I saw this car at the playground the other day and couldn’t help reading it as one long sentence. AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE READ. I love Zombies. Save the tiny red dog ta-tas, Mom. _____ I get weird trends. I used to be a teen, a youngster, hip and all that. You do […]
Blog Roll
It’s Not Summer Until Somebody Cries at Swim Lessons.
I have a stubborn, finicky five-year-old. Who tries to convince me and everyone else otherwise with his charming blue eyes. No really. He’s stubborn and finicky. It is for this reason that, when he began swimming on his own two weeks before his first round of swimming lessons, I texted his father and said “Swim […]
Alabama, The Hunger Games Arena.
For the first time in my life, it has recently been pointed out to me that Alabama is an unsafe place to live. And also for the second time in my life, less than a month later. I really had no idea. I was in denial. It’s so beautiful…It has to be perfect! All places […]
The Best Worst Comments: Volume IV
It’s a good year when I get to have two Best Worst Comments posts before summer even begins. It’s a good year because people are really getting passionate about the important things – like sherbet. And….bass turds? I don’t even understand what that has to do with sherbet but I’m pretty sure it’s not an […]
The Lilies, the Snakes, and the Misplaced Boob.
It was time for a new adventure. And I wanted to see firsthand, for the first time in my life, The Cahaba Lily. It’s a famed flower in our area, being very rare, quite endangered, and living in sparse, hard-to-access clumps along the Cahaba River, which is a relatively tiny waterway that winds itself through […]
How Mommy Nobel Peace Prizes are Won.
“I’m having a bad day.” “I’m having a bad day too.” “Wanna join forces and do something really difficult together?” “Sure! Let’s be sure to take on something so challenging that it will surely be physically impossible for us to accomplish it with the quantity and ages of children that will be accompanying us.” “Perfect! I’ll pick […]
Marketing 101: A Crucial Skill For Parents.
Last Wednesday night, Ali had her Awanas awards ceremony. Noah had his Cubbies banquet the week before, and I remembered the agony of trying to get him to sit still through Ali’s ceremony last year. It negated any ability I had to celebrate my oldest child, and I had no desire for a repeat. So […]
Very Short Stories from Mexico.
“Not at all creepy.” Our resort had a spa. The upcoming sign is not from our resort. In fact, it was in front of a roadside tent shrouded in bedsheets. As in, park your moped here on the sidewalk for a moment and follow me into my dark hole between the sheets for a …. Yes, they […]
The Squirrel of the Caribbean.
As our plane was coming down in Cancun and I saw all of the scrubby, foreign trees lining the city, I immediately began dreaming of all of the exotic, wildly colorful snakes that must be in those trees. I was so excited over the prospect of spotting one because I absolutely adore reptiles and amphibians. It’s not […]