home·com·ing (hom’ kum’ ing) n.

  1. A coming to or returning home.

  2. An annual event at schools, colleges, and universities for visiting graduates.

  3. A seasonally ridiculously cold football game that had to be scheduled ridiculously late so that taking a toddler into the game as had been planned would be completely foolhardy. However, being that there is a parade and much to entertain said toddler, it is still a worthwhile event at which to spend part of the day.

re·vue (ri-vyoo’)
n. A musical show (or blog post) consisting of skits, songs, and dances (or just pictures), often satirizing current events, trends, and personalities.

Although the cold weather was a bit off-putting to ME, Ali was thrilled for her first opportunity to try out her new girly winter coat:


In ever-so-fitting of a manner, Cousin Eli was QUITE busy making sure that he didn’t look girly in ANY way:IMG_4535I love the mud-mixed-with-snot look.

Ali, not so much. She was too busy daintily holding her cookie so as to not get even a crumb on her prized coat.IMG_4521

Although she didn’t approve of Eli’s facial fashion sense, she WAS quite impressed with his hot ride:


As soon as they started moving, she looked up at me and squealed, “Is this a special treat?!?!?!?”

We sat up camp on the parade route early this year to ensure a place to sit. However, that gave us QUITE a bit of time to entertain three kids and keep them from walking one inch forward into the road.

So I let Ali do a bit of photography. If Ali had a blog, this is what her photographs would look like:IMG_4538Her comment as she critiqued this picture: “I got a picture of a PART of Daddy….”

Ali’s Gymnastics Idol, Rachel, was sitting with rest of the Alabama Gymnasts across the street from us. Ali was thrilled to be in their presence. So I taught her about zoom, and let her photograph them:


She also got Uncle Joey…IMG_4547
And Aunt Lindsay…IMG_4548
And even another shot of a PART of Daddy…IMG_4549

But no interest in photographing Uncle JC or her cousins.

The parade was FINALLY getting close, so the excitement was building:IMG_4552 …as was her need to pee.

But I chose to ignore that. My parenting philosophy: If she can hold poop for six days, then she can hold pee through a parade.

She took the parade very seriously, critiquing the band:IMG_4563 IMG_4553

And dutifully waving at all of the Princesses with Crowns. (Although some were “Queens”, according to her. I sincerely hope not.)

Of course, you get to see the obsessed fringes of Alabama Football society on homecoming day, like the person that would pay untold amounts of money to get licensed artwork transferred onto a car:

or would take the time to create a whole amusement park truck, with fully animated rotisserating opponent mascots:IMG_4581

or would have specific plays airbrushed onto their motorcycles:IMG_4576

Because you just know that in fourth grade on career day, Tyrone Prothro said “I wanna be such a good football player that I get painted on motorcycle wheel wells!!!”

I started noticing the overwhelming fashion trend in all of the sororities:IMG_4582

IMG_4586 IMG_4588

But I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Ali said, “They’re ALL wearing boots, Mommy!!!”

JC replied, “Yes, ugly boots.”

Lindsay explained, “Actually, they’re UGG boots.”

Ali: “They’re all wearing UGGGGly boots, Mommy!!!”

(Those pieces of fashion commentary brought to you solely by JC and Ali. I can’t be blamed or associated with their opinions, although if I were, it might not be inaccurate.)

There was a very tiny taste of Dragon*Con at the parade, except with FAR inferior costumage than D*C:IMG_4590

These tastes were mostly brought to us by Chris’ Alma Mater Dorm, The Mallet Assembly:IMG_4597

Chris was tearfully proud of his heritage:IMG_4599

But one thing you can’t get at Dragon*Con: The Stormtrooper, QB edition:IMG_4600

The law school was in tails and jeans as always, but it looks like someone is going to be getting sued for tearing off their banners before the parade:IMG_4609 Somehow I’m thinking that they didn’t win best float.

And don’t miss the guys in the back of this second royally fancy float with the cut-off jeans to accompany their tails:

Speaking of, it’s time for a bit of fashion revue. Although I usually stick to the female variety of fashion critique, today is a special edition: How to achieve the Tacky Male Fan look.

Remember me talking about toddlers in clown pants earlier this week? Well, there is one exception to adults not wearing clown pants, and that is if you are going for – you guessed it – the Tacky Male Fan look:IMG_4616 If we ever change our mascot from Big Al to Bozo, we’ll know who to call.

Secondly. I love Houndstooth. It’s a great accent piece to any Alabama outfit. It adds class, variety, and is a nice, neutral print. Especially on girls.

(such as Ali on Friday:)IMG_4507


Men’s Pants were NEVER meant to be in a super-jumbo houndstooth print:IMG_4617But the red and white striped belt and matching tie – that’s what REALLY completes this outfit as true Tacky Male Fandom Glory.

