There are certain dreams that are universal, for whatever psycho-babbly Freudian reason.
We all dream that we can fly…
We all dream that we’re in our underwear in front of everyone we know…
And, in the morning, when it’s almost time to wake up and we’ve been sleeping soundly for many hours, we all dream that we’ve got to pee, so (in our dream) we go pee, and then STILL have to pee, because (fortunately) we didn’t actually pee.
It’s an infuriating dream, and tends to be repetitive. You pee, you still gotta pee, so you go pee again, you still gotta pee, so you go pee again, and you finally wake up, still having to pee and quite frustrated.
THAT, my friends, is the reality that IS pregnancy.
(Yes, I did spend some time pondering what it said about my level of classiness that I was willing to write an entire blog post about pee. And what my Mother would think.)
(And yes, for some crazy reason, I still decided to write it. Because honestly, there’s not too much room for anything else to be on my mind lately.)
(And yes, I realize that this post is written in the frantic fashion of run-on sentences that are used when someone is hopping around on one leg needing to go pee…because that’s how I live these days.)
This PeeDreamReality is ESPECIALLY true when you’re carrying a boy, who, being true to old wives’ tales, decides to hang out down low.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that my Uterus is actually housed inside my bladder. Or my bladder inside my uterus. Or they’re one and the same. Or something.
At least with Ali, it wasn’t until I was about to give birth any second that I would go, start to walk out the bathroom door, then shake my fists at the air with a yell of frustration, and walk back in the bathroom to pee again.
This time, it’s been since the beginning. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been laying on the couch, desperately not wanting to get up for the 10th time in 20 minutes, fantasizing about being catheterized, and wondering how our family was going to survive the 2010 Toilet Paper Budgetary Crisis.
In fact, I think I’ll go ahead and start docking Noah’s future allowance now, to manage to pay for the for the TP AND the water bill.
Gotta go now…literally.