“1-2 caffeinated drinks a day.”
It’s the mantra that is told to every pregnant lady, over and over and over and over, filled with guilt and threatening menace should you cross the line.
Of course, I’ve always taken that to mean “1-2 Giant 44 Ounce Caffeine Bombs a day”, so that way I never feel guilty if I “accidentally” have three regular-sized caffeinated drinks a day.
AND restaurant refills TOTALLY don’t count. They just make up for all the ice in the cup.
PLUS, I always assume that they tell you about half as much as is REALLY safe, just to make sure they can never be sued.
PLUS, I figure I have a TON of rollover caffeine from those first 13 weeks where I could hardly drink anything.
“100-200 milligrams of caffeine a day.”
That’s the other figure you see everywhere. As if THAT means anything – it’s not like “Caffeine” is listed on those FDA required nutrition-per-serving charts or anything. So I just ignore that part.
My little brother was randomly reading (out loud) from the back of his coke can (a fun hobby of his)… “34 milligrams of caffeine.”
“Wait… how many??”
“34?!?!?! That’s IT??? Lemme see!!!”
Sure enough, there it is. Right on the side of the can. Has that always been there??
I immediately start doing the math…34 milligrams into 200….that’s 5.88 cans of coke a day – not 1-2!!! Acceptable and free from guilt!!! And that’s BEFORE I add in the free refills and double it for don’t-sue-me-doctor-figures!!!
THEY’VE BEEN LYING TO US ALL!!!!
So now, my caffeine rollover bank is refilled and ready to enjoy my Fountain Coke with a Side of Starbucks and a piece of Chocolate Cheesecake…
…just as soon as today’s weigh-in at the doctor is over.