To fully understand the story of what happened to my hand, you must first have an understanding of where I live. Our neighborhood is adjacent to a very prestigious suburb of Birmingham. We have no pretenses that our adjacency makes us included in any way – we are unincorporated, not belonging to any city. Which […]
I’m Taking a Sick Day.
And unfortunately, I can’t blame this one on sleepwalking. Bruised bones, compressed tendons, and some awesomely nasty swelling. As soon as I figure out how to effectively type again (and change diapers and carry a baby and fix meals, and, and, and…), I will be sure to share the story. But until then, it’s your […]
The Elevator Incident.
So my friend Christen and I went to the mall on Wednesday. …along with our two strollers and five kids. …ages 4, 3, 2, 10 months, and 8 months. (Each child, by the way, adds degree of difficulty points in the classical mall game Avoid the Kiosk Predators.) We began by eating Chick-Fil-A – our […]
It’s Like Doing Laundry With A Baby…
The following is a true story. Unless there are any segments which you find to be terrible acts of parenting. In that case, those parts aren’t true. 3:29 PM: Mommy settles into laundry closet, with Baby in tow, to attempt to fold one load of laundry. 3:30: Baby picks up and eats a piece of […]
Brought to You By The Letter X, for X-Ray.
It’s only fitting that I begin this post the way my phone call to Chris started out. “Everybody is OKAY. However…” I blame it all on Noah. You see, he chose to wear his X-Ray Jammies Tuesday night. … and I didn’t realize that this was an ominous premonition on his part. Wednesday morning. I […]
On Being All Set.
The following inner dialogue occurred Friday morning, directly after my second trip in three days to the Pediatrician’s office. I drove around to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru window for like the ninety-dozenth time in the past three weeks…she gave me my order and then perkily chirped, “Here’s your large coke and your small lemonade! You’re all […]
The Day He Received His Third Nipple.
Chris, upon changing Noah’s clothes for bed… “Um, how did Noah get a third nipple?” Well, you see, it’s a long story, babe. It all started with a successful mall trip. Too successful, really – I should have been suspicious of the trouble headed my way. I had managed to make it to two stores […]
The Nature Channel Presents: The Blogger in Peril.
See the indigenous blogger, trapped like a ravenous wild dog in a one foot cage, slowly losing her mind. See her as she begins talking to her child’s balloon, wishing in vain that it was a Volleyball with a face painted on it. This blogger is on her third day of having no power. This […]
Just Because You’re Paranoid…
…doesn’t mean they’re not really out to get you. Or at least that’s what my Dad used to tease me with during the days of my overly-suspicious youth. I received a text last night. A nasty one. It was from a number I’d never seen before, out of state, and all it said was, “Parent […]
What I Learned at BlogHer.
I decided to attend my third BlogHer at the last minute to go to one event: The Voices of the Year Reception. Even though I wasn’t chosen as a speaker (thank goodness because my nerves couldn’t have handled it), being an Honoree was so exciting, and I had promised myself last year that if I […]