And finally, the classic embroidered-elephants-on-the-trouser look:IMG_4620

Unless you are going for said Tacky Male Fandom, here’s a Rule of Thumb: On the male body, the only place that embroidery is appropriate is less than an inch in diameter on the chest area – maybe an alligator, an eagle, or even an elephant is acceptable.

A man should NOT look like his over-excited-mother-who-just-got-a-new-embroidering-sewing-machine got ahold of his nice dress pants and WENT TO TOWN.

Now I know that I said that it was all about men this time, but I did discover one eye-opening nugget of fashion information: I always wondered how thigh-high boots worked. How did you bend your knees?

I now know:IMG_4618

Thigh-high boots are just FAUX-boots above the knee. Kind of like those vest-shirts I had in the 80’s. Vest on the front, T-shirt on the back.

But you know what? I bet her legs were warmer than mine.

*** End of Fashion Revue ***

Finally, back at the tailgate party, Ali put to use all of the good football skills that Daddy has been teaching her to impress an Older Man:IMG_4623
However, no matter how much one prepares to catch the ball,

Sometimes it’s hard to keep your head in the game:IMG_4625 words

Finally, after much homecoming fun, Lindsay and I filled her back seat with cousins and headed to our warm and cozy homes, leaving the menfolk to turn into fansicles while enjoying the game.IMG_4642

p.s. – I just realized that my husband would be so ashamed of his wife’s lackluster fandom if I didn’t mention SOMEWHERE in this post that Alabama is now ranked number one in the country. Consider it mentioned.

20 thoughts on “A Homecoming Revue

  1. Thanks for such a good review…it was almost like I was there!

    I hate the UGGly boots look this time of year…and all year for that matter. Law Students never change and you will never believe my husband was a Malleteer too!

  2. Wow, that is some serious football pride! It looks like Ali had fun watching everything! I love her Alabama outfits. So cute!

  3. I love the review. :) It was good. Agree that men shouldn't wear embroidered anything except a symbol on a shirt. Also, those clown pants were awful. They make Alabama fans look so bad. He needs to be ashamed.

    Love the pics of Ali. She was having a great hair day. I love her new coat. It's so pretty.

  4. That was perfect. I felt like I was there without having to endure any of it! Thanks for sharing. Incidentally, I adore Ali's coat. Why can't I find that in my size, I ask you?

  5. That was hilarious with everyone wearing the boots!

    Ali is a style icon already. You deck her out in the cutest finery available.

  6. Well it looked like fun. This weekend was also UF's Homecoming but I didn't attend any of the events. I am not really into it. Ali and Eli were adorable and I agree about the UGGly boots I never liked them. Oh and Glad Alabama won!

  7. "WENT TO TOWN" Love it!

    Great review, as always. And Ali looks adorable in her new coat. I noticed she had a pink sippy cup. Has she given up Thomas?

  8. Fantastic. I also love Ali's coat. I have to ask, though: Did Chris REALLY have on shorts?!?

    I always get a good laugh out of the guys' pants at UA games. I am glad that Jason sticks with jeans or khakis. He does have a "lucky" shirt that he wears every week, but it's not embarrassing to me.

  9. Awww, fun. We didn't go down on Saturday but one of my little sorority sisters was on Homecoming Court and they also got 2nd place in the lawn decoration contest. You would not BELIEVE how hard those girls work these days.

    And, I'm about to go get me some knockoff Uggs at Target.

  10. Tammy – Craziness! Does that make us …. sister-in-laws?

    Mama Hen – No, she's still a big Thomas fan – but ya gotta mix some pink in too.

    Lianne – Yes, Chris REALLY had on shorts. He wears them all winter long, unless it goes below 40. He swears that his legs don't get cold. He said that's what leg hair is for.

    Kitty – I know, I know…but there is that last pic where she's partially visible. In my defense, she was kept tightly bundled for obvious reasons all day.

  11. That 1st picture of Eli is hilarious, I laughed out loud when I saw it!
    Those cars in the parade were crazy, who in the world would want to drive around town in one of those!
    That just made me think…is your Pilot crimson red just by chance or did Chris request that it be that color :)

  12. I wasn't able to go this year and hate that I missed the Roll Tide Storm Troopers, many of whom I met at this year's Imagicon (like DragonCon, but cooler).


  13. Well, if I ever had the urge to wear UGGS, it is squashed now. (Which I can never really remember having that urge) Who knew they were still so popular?

  14. we ALMOST beat Florida. doesn't that count for anything?! : )

    Love the infatuation pic!

  15. I love your fashion reviews! Those UGG boots will never be on my body ever! They are horrible looking. I mean being warm and looking cute at the same time can be accomplished. Why subject others to that ugliness? LOL


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