This post is supported and endorsed by two wedding planners.

We need to talk about an alarming trend that is spreading like Kardashians and certain to bring doom to our nation if not addressed.

Slovenly Dressed Wedding Photographers.

At the last several weddings I’ve attended, I’ve been horrified by cutoff shorts, yoga pants, t-shirts, holey jeans, and various other completely inappropriate clothing worn by male and female professional photographers who were paid multiple thousands of dollars to photograph the most important event in the life of two people.

Aforementioned wedding planners immediately blacklist photographers such as these. And so should you.

At every wedding, my mind is screaming for Stacy and Clinton to jump out of a bush or a pew or a baptistery and strangle those clickers.

At one of my recent wedding attendances, the photographer was wearing a stained polo shirt that had shrunk to three inches above his waistband (allowing his belly to enjoy the festivities as well), and his well-worn Levi’s crotch was hanging to his knees.

Not the most subtle of photographers (and with no zoom lens on his person), he actually walked backwards down the aisle in front of the bride. Or should I say stooped backwards. In his own disturbing version of the bend and snap, he offered the added service of a full moon to the grandparents on the front row.

Wedding MooningI resurrected my mad Draw Something skills for this one, with encouragement from JC Little, who can be found actually drawing at The Animated Woman.

I ran into this photographer again during the reception, where instead of taking photographs, he was sampling the dessert table. I watched as he and his photographer cohorts had the following exchange:

(Slovenly Dressed Head Photographer picks up a Cake Ball.) “What IS this thing?”

“I don’t know, man – some kind of dessert.”

“I can’t tell what’s inside it…” (He pulls it to nose level to sniff and see what lies beneath) “OH – it has a cherry inside! I don’t want that!”


Not onto the plate of un-violated cake balls, thank the Lord above – just onto the beautiful burlap tablecloth – and there it laid, cluttering the lovely setting like a symbol of his contribution to the event.

Okay – so this particular photographer might have some professional issues needing to be addressed other than his attire. But no one can help a Cake Ball Thrower – so let’s just discuss the fashion issue.

1. You are a professional. You are doing your job in front of hundreds of people – people who might even hire you for their upcoming nuptials. Nobody wants to see the top of your Scooby Doo boxers, and especially not what lies beneath.

2. Everyone else at this event is in formal wear. The fact that you are working and not attending does not in any way excuse you from attempting to look like you belong.

3. YOU ARE AT THE FRONT OF THE ALTAR AS THE BRIDE IS TAKING HER MARCH. Don’t ruin her moment of joy by making her look past your bare belly to see her glowing groom!!

Now. Let’s discuss the excuses that you might offer as to why you feel like your slovenly choices are okay.

1. Outdoor weddings in Alabama. I understand – it’s hot here. Really hot. And sticky. However, the bride is wearing fifty pounds of lace and satin and the groom has donned three layers of sun-magnetizing black – I think you can make it in a little more clothing than Daisy Dukes.

2. Bending and stooping. Yes, your job requires flexibility and movement. However, we live in a wonderfully modern world with vast arrays of shockingly comfortable and bendy fabrics that are more formal than your yoga pants covered in cat hair.

3. You’re working, not attending. Although this is true, you are the most visible “employee” of this shindig, other than the pastor himself. And notice that he’s wearing a full suit, pocket triangle and all. Your crotch dragging the ground is really putting a damper on the tears of joy that we all want to be holding back. It is worth looking good while you do a good job.

So brides. If you don’t want your special day soiled by the one person that thinks they’re safe because they won’t be in any photos, then instead of looking at your photographer’s portfolio of wedding photography, request to see pictures of your photographer photographing weddings. If you see butt-crack, run.

And for the record – that cake ball did not have a cherry in it.

27 thoughts on “Wedding Crashers.

  1. I totally agree with you. And just for the record, I imagined Smee (from Peter Pan and Jake and the Neverland Pirates) taking that bride’s photos. hahaha.
    It is a true sign of the times we live in. People are LAZY!! We were at the funeral home for someone recently. I noticed this and came to the conclusion that people really will wear anything, anywhere these days! What are they thinking? Clearly, they are not thinking at all.

  2. I have done wedding photos before. I am not a professional. If I am not a guest who happens to be asked to do protography as well (in that case I wear what I would normally wear to a wedding and just do pictures in that getup) I wear black dress pants that are comfortably loose (allowing for movement bending, kneeling etc) but still tailored, and a simple black shirt or tank top that is a little dressy by not to outlandish. I dont want to stick out. For a summer wedding ive seen photographers wear simple dress khakis with a light cotton blouse or dress shirt, you dont have be all dressy, you want to blend in, but you also cant look like you just came from the gym!!

  3. I think wedding photographers need to be as unobtrusive as possible–black pants and shirt would be perfect. And really, bellies and/or bums hanging out isn’t appropriate anywhere. Not even Walmart.

  4. Strangely I’ve seen the very opposite. I was once in a wedding where the photographer was wearing a full length red beaded evening gown. She looked as if she stepped off the stage of an 80’s beauty pageant. It was a fairly informal wedding ( in fact my husband calls it the redneck cowboy wedding) she was more formally dressed than the bride.

  5. Oh NO! How horrible!! I have photographed 5 or 6 outdoor weddings in the last couple years and my rule is if you don’t know what else to wear, or how dressy the occasion will be, wear all black! There’s always lots of bedding and stooping, so I have to wear my not-so-fashionable, but very comfy shoes, but do your hair, wear makeup (or have a neatly groomed face) and wear layers so you don’t moon or flash anyone!! There is almost always some sort of arch or decor at the front- use it to HIDE and you can get some great angles and pics of the bride and groom’s faces. There is actually such a thing now as photographer’s pants if you can’t figure out anything else. C’mon people.

  6. Maybe he was a relative of the bride and his services were free? Of course, even free I wouldn’t want to see that at my wedding. And I definitely would not want to pay big bucks for somebody who behaves that way at my wedding.

    When you say “that cake ball didn’t have a cherry in it”, I’m assuming you made an assumption after eating a similar cake ball and didn’t actually try the discarded cake ball, right? :-)

  7. Wow I did not realize how grateful I should have been that my photographer wore a suit! This is so awful! I can’t imagine what the bride was thinking. I’m sure the thought didn’t even cross her mind to worry about what the photographer would be wearing! Goodness sake.

    1. A suit is impressive, actually – that is restrictive.

      And really, I’ve been thinking back, thirteen years ago…. And I was so happy when my wedding was over and done with and out of my hair, I probably wouldn’t have cared if the minister had mooned the crowd. So maybe it’s not that bad after all.

    1. Just adding here that I’m grateful you decided to depict this particular angle of the offending photographer. This way we get the reaction of the grandparents without having to actually appreciated the moon ourselves. You are merciful in your illustrations!

  8. Aaaaaack! One of my biggest pet peeves. The photographers at a close friend’s wedding didn’t dress very professionally either. Better than the bum-flashing guy but still…

    You know what else drives me crazy is it seems anyone these days can pick up a camera and call themselves a photographer. Anyone can “take pictures” but being a professional photographer requires a lot of technical skill. Weddings especially.

  9. My sister just got married last month and I noticed the same thing! I even said something to the head photographer as I stood in the back. The two video guys (only because the groom’s parents couldn’t attend because of ill health) looked like crap – jeans, tennies, sloppy t-shirts. I said, shocked, to the head photographer, who didn’t look so great herself, that they were at a wedding and they should be dressed appropriately. I was really angry at how sloppy and unprofessional they looked.

  10. Shocking behavior…sigh
    However, a good wedding planner will help point you in the direction of fab photographers who also dress and behave appropriately! Wink wink!
    But seriously, it DOES help to get references, or at least a verbal from another bride who has used a wedding pro before…also stalking said wedding “pro” on Facebook is a great tool! I have a bride who recently stalked a caterer in question on FB before making her decisions, and we are really glad she did so! Could have been disastrous.

  11. Oh my goodness! I can’t believe that particular photographer (in addition to all of the others) did that and dressed that way. My family photographer asked me what I would like for her to wear to my Son’s 1st birthday party that I had her photograph (to which I told her something comfortable and nice) and she showed up appropriately dressed. I wonder what the bride and groom where thinking when they hired that guy? Or did anyone tell him that it was bad form at ALL during the event? I hope he doesn’t get good reviews from her but I do hope he took good photos!

  12. True story – we went to a wedding (an extravagant 10-20k kinda deal) where one of the photographers had on a translucent skirt and top with no bra. I was completely dismayed.

    All this leads me to believe there’s a disorder affecting brides, as our friend was oblivious to the peep show roaming around among guests. Thankfully, the temp was cool enough after dark that she put on a jacket.

    But seriously – how is this outfit ever a good idea???

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