Dear Imaginary Friends (that also go under the aliases of “The Girls” and “The Princesses”),
I understand that you are a normal part of childhood development, and I’m not freaked out by your presence. However, I’d like to set some ground rules with you.
1. Please don’t make my child cry because of how sad you are.
2. Especially right before naptime.
3. At said naptime, if I go downstairs to get you because you’re sad that you got left on the couch, please then hurry up and make up your mind once we get back upstairs as to whether you want to sleep in the floor or the bed. Quit being so wishy-washy.
4. And don’t change your mind once I leave the room.
5. You are ESPECIALLY not allowed to change your mind mid-nap, thereby