Guest Post by Chief Husband and Contributing Writer Chris.

I’m not really picky when it comes to coffee.

I like the Keurig.

I like independent coffee shops like Seeds, Church Street, and small chains like O’Henry’s.

I like coffee all the way up to Fresh Ground Central American Fair Trade Environmentally Sustainable Politically Non-Controversial Organic French Press at an artisan chocolate lounge. (36oz = $5!)

I like Waffle House black coffee.

I like gas station cappuccino that chemically could not hold another grain of sugar or salt without becoming a solid.

I pretty much only draw the line at stale afternoon office coffee. Or maybe not.

But this isn’t about those coffees. It’s a tale of 2 big chains, branded very differently, both enjoyable, and truthfully, increasingly polarized like America itself.

I profiled them both, and their bios read like Miss America Round 1 intro speeches, but here you go:

(They really read better with a hand on your hip, your head tilted to the side, and perky.)

[Major Chain # 1]

I am Cautiously Sophisticated.

I’m an independent thinker and environmentally conscious, to a point… Don’t get crazy. *wink*

I am J Crew boots from the Thrift Store.

I’m high-end good *smile*, but not pretentious bad *frown*.

I use fancy words like Venti, Dolce, Machiatto, and even “secret” words like Trenta.

I have Gold Cards and Stars and my App works great!

My cup is simple and refined. I have a perfectly flat rim, and silky smooth sleeve.

What could be better in major chain coffee?


Starbucks Coffee As compared to Dunkin Donuts


Well, coffee people, there’s a chain relatively new to Birmingham that comes unashamed with Teva Flip Flops on, and it is slowly stealing my heart.


[Major Chain # 2]

I have jelly-filled donuts and smoked sausage biscuits, and you don’t need that. But it’s there.

My cup rim is gently curved, and sits in your happy mouth like it was born that way.

My sleeve is puffy and tactile and loves to be held.

I call the big one Large.

I have delicious latte flavors with unpretentious names, like Butter Pecan and Brown Sugar Cinnamon.

Sure, my App is buggy. But who cares?

My coffee is delicious, and costs 35% less. With a better sleeve. And a better rim.


Dunkin Donuts Coffee


Dunkin is coming for you America. *wink*

21 thoughts on “The Truth is Brewing.

  1. I worked at a Bux for awhile. I am slightly picky about coffee. I think DD’s brewed coffee is better than Sbux and definitely cheaper :)

  2. Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Coffee in the fall/winter! My favorite thing! And they sell a big bag of DD Pumpkin Coffee at Costco for like $15 or something.

    That is all.

    1. It also comes in k-cups. I stock up in the fall! In fact that was a Christmas present from my husband. 2 boxes Pumpkin K-cup coffee. And no I didn’t share!

  3. I am a new DD coffee lover. I also like their tea. They opened one across from campus and I like that it is cheaper and better than Starbucks (to me anyway).

  4. Wawa coffee, the best. But that is a northeast thing, slowly invading the south. It is good and cheap. By then again I like my store brand k cups!

  5. I’ve never had a hot coffee at Dunkin’, but I don’t think their iced/frozen coffee drinks can compete with Starbucks. They make up for it with those awesome blueberry cake donuts, though.

  6. LMAO! Hilarious. As a non-coffee drinker (it gives me heart palpitations – Yikes!) I love to sit back and watch the feuding. I am a Chai Tea Latte drinker and I will say Starbucks has my allegiance there. However, I credit Dunkin Donuts for the sweet wonderfulness that is my first child. I had a donut and/or waffle breakfast sandwich every DAY during my 3rd trimester with her. mmmm…donuts.

  7. The Dunkin’ Donuts coffee I’ve had over here in England has been baaaaad! But maybe it’s better where you are…

    I will drink anything, but I prefer a nice independant cafe if possible.

  8. Haha, I don’t think we have Dunkin’ Donuts up here, but I do have fond memories of them from my Southern childhood. :) Krispy Kreme is the only donut chain around up here, and Starbucks is King of coffee, but I guess that makes sense since it started in Seattle.

    1. I love Tim Hortons coffee, but I think we need to wait a while before it becomes a phenomenon in the US like it is in Canada.

  9. I’m a Starbucks girl. Their drinks are perfectly blended that I don’t have to add any more sugar than what they put in the drink I order. DD on the other hand, I can’t seem to order my coffee right so I don’t have to “fix” it later. Maybe I need a lesson in how to order.

  10. I like DD! And I refuse to use those ridiculous size names at Starbucks. I order small, medium, large and make the “barista” figure it out.

  11. I love DD coffee! We don’t have any of their physical stores, so I buy their coffee at Wal-Mart. My favorite flavors are the Mocha Mint and Chocolate Donut. Yum!

  12. There’s a Starbucks (sorry, I don’t abbreviate the name. That’d almost be a Seattle/Northwest sacrilege), on almost every street corner in the Seattle ‘burbs where I live. Seriously, I think there are about 15 within a 5 mile radius of my house. I think there’s something like over 400 Starbucks just in the city of Seattle alone. Dunkin’ Donuts on the other hand, there are none at all to be found in the Puget Sound area where I live. So I think it can be said that Starbucks is pretty safe from competition in the city of its birth. I was not a coffee drinker until just recently, and because of the strong influence of Starbucks, I’ve developed a pretty picky and snooty taste rather quickly. But I’d be curious to try DD coffee to see how it compares. The only way I could do that though, would be to buy a bag of the stuff from Walmart, and I’m pretty sure if I brought home something like that, my husband would probably divorce me. :)

  13. Dunkin donuts is a Boston way of life. I live in Quincy, home of the original Dunkin donuts. They have awesome iced coffee..Starbucks is better for sitting around in for 2 hours chatting with a friend though.. Iid post a photo of the first dunkies here if I could figure out how…

  14. Please don’t deny yourself a dunkin FROZEN coffee any longer! It is highly addictive and much better than a frappuccino.

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