Jealousy.

Hi, virtual people! Noah here!

So I just found out that The Sister Who Calls Herself Ali guest blogged yesterday.

And let me tell you – my first reaction was not happiness on her behalf.

I’M the guest blogging kid around here – not her!!

And besides that, I had just pitched an awesome blog idea to The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy last week, and she flat turned me down.

Shock and horror doesn’t begin to describe my emotions over her rejection.

I mean, which of you readers WOULDN’T have wanted to see a graph showing how my Uncontrollable Ninja Poos compared in strength next to Bruce Lee, The Karate Kid, and Kung Fu Panda?!?

I told you it was awesome.

But can you believe that all she gave me was a condescending, “Maybe next time, honey…”

And then I read Ali’s guest post.

(Of course I can read.  Whaddya think I am, a baby??)

I mean – how can a ridiculously confusing diatribe of Princesses and Fairies sitting on moons be anywhere NEAR as interesting as my uncontainable nuclear bowels??

So yes – I’m mad.

And I’m disappointed in The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy – I really thought she had better taste than that.

But don’t you worry about me – because I’m also busy plotting my tasty revenge.

I’ve watched enough Phineas and Ferb to know The Facts of Life: the little brother ALWAYS comes out ahead.

I’ve perfected my plan, so now all I have left to do is practice my simpering looks of innocence when I am inevitably accused of my crimes.

“Who, me??”

“Oh – you think I could do something like that?”

“Seriously?? I’m shocked at the mere suggestion that I have the bodily coordination and cognitive wherewithal to dunk every last one of your precious princesses in the toilet!!”

Oh yes, dear Ali.  I AM THAT BROTHER.

Just call me Nemesis.