So the consensus after concluding Ali’s toddler quotes seemed to be to keep Noah’s quotes here (sorry B-Sides – it’s not you, it’s me.) Even though it seems a bit too over the top cutesy for my usual fare, I’m trusting you guys here – if you let me turn into a gooey sticky blog […]
As I Enter The Asylum,
this will be the last story that I ever tell. It all started a couple of weeks ago. I had promised to meet two friends at The Wish Collection to do some shopping. I was excited, because I hadn’t been back since my original score (and had been hearing about the beautiful finds that many […]
When Intelligence Leaks.
Toddler Intelligence Agency, Home Office Security Clearance: SLEEP CODE RED INTELLIGENCE BREACH The Toddler Intelligence Agency (TIA) has determined that “Noah”, hereafter named “The Agent”, has allowed a serious breach in confidential agency terminology. On the afternoon of May 15, The Agent did so use a Code Sleep Security Command (CSSC) in the […]
Parenthood 2.1
Dear Tech Support, I have recently upgraded my software to Boy Child 2.5. Although in general, this new version is very visually pleasing and much less taxing on The Motherboard, I have noticed some bugs and issues, and was hoping you could advise me on how to work around them since you were so […]
The Outtake.
Just because I have a vision, a dream, a calling even, to visit fifty new restaurants this year, does not mean that my children have the same sense of seriousness and urgency regarding this ever-important quest. And as such, they might, in their own unintentional (or perhaps not) way, occasionally hijack the process. One such […]
When Toddler Dreams Come True.
Last Saturday, we took Noah and Ali to A Day Out with Thomas. We were cautiously thrilled for a redo, since we took Ali when she was two, and she had a severe form of Baby-PMS that day. In an attempt to do things as opposite as possible as we had done with Ali (to […]
The Close of, and The Best of Yittle Fings.
On my now somewhat defunct tertiary blog (this being the primary blog, Alabama Bloggers being secondary, and B-Sides being tertiary,) the best thing I ever did was run a series of forty-seven posts called Yittle Fings. Spanning from July 2009 to August 2012, I recorded all of the most funny, ridiculous, random, and profound things […]
The Dark Underbelly of Toddlerhood.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE FCC: THIS POST IS RATED FOR INAPPROPRIATE YET CONTEXTUAL FOUL TODDLER LANGUAGE AND AN UNNECESSARILY HIGH NUMBER OF REFERENCES TO POO. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. There are things that you don’t want to know about last week. Those things have kept me from having the time to have original thought (and therefore […]
My Kinda Funny But More Like Really Awkward Valentine.
“Boys and their mothers have a different relationship than girls and their mother. It’s just…special. You’ll see.” Mommies everywhere began telling me that in their most misty-eyed, cherish-every-moment voices when we found out that we would be having a boy. I was skeptical, because I understood girls. I “got” girls. And I was nervous about […]