Inside the Mind of a First Grader.

Ali is guest-posting for me today.


(Yes, there are two bows plus arrows in her apron. If you want to complain, I wouldn’t.)

Anyway. Here are some literary masterpieces that I’ve found lying around the house lately that she’s graciously allowed me to share.


One day two lite’s played.
Anathor lite came and toled them to be friendly and come togethor.
They did not want to and the other lite left.
2 years later….
They becam friends!
The End.

That totally should have been a Beatles verse.

Speaking of song lyrics, they’re often inexplicably documented at our house.

Henry Hugglemonster

It’s a brand new days in rorsvil
The flawrs smel swit and her comes a monster you rele wont to mete.
His name is Henry and as you can see
He’s got a rili rorsom famole.
Hay hay hay have a henry hugl monster day
Hay hay hay have a henry hugl monster day
Wen thengs or going rolng and everytheng sems gray
Henry huglmonsteor can olways find a way
Hay hay hay have a Henry Hugl Monstor Day!

I think the basic idea is that when it hasn’t been your day or week or even your year, Henry Hugglemonster’ll be there. For you.

She heard this song one time, in a Christmas production, and hasn’t stopped singing it yet.


Welcoe to the place I will sing my song
I can-not wat to sing it to you
O no I cant wat to sing my song here it
Holy, Holy, Holy,
God is coming ner
Onto us a saveyer is born
On a midnite clear
Holy holy holy
God is coming ner
Onto us a savyors born
On a midnite clear
Ho-ly Ho-ly Ho-ly
God is coming ner
Onto us a savyor is born
On a midnit clear.
The End…

…And just when you think it’s over, you turn over the page…

Song End

This math answer, considering the information given, makes complete sense.


Did they ask “how many weeks of the year”? No. They said how many weeks. We’d need to know the exact age of the earth and the dates of any climatological events that might have changed Norway’s sun situation to answer this inane question.

Other great school finds recently have included this cheery reading passage:


(This turns out to be “good news” because the sailor had been making fun of them…clearly the author’s gift wasn’t mercy.)

We also found this fantastic moral reminder, which I hope Ali remembers when she starts dating.


Sometimes we all need the opportunity to make a confession. Ali finds that writing hers is most effective.


I droped a tamato on my dress on purpus
And then siad: What am I doing?
Then jest cepe watching TV.
Name: Ali Callahan Age: 7
Favorite Color: Pink

I have no idea why her favorite color needed to be brought into that crime, but I’m sure she does.

I got sick in November with laryngitis and stayed sick with a various concoction of bugs until the end of January. I could tell that Ali thought I was dying, because she would give me these sad little hugs and leave lots of loving notes (illustrated with sunsets) laying around for me to find.

This was my favorite.


Dear Mommy
I love you sooooo
ooo much I like dowing craft’s
with you and you roeding wimey kid
I hope you get beter
love Ali

The disturbing part of the note was the missing “soon” after “I hope you get better.”

Then again, I guess it’s best to set one’s expectations low.

On to another story.


Ons apan a time a fiary went to see here friend’s
They herd a suond
it was a monster!
They ran and ran and ran and ran
Tile tha lost him.
The End.

Sometimes a simple story is best.

Other times, it’s better to get the long-term picture.


One’s apan a time a lake was with no island
Suddunly a tiny tiny island startid to form
It grew biger and bigger
tile it was big anaf to billd 10 ten houses
pepole ol over the world started to liv thare and bilding housis

I love a good cliffhanger.

No, no I don’t. I need closure.