […]
Smashing Misconceptions Right and Left.
I was around six years old. I was hanging out at the ball park with my group of little friends – aka all of the little sisters who were bored to death while their older brothers played YET ANOTHER baseball game. We were standing around behind the concession stand and admiring the clouds. One of […]
The More You Know…
(Alternately titled, “More Than You Wanted To Know…”) Last week, I opened the floor for questions. A few of you had them, so I’m here to answer. Eva asked, how many siblings do you have? were you home schooled for your whole school years? I have two brothers – JC is 2 1/2 years older […]
Regarding the Fate of my Hand.
To fully understand the story of what happened to my hand, you must first have an understanding of where I live. Our neighborhood is adjacent to a very prestigious suburb of Birmingham. We have no pretenses that our adjacency makes us included in any way – we are unincorporated, not belonging to any city. Which […]