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Ten Indicators Of a Possible Twitter Addiction

March 22, 2010October 30, 2013 Rachel Callahan I'm a Blog Geek, Let's Talk about The Internet

Dear Mom: You will be completely puzzled by this post. Forgive me in advance.
Love, Rachel.

I’ve found myself rather Tweetless for the past week, and I’ve yet to be able to fully diagnose the cause. It’s creating some Twangst in my soul about being so boring that I have nothing Tweetable going on, or worse yet, can’t figure out how to write creative tweets about the Tweetable things that ARE in my life.

Obviously, for a Blogger, this is a terribly bad sign.

What if my UnderTweetitis turns into UnderBlogitis like a UTI turns into a bladder infection which turns into a Kidney infection?!?!

What if I am left a Social-Media-Paralytic, with nothing ever to say to anyone in the written form?!?

What if it spreads to real life and I become mute and socially awkward?!?!

(Oh yeah – I’m already socially awkward. At least I don’t have to worry about that one.)

In the midst of my embroilment in Twangst, I came up with a few indicators of a Twidiction.

Ten Indicators Of a Possible Twitter Addiction:

10. When you walk up to someone and want to spark a conversation, you start out with “at Bob: …”

9. You cannot properly start your day until you’ve gotten on Twitter and said “Good Morning, Peeps!”, and you can’t fall asleep until you’ve told all your peeps Good Night.

8. Your number of tweets is higher than your followers multiplied by your following.

7. When someone tells you a good joke, you laugh, then immediately say, “Retweet Bob”, and proceed to tell the whole joke over again, word for word, as they stare at you with The Look that says “should you be on medication?”.

6. When someone asks what your favorite TV show is, you answer “It’s hashtag Glee.”

5. You refer to people by their Twitter Handles rather than their names.

4. You’ve quit communicating with your Grandmother because she doesn’t Tweet.

3. You overhear someone talking about a news story for the third time in one day, and you say, “Wow, that’s really trending today.”

2. You talk about your peeps so much that your mother thinks you have an Easter Candy Addiction.

1. When you have nothing to tweet about, you find yourself in a state of Twangst, and feel the need to write a Twittercentric blog about Twidiction.

Which, now that I think about it, gives me an idea for a few Tweets! I’ll just start tweeting “Signs of Twitter addiction” with the hashtag of #Twidiction.

Aaaaaaahhh….I feel the Twangst leaving my soul.

Riddles, Romance, and Christmas

December 29, 2009 Rachel Callahan Mystery Solved, The Blissfulness of Life

Chris and I are all about a good game or puzzle. We especially like scavenger hunts.

The year we got married, we didn’t have much money (if anyone DID have much money the year they got married, the rest of us think you’re lying). Anyway, there was an Eddie Bauer grey wool coat that Chris really wanted. I saved up my spending money and bought it for him, but wanted to make it REALLY special. So I made up clues that led him all the way through our house until he found it.

This year, he returned the favor.

He gave me a Christmas card that had a tiny slip of paper in it.

It said, “The Secret Lies with Ali.”

I knew immediately that I was being led on a scavenger hunt.

I knew that the next clue couldn’t ACTUALLY be with Ali, because she wasn’t awake yet (she slept until 9:30 on Christmas morning, at which point we got tired of waiting for her and woke her up), so I had to think deeper.

Plus, Chris is all about word play.

“LIES.”

What does Ali lie about?

Well, her favorite lie is that she needs to tee-tee at night RIGHT before it’s time for bed (classic United Toddler Union stalling techniques).

So I head to her bathroom. Sure enough, I find this clue:

I before E…except after C.

This one took a while, but I finally stumbled on it…a slip of paper was stuffed in between middle C and D on the piano.

This was the hardest clue of all of them, in my opinion.

After QUITE a bit of hintage and one false alarm where I found this folded up piece of oh-so-helpful paper…
I found the next clue, hidden in the Trivial Pursuit box.

Do you speak French?

Not really, but I took it for a few years. But I think the answer you’re looking for is “Oui.”

This one took me WAY TOO LONG to put together (I was starting to feel the pressure of getting Ali up and opening her presents so I could cook Christmas lunch for Chris’ family, so I WAS a bit distracted, in my defense…)

Oui = Wii.

The next clue was under the Wii.

The Truth. The Bible.

Where does Chris keep his bibles?

In his basement office… Notice the hinges on that bookshelf?

Yes, it’s a straight-out-of-British-Literature opening bookshelf – I guess the original builders had a lot more to hide than we do.

