I wasn’t going to post one this year.
I know, I know – it’s tradition.
But I live-tweeted it instead on a particularly fun gameday, and I thought that was good enough.
Apparently it was not.
I had people who missed it. Or wanted it all again. And some that even said “it’s all they wanted for Christmas.”
Weirdos.
I am not one to let people down, regardless of how bonkers their requests are, or how disappointed most fans may be that Alabama is “just” playing in the Sugar Bowl tonight.
(When I was a kid I pictured a gigantic bowl full of sugar with dozens of tiny football players running through it like maggots. Everyone else did too, right?)
At any rate, I present to you: The 2013 Collection of Gameday Sightings.
And those sightings were not limited to humans – even the Wall-Es in attendance got dressed up real nice.
(Who brings their bulldozer tailgating with them?? The same people who name their kids Krimson Tyde, if I had to guess.)
But aside from heavy machinery outfitting, It doesn’t have to cost a fortune to be gameday-appropriate. Sometimes it might even cost suspiciously too little.
Don’t expect those boots to make it in AND out of the stadium before unraveling.
But shoes were a big deal this year – after all, they can make or break the cohesion of your look.
Shoes can also be useful in identifying your body if you get caught up in a stadium trample.
Shoes can keep the flow of your outfit going from your hips to your toes,
And shoes always set off the sexiness of your jeans.
Oh. And did I mention how much Toms loves Alabama Football? Because they do.
But remember – the walk to the stadium is long and tedious. Although team colors are important, comfort is much more so.
But if you just can’t find that perfect pair of gameday shoes, you can always wear them on your chest.
Legwear is also vital to consider on gameday.
Or rather, the lack of legwear.
Because it’s Alabama, where pants are always optional.
Even in boot + knee sock weather.
But that’s okay. Because God approves of all forms of Alabama Fandom.
And He doesn’t mind AT ALL when His favorite football team’s fans take his Holy Scriptures and turn them into cheers.
(But perhaps this is why he gave Auburn all the sunsets and sunrises.)
But God isn’t the only notable Alabama fan.
On gameday, you can spot Johnny Depp and Zach Galifianakis,
random dudes that find Flora-Bama wife-beaters to be perfect Alabama attire,
And Vin Diesel. Wearing HexBug-sized Houndstooth.
So clearly, like Stacy’s Mom we’ve got it going on.
Also, we have overalls and we know how to use them. We’ll do stripes.
We can rock Houndstooth up one leg and down the other.
We can even do random farm animals and make it look awesome.
WE EVEN HAVE MONOGRAM KIOSKS ON OUR SIDE, PEOPLE.
When monograms are for us, who can be against us?
Hurting our chances of winning, however, is the fact that we believe leggings can be pants.
And that we assume chevron can be worn vertically. While straddling a chain fence.
But our ability to successfully layer houndstooth and houndstooth TOTALLY makes up for that.
And, just like at any social occasion, you run the risk of showing up dressed just like your best friend. Or twin sister. Whatever.
To mitigate that possibility, just show up to the game in your bathrobe.
Or, if you prefer, in Mom Jeans or custom-shredded leggings.
And if you want your Mom Jeans to be your own dirty little secret, there are festive solutions for that, too.
But we must always remember.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, people.
LSU Fans are weirder than Alabama fans.
Thank God for LSU.
hahahaha. I want to comment on so many of these pictures, but I don’t even know where to begin. Bless that girl’s heart, with the birthmark on her butt. Put some clothes on for crying out loud. You look ridiculous. I am proud of you for snapping so many pictures. I often want, so bad, to snap pictures of ridiculously dressed people and don’t have the nerve to do it.
BIRTHMARK OR BRUISE? We will never know, because I’m sure you were too much of a lady to walk up and ask her. NOT too much of a lady to take a picture of her without her permission, mind you. Bygones.
I know, I know. I’m always reticent about this post, but the masses demand it!! What is a blogger to do?
Bahahahha! ROLL TIDE!
As someone who LOVES houndstooth and does NOT love Alabama, I love everything about this post. :)
Thanks! I can imagine it’s difficult to wear houndstooth without getting Roll Tides.
