Toddlers are inappropriate. That’s all there is to it, and if you try to explain to them how they’re being inappropriate, it just makes it funnier and, therefore, more desirable behavior.
So, all you can do is hope for Best Case Scenario (BCS): That no one else is around so you can just enjoy the moment without feeling the burning shade of red creeping up through your cheeks.
This week, my BCS score is 2-1.
(I bet you thought this post had something to do with Football, didn’t you? You should know me better than that.)
BCS One: Sunday.
I mean really, what can you do with that but photograph it and hope it never happens outside of the house especially down the road at a College Toga party?
Yes, Bloomer Head consisted of running around the house screaming, “I’m a Bloomer Head!!!!” repeatedly.
Thank goodness she decided to do that AFTER Church, rather than me getting the pleasure of picking Bloomer Head up from Sunday School.
BCS Two: Wednesday.
We watched Tinkerbell, and at lunch, had the following conversation.
“I like it when Tinkerbell says ‘the Main Land is Titterific!!’”
“No baby, Tinkerbell says the Main Land is GLITTERIFIC. There’s a big difference.”
“Oh. Well, I like titterific. Let’s yell titterific together!! TItterific!! Titterific!!”
“No, I don’t think I want to yell titterific.”
“Umm…Let’s just say Glitterific.”
“I really like Titterific much better. Titterific!! Titterific!!”
“But Glitterific is talking about GLITTER. Isn’t that cooler?”
“I like Glitter….but I sure like Titterific.”
So please, if you hear my child screaming Titterific, please know that it came from TINKERBELL, not Showtime.
WCS One: Monday.
We were at the grocery store, and a lady with a VERY intricate hairdo consisting of a huge stack of small, perfectly coifed hair balls on top of her head (looking much like the Chiquita Grape Lady, if she ever decided to branch out to other fruits) was browsing nearby.
“MOMMY!!! LOOOK AT THAT LADY!!! SHE IS WEARING BLUEBERRIES ON HER HEAD!!!!!”
Yes, because Bloomers on your head is SO much better of a choice than blueberries.