I had to get him to open it for me (it’s quite heavy), and I discovered my present:
A full-length mirror!! Something I’ve always wanted.

And, apparently, so had Ali:

I want a scavenger hunt EVERY day!

Among other romantic gifts from my husband was this:

“You got me a DOORKNOB for Christmas?!”

“Yep. It’s for our room. It goes with Ali’s big girl bed.”

“Huh?”

“It locks…”

*Jeopardy Theme Song*

“OOOOH…”

Romance. It’s not dead around here.

Gumshoe, Mommy Style.

August 19, 2009 Rachel Callahan Mystery Solved, Toddlers: The Experience

I absolutely HATED the movie A Christmas Story as a kid.

Maybe it was because my Grandparents always had it in the VHS player, all too eager to cue up EVERY time we came over, regardless of whether it was July or December.

Or, maybe it was because it is THE MOST DEPRESSING MOVIE EVER MADE.

However, there was one part that I always found fascinating: The Decoder Ring.

I always wanted to be a detective as a little girl. In fact, there was a period of time where I insisted on being called “Carmen Sandiego”.

(I don’t remember exactly when that occurred, except that it immediately followed the time period where I answered to the name “Nancy Drew”.)

So, the idea of a decoder ring always fascinated me.

And now., I find myself a grown woman – a Mommy, a wife, with an accounting degree (just as exciting as “Detective”, don’t you think?), but I still have a thrill run down my spine whenever I solve a mystery.

(You might have already noticed my penchant for mysteries from The Neighborhood Mystery, The Perfume Mystery, The Magically Appearing Water Mystery, The Blue Light Mystery, or The ALDOT Mystery.)

Luckily for me, there are many mysteries to be solved when a toddler is underfoot, so even though my life may appear unadventurous on the outside, I can still convince myself that there are mysteries to be solved! Crimes to bring justice to! Puzzles to figure out!

And, I have had TWO spine-chillingly thrilling solved mysteries in the past couple of days, so obviously, I am one happy detective.

Case Closed #1: The Case of the Unfounded Hate.

I am pretty convinced that toddlers rarely say anything that is completely random. Nearly everything that they come up with is based off of some sort of prior frame of reference that someone has taught them.

Due to this belief, I was quite worried (and a bit mystified) the other day when Ali told me in her cheeriest, most endearing voice that she hated me.

But then, this morning (two weeks after the original hatred incident), it all came together.

I went to get Ali out of bed this morning, and again in the most sweet, cheery voice, she said, “I hate you calling me, Mommy!!”

“What, baby?”

Clear as a bell, again, “I hate you calling me, Mommy!”

“We don’t say hate, honey.”

Look of utter confusion.

Besides her reaction, something just didn’t seem right – that sentence sounded very familiar.

And then it clicked – she was quoting me. Except that she was just mispronouncing a VERY important word.

Background: She likes staying in bed for a while after she wakes up (if I come too soon to get her, she asks me to go away and close the door). Eventually, she starts saying in a quiet voice, “I’m ready to get up now, Mommy.” I hear this cue on the monitor, and go get her. I often greet her by saying in a cheery, sing-song voice, “I heard you calling me, Ali!”

And that’s it.

Line up the decoder ring, and:

Ali-nese: Hate

English: Heard.

Wow. All that time, she was just telling me that she heard me.

Life makes so much more sense now.

(And, if you want to experience this for yourself, I recorded it tonight. Just ignore the mess in the background, and my annoying and incessant efforts at trying to get her to say the same thing over and over.)

Case Closed #2: The Case of Tessa and the Snot.

Remember Ali’s observation that Baby Tessa was older than her snot?

Well that one definitely pushed the limits of my Theory on the Unrandomability of Toddlers. So it kept nagging at me.

What was the connection between Ali’s snot and Baby Tessa?

And then, laying in bed way past the time I should have fallen asleep (which is when I come up with everything of any importance), it hit me: The day that Tessa was born, Ali was getting over a cold. She had been telling everyone at the hospital that she “was a little snotty”, and I didn’t allow her to get close to Baby Tessa because of that.

(At which point, she asked me, “Because Baby Tessa will get me sick?”

“No baby, quite the opposite.”)

Anyway, she was remembering that she had been “A little snotty” the day Tessa was born, and so she associated the two together.

And THAT’S how Tessa got to be older than Ali’s snot.

Now that I’ve solved these mysteries, it’s time to go throw back my strawberry blond hair, kick back and celebrate with my best friends Bess and George and my boyfriend Ned.

And if they’re lucky, we might invite The Hardy Boys over.

~~– Rachel~~

– Nancy

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