Christmas wish: granted! ;-) Hilarious! ROLL TIDE!!!
I had you specifically in mind. :-)
I have waited all year for this post! My dreams of houndstooth and monograms and football have been answered…
I’m so glad! Hopefully it begins your New Year off on the right foot.
Soooo many questions. Did sister really show up for a ball game in the equivalent of a long bathing suit and wellies? What do these girls wear for unders when their dresses are that brief? (Because anything but those full-coverage cheerleading lollies would be downright indecent.) Why is the lady in the LSU photo wearing what appears to be a latex catsuit? I mean, the guys with her look totally ridiculous, but at least they’re wearing fan gear. A catsuit?
This all makes me want to cruise by the football stadium on a game day and see if UK fans are as sartorially insane as Alabama and LSU fans. Maybe it’s an SEC thing.
I can tell you from experience: Kentucky fans are NOT as crazy. Sorry.
I need to buy new clothes and I thought I’d wait until after we move to Alabama in the spring so I won’t stick out like the Yankee preppy I am. I’m pretty sure I now know What Not To Wear.
I find all of this AWESOME! We are so boring in Wisconsin! Probably because we are too busy freezing our bums off to even try being “fashionable.”
Will you think any less of me if I admit that, should I ever find myself in a store that sells houndstooth shoes, I would totally buy them?
I fully support your future houndstooth feet.
:) Love it! Love it all!
I guess what makes it so funny is that it’s so true! I have to admit, though, although I don’t have monogrammed boots, I do have monogrammed cuffs to wear over the top of my boots. And I really liked the chevron dress the twins were wearing! But then again, I am a Bama fan, a graduate of UA, and I’m pretty sure one if the pictures was taken outside of my old sorority house! It’s funny, though. I don’t own an Alabama shirt or sweatshirt I’d wear to a game, but I’ve got a houndstooth blouse, a black blouse with white elephants on it, numerous crimson sweaters and shells, crimson pants (ok, they are red), and a houndstooth vest. At least I wouldn’t wear them all at the same time! Loved the post!
I am a huge fan of wearing non-licensed gear to games, so you are on my Official Well-Dressed List. Unless, as you say, you wore them all at once. :-)
W O W !! that’s all crazy. I don’t follow college football so I’m not used to how crazy fans will dress, but that’s some kind of crazy right there :) Around where I live (and went to school), all I see is a sea of green for UNT. But I don’t think they go all out like your photos lol.
I have been reading your blog for a couple months and have been too shy to comment up until this point, but this post has inspired me. I think that Alabama fans must just be so passionately excited for game day that they just forget to look in the mirror before they head out to the game, That has to be it, right? I live in Lexington, KY and a similar phenomenon occurs at the Keeneland meets; all caution, shame, rules of fashion, and good sense are just thrown to the wind. Maybe I will do some documentation this spring,
I hope you’re holding up well- I don’t envy anyone who has to live with an Alabama fan today. Good luck!
Thanks for reading!
And yes, I’m positive that’s the reason. :-)
Although I bet your fashion has more interesting facets, like giant hats and pastel dresses. Or no? I’d love to see the documentation!
So howlingly funny!!! You truly have a gift, Rachel. Being born and bred amongst all these passionate Bama fans, I, too have an abundance of passion which I prefer to persue in other directions, not football. But I see where I got it! Alabama. Gotta love it!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It is a unique experience to live in this state during football season.
yay! this is hands down one of my favorite series you do. so glad you didn’t skip over it this year! :)
Thank you for capturing and sharing the magic that apparently appears at Alabama games! This was hilarious.
You can probably get just as many pics of the weird on a non-game day. The tights as pants really gets me. And boots with shorts. Hot or cold? But you know, at least some of them are creative and not the lemmings that too many become.
These posts have me rolling with laughter. It’s especially funny b/c I see this stuff every day.
Were those Hee-Haw overalls? Haven’t seen any of those in decades!
Were they?? I’m too young for Hee Haw. Although I do remember my Great-Grandmother watching it when I was very very little… :-)