Hello…so I’ve been gone for a minute. Probably the longest minute I’ve been gone in the 13 years I’ve been writing here (an anniversary that passed during my absence. Happy anniversary, self!) So you remember last fall when I introduced you to Karen Walker… She was my special friend, that lovely ovarian cyst that was […]
Things You Don’t Want to See In The Woods.
“Because you don’t want to be alone in the woods and run into some random guy with an axe….” These are the things girls say jokingly to each other when setting out for a trail run together. However, I run in the woods alone fairly regularly, and when I do, my mantra is more like […]
An Education of the Wild Yeasts.
In my thirty-six years on this planet, two things have completely eluded me: Jury Duty and Sourdough Starters. Although not even being considered to sit on a John-Grisham-worthy international espionage trial did bother me, being left out of the sourdough club disturbed me at a more intrinsic level. I was beginning to think that all […]
Give me a T… Give Me an M… Give me an I!
Disclaimer: This post is graphic and most likely not for people of the male persuasion. Unless they’re the overly-curious type. But I recommend they close this window and run screaming like a boy. Secondary Husband Disclaimer: I let Rachel blog about my vasectomy, and this post is sort of similar, but girly. Seriously, this blog […]
A True Story About Swimsuit Shopping.
There are few things as panic-inducing as getting stuck in a swimsuit in a dressing room. It should also be noted that all swimsuit dressing rooms are rigged. Their mirrors are always without a doubt the fattest mirrors ever created*, and are hung at a downward angle to make you look four foot six. The […]
Cherries, Take Me Away.
My life has been the definition of “train wreck” lately. Nothing devastating or life-changing – no worries. Just a constant onslaught of sicknesses and injuries and roadblocks and traumatic doctor visits. The upside is, they often make good blog posts. Y’all have read about some of them, but I haven’t written about a lot of […]
If My Life Were a Children’s Book.
Friday If you want to get a haircut, you ask your Mother-In-Law to come watch the kids. If your Mother-in-Law comes to watch the kids, your youngest is sure to ham it up and play especially sick. If your youngest hams it up and plays especially sick, she will tell you he didn’t get off […]
The Stages of FaceTune Guilt.
A few weeks ago, I discovered this amazing new app. I actually think Apple tempted me with it. Somehow they suggested it to me – I don’t remember where, but I do clearly remember the wording. “Wondering how all your friend’s selfies are so amazing? This is what they’re using.” I was intrigued, because all […]
Things In Which You Shouldn’t Run.
Okay. So I wear leggings as pants. Clearly, that came as a terrible shock to many of you – at least based on the comments, the Facebook conversations, and the in-real-life justifications I’ve had to offer since making my grand admission. So, in an effort to regain your confidence, I’d like to present you with […]