Just Peel It.

 

Last week while we were at the beach, we went out to eat. I added a side salad to my dinner as I sometimes do. When it arrived, I went through my all-too-familiar Cycle of Salad Emotions.

CYCLE OF SALAD EMOTIONS

…The ranch looks homemade and thin…happy!

…The tomatoes aren’t completely juiceless crunchy tomato imposters…okay.

…There are no telltale carrot shreds, giving away the fact that they just poured my salad from a bag. RELIEF.

…But oh. The cucumbers. The sad, sad, cucumbers. WHY the peels?? Do they WANT to ruin my night?

…Disappointment.

…Anger.

…Resentment.

…Removal of Cucumbers out of protest. Maybe they’ll notice and realize their grave sins against humanity.

…But at least the Ranch is good.

I vocalized a bit of my inner dialogue to our friends across the table. And I was shocked. SHOCKED I say. To find out that my friends did not feel the same way.

They said that they were indifferent as to whether cucumber slices were peeled or not.

My mind screamed at them.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE?? WHERE IS YOUR MORAL COMPASS?! YOU ARE PARENTING YOUNG CHILDREN AND THIS IS YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM??

My world had been shattered. Surely there weren’t really these kind of people roaming around freely. Surely they were just attempting to tear down my carefully built ideals and rip apart my soul.

It was time for another survey to restore my belief in humanity. So I asked you.

I knew you would agree with me. You would be on my side in this crucial issue. You would understand the importance of a properly peeled cucumber slice.

But instead. You were the Judas Iscariot of Salads.

Almost all one hundred and fifty of you came together and stomped on my heart.

Who Eats Unpeeled Cucumbers

How. HOW HOW HOW could 61% of you have Cucumbic Apathy?!

I understand that it is perfectly natural for 20% of the population to dislike a certain food and even that 12 of you would statistically be clinically insane.

(Seriously. Only people in padded rooms and straight jackets while singing in a monotone voice about Muskrat Love would actually prefer cucumber peels.)

But those of you who just don’t care. You were the ones who broke me.

I had no idea that apathy had escalated so rapidly in our nation. It’s one thing not to care about politics or education or world peace.

But to not care about whether your cucumber slices are naked as God intended or not?!

WHAT is WRONG with you people?

YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR THE STATE OF OUR NATIONAL SALAD.

Because nothing will ever change as long as 61% of you don’t give a peel.

And in the meantime, heinous cucumber peels will continue to worm their way between my teeth and cut into my gums like a dull razor blade while tasting like the bitter herb of betrayal.

And I will know who to blame.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. I support peeling the cucumber!! And also chopping it up. I don’t like giant thick wheels of cucumber (esp unpeeled!) in my salad. But to be honest I typically get ceasar or wedge so that solves that problems. :)

  2. David Livingston says:

    As long as they washed the cuke then the peels are fine, in fact they are good for you and good for your colon health.

    It has the most nutrients of the entire cuke and the skin is known to reduce heartburn.

  3. Carrot shreds don’t mean they poured your salad out of a bag. At our deli, we shred a carrot with a vegetable peeler and add that to our freshly chopped lettuce..

    Cucumber peels are good for you and taste fine. Why would you mind them? At our deli, we partially peel our cucumbers. We wash them, then cut 4 strips off the peel (along the length of the cucumbers) so that it has a pretty pattern. Then we slice it up. That is the way the previous owners have done it for years, and I have never really thought about it (although when I am in a hurry I don’t bother to peel them at all.)

    I have not ever heard a customer complain about their peels or lack thereof. I will have to ask my employees now!

  4. Peel the waxy bitter cuke skin. The good stuff is on the inside! I also put mine aside in protest…and I love a cucumber, but only a properly peeled one.

  5. My father refuses to eat cucumbers…says it’s the only food a hog won’t eat, and if it’s not good enough for a hog, it’s not good enough for him! I prefer my cucumbers peeled, but I won’t skip them if they aren’t (sorry Rachel!).

  6. Stephanie says:

    Sorry to say that I am one of the cucumber-neutral: I eat them if they are there, and I don’t care if they’re peeled or unpeeled. The Great Betrayer of Salads for me is feta cheese, and every fast food place seems to have jumped on board the feta train in the last year or so. I picked up a formerly-delicious salad from Chik-Fil-A the other day, expecting delicious grilled chicken and fresh fruit. And they were there…but all covered in a layer of disgusting, rotten-smelling cheese. I never though Chik-Fil-A would betray me.

    • The Garden Salad? That has bleu cheese. Don’t put feta in such terrible company. Although I will admit I’ve been in a bit of a feta-averse stage (don’t tell my Greek family), I live a bleu-averse life.

  7. Qoumidan says:

    For what it’s worth, while I don’t care in restaurants, I do care at home and always peel them completely. My 6yr old son has followed me in this and will not eat them unpeeled at home but usually will in a restaurant. They are a favorite snack of his.

  8. Kitty Engle says:

    I also do not peel potatoes ever, apples, peaches, and squash. Hmm better watch out if I ever actually cook for you.

  9. Lol, I must have missed this FB poll. I’m in the “don’t care for them anyway” section. It’s weird, I hate cucumbers but love Zucchini and they are so similar. And I leave the peel on the zucchini because isn’t that where the nutrients are in most vegetables??

  10. Speaking for “man”-kind, I find most dudes either hate them and forgo them entirely or just consume them however they’re prepared. I prefer the skin on just about everything because it’s good fiber. If prepared at home though I scrub the crap out of those suckers to get all the wax off.

  11. barbara says:

    aside from the waxiness, there’s also the fact that those cukes have been sprayed with god-knows-what and probably haven’t even been washed well enough to be eaten. yuck! i also put them aside. but the worst are the ones that are peeled in stripes. IN STRIPES, PEOPLE! they actually had the peeler in their hands and only peeled half the cucumber. what is that all about???

  12. Cucumbers….Yuck ! The only way I’ll eat them is a dill pickle. I love dill pickles!

  13. Those tiny little cutie cukes are yummy! My daughter just eats them whole. I don’t mind the peel, if they are smallish in size, homegrown or organic. And very well scrubbed. I don’t like the big fat ones mostly because of the seeds! They can be hard and crunchy.

  14. I peel at home if it’s store-bought, but only because of the wax. I always feel guilty because I know I’m throwing out most of the nutrients. After I discovered the joy of home-grown, I eat the peels of those because they’re softer and not waxy. If I’m at a restaurant, I’ll eat it wither way. HOWEVER, the real answer we need to know is do you eat the seeds? I ALWAYS cut them out, because they cause … ahem … gastrointestinal distress. I wonder what the waiters think about my little leftover slimy seed sections, but it don’t care. :)

  15. I don’t mind so much at home, because I can control how clean the outside of the cucumber is, but restaurant cucumbers should ALWAYS be peeled.

  16. I don’t mind unpeeled cukes as long as they’re sliced thin. But when they’re super thick it becomes a texture issue for me. I buy the thin-skinned cucumbers to use at home, no peeling required and they look pretty. :-)

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