Snoop Mommy-Mom.

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My husband required me to title my post by that name if I was going to show this picture.

So there you have it.

(And no. That is a completely legit breathing treatment.)

Last week, I got the pleasure of visiting many doctor’s offices. Besides still struggling with my eyes, I’ve had some other somewhat scary symptoms and happenings, and so I’ve been trying to track down the root cause.

(All while not barraging you all with vaguely dramatic tweets and statuses. You’re welcome.)

Last Sunday, I had my first visit, where I saw a lovely foreign doctor who ended up being a worse decision than looking up my own symptoms on WebMD. After doing blood work and giving me an EKG, he ended our time together with,

“I am not certain what is to be wrong with you. But the number of tests we can be allowed to do on the weekends are limited. So if you get worse, you should go to the emergency room…Eet coold be Pulmonary Embolism – you know, a clot in your lung? Or perhaps Hyperthyroidism. Or something else. Okay? I would call our office tomorrow and get an appointment with another doctor.”

Yes, he actually recommended I see someone OTHER THAN HIMSELF.

So I did.

On Wednesday, I spent a fantastic two hours at the doctor.

(The fantastic in this visit was brought to you by the presence of my two year old.)

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We watched a lot of tractor videos on my phone, I tried to keep him off the floor (Praying that no one with tuberculosis had been in the room) and out of the drawers (praying that there were no sharp objects housed within), and of course, we played with the stirrups.

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Why do general practitioners have stirrups? Nevermind.

On Friday, I saw a specialist, where I found some fantastic signs, such as this one left over from 1986,

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(Ah, the good old days of Custom Conversions…)

And this one.

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(But feel free to block the elevator button with anything else.)

I also discovered that you can actually check a box for “Belching.”

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Which is when I considered donating my appointment to my husband.

At the moment, I’ve been diagnosed with Adult Onset Asthma, and am still having some other tests run (I get to stick electrodes to myself and wear a heart monitor this week – yay!), but I’m okay. I’m nearly positive that nothing is horribly wrong with me. Most of the time.

But because of all that, I got like…oh, at least a week behind in writing.

Which is why you’re getting this pitiful excuse for a post.

So as I try to get caught up on my writing and my inbox and my dishes and find my train of thought somewhere around here, it’s your turn to tell me about you.

I attempt to have a “your turn” post at least once a year, because I absolutely adore getting to know each and every one of you.

After all, what’s the fun of blogging if it’s not two-way?

So today, whether you’ve never commented, commented once in 2008, or comment every week, I want you to tell me the following – answer whichever questions you want (or all of them if you’re feeling especially jolly.)

1. What state (or province or country) do you live in?
2. What is the most bizarre or interesting thing that ever happened to you, or at least that comes to mind when asked by a blogger?
3. What is the best television show, book, or movie that was ever made?
4. What was your least favorite subject in school? (Elementary, middle, high, or college – you pick.)
5. If you’re done having kids, what name do you regret not getting to use on an offspring?

Here I am now. Entertain me.