Chris felt very cheated during my first pregnancy. He was oddly, yet very excitedly looking forward to me tapping him on the arm in the middle of the night, telling him that I just HAD to have three soft taco supremes with extra sour cream from Taco Bell right now, and him jumping out of bed, racing to Taco Bell, and fulfilling all of my pregnancy needs and desires.

But I never *really* craved anything with Ali.

Sure, I had my likes and dislikes, but I never HAD TO HAVE something RIGHT NOW, especially not at 3 am.

He felt totally gypped.

I kept telling him that the concept was much more romantic than the actual event, and I’m sure it would totally be annoying to be woken up in the middle of the night and sent to Taco Bell, but it didn’t relieve his perceived experiential lack.

(He also felt gypped that he didn’t get to race me to the hospital at 120 mph with his hazard lights on, screaming out the window “MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY!!! MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY!!!!”. It’s really a shame that I am such a disappointment as a (pregnant) wife.)

This time around, though, I’ve been much more in NEED of things, and he’s gotten to pick me up some cravings, albeit not in the middle of the night. Yet.

But last week, I had to figure out my own craving.

It was 11pm, and we were laying on the couch watching TV, procrastinating from going to bed.

All of a sudden, I sat straight up.

“I need Red Licorice. Red Licorice Super Ropes. The really long ones. Now.”

“Okay. Where do I go get them?”

“They quit selling them everywhere years ago. They may have quit making them, just like they did all of my other childhood red licorice favorites because I am apparently the only person in the entire world that loves the stuff, the evil candy-makers.”

I immediately left the couch and searched Amazon. No luck – out of stock.

I Googled it. A few random candy companies came up, so I started trying to figure out which was the most trustworthy.

(Not which was least likely to steal my credit card number and identity, but which was most likely to actually send me, as quickly as possible, my MUCH NEEDED RED LICORICE, identity theft or no.)

So I picked one and ordered, and, relieved, re-joined Chris on the couch.

“Did you buy it?”

“Yup, but I had to buy it in bulk.”

“So how many are you getting?”

“30 pieces…of 34 inch ropes.”

Chris pulls out his iPhone.

“That’s 1,020 inches of licorice…85 feet!!!”

“That sounds delicious.”

He starts googling 85 feet…

“That’s the width of a Hockey rink…the distance between bases on a baseball field…way longer than a bowling lane…and the LENGTH of a high school basketball court!!”

“Sounds even yummier.”

“Well, did you at least get expedited shipping so it’d get here faster?”

“Nope, just normal.”

“If it’s a craving, you should have gotten it overnighted!!”

Thank goodness I have an understanding husband.

So, after 6 days of excruciating red-licorice-filled thoughts and checking UPS tracking every few minutes and trying (unsuccessfully) to get Chris to drive to Montgomery, break into the UPS terminal, find my licorice and bring it back to fulfill all of his crave-hunting desires, my box finally arrived.

It was even worth the delicate operation I had to work out to get rid of an overly-full box of these banes-of-the-universe to unearth my prize:


And then, there it was.


My basketball court of red licorice.

The first bite was just as good as I had hoped, my entire childhood flooding back to my tastebuds.

I did a bit of math, and to make my 1,020 inches last through the rest of my pregnancy, I was allowed to have 5.66 inches a day.

Of course, the first 34 inch rope was gone in about 10 minutes.

Good thing I know where I can buy myself another candylicious basketball court.

But next time, I’ll tap Chris on the shoulder at 3 am and ask him to go order me some. With overnight shipping, of course.

19 thoughts on “A Craving Fulfilled.

  1. So funny!! I craved things from my childhood while I was pregnant too! PB & J and Orange Gatorade!!! Although thankfully, those were easier to find! Enjoy!!

  2. That is so funny. My 3 pregnancies did not result in any cravings per se. I liked eating apples with our oldest and chocolate with the youngest.

  3. That made me laugh, I am glad you had your craving fullfilled, and I couldn't help but notice it was fat free so you won't have to worry about any extra pounds from the many feet of candy :)

  4. Wow, not that is a big craving. And that is a lot of licorice.

    I did have cravings while pregnant, but it was when I was first breastfeeding it was the worst. I wanted OJ and brownies. I had to have them together. Not mixed together, just with each other. There was no explaining it.

  5. Too funny!

    I also suffered from a total lack of pregnancy cravings. The one time I did send my husband out for something (Subway Veggie Delight) he actually got mugged on the way home. Valiantly protecting my sandwich, he punched the mugger and ran all the way home where he was awarded instant hero status and a free pass from getting me any more craving food in the middle of the night.

    During breastfeeding however, I used to sit at home, just me and the baby, nursing and crying (literally crying tears of sadness) because I really wanted a chicken parm sandwich and didn't have one. Weird. Apparently the hormones erased my memory of all the places that will deliver chicken parm sandwiches to your door.

  6. I only craved tomatoe/V8 juice one of the first weeks and my mother & maternal grandmother said that was the only craving they both ever had while pregnant as well. Weird, huh?

    I love that the licorice is, "Playable"! Maybe you and Ali could literally jump rope.

  7. That is hilarious that you have that much licorice!

    I don't remember any cravings with Luke, but with Aubrey I craved biscuits & gravy, but not just any biscuits & gravy, it had to be from Hardee's. Growing up my grandparents used to always get us biscuits & gravy from Hardee's, so I guess that's where the craving came from. Ryan never had to get up in the middle of the night to go get me some, but he did drive a pretty good distance one day to satisfy my craving…Hardee's is pretty hard to find these days!

  8. Lol! You crack me up! I don't think I even would have thought of ordering candy off the Internet. So funny.

    With my first pregnancy I had cravings almost every single day. Sort of…I could only eat one food each day and once I ate it I couldn't eat it again. Like one day all I would want was macaroni and cheese, if I ate anything else I would start gagging, and once I had eaten it and fulfilled my craving, if I tried to eat it again in the next month or so I would start gagging.

    It was bizzare, and it was a lot of work to figure out what would or would not make me gag each day. Thankfully that didn't happen the second time around. Haha:)

  9. My cravings were hamburgers from McDonalds. Crazy but I wanted one everyday. Somehow I ended up loosing 30 pounds while I was pregnant. I can't explain just glad I did. I still love a good hamburger to this day not so much the McDonald ones but a good homemade one.

  10. LOVE IT! I craved Quincy's Big Fat Yeast Rolls with honey butter when I was pregnant. Of course they have been out of biz for years around here, so I had to try to wing it and make some from scratch. FAIL.

    I never did get that craving successfully fulfilled. :(

  11. Mmmm – I love red licorice too. Sadly it contains wheat so this is one craving I wouldn't be able to indulge. When I was pregnant practically my only craving was for triscuits and processed cheese. Yech! I indulged the cheese but obviously couldn't have the triscuits (also contain wheat). Drove my husband crazy whining about it :)

  12. btw they sold them at Sam's Club just last year… I got some for my sons class for his birthday… they may still carry them, then you wouldn't have to wait for shipping :)

  13. This whole situation is just… adorable. I love it. Oh, and I love red licorice. Twizzlers are the easy standby…

Leave a Reply to Jill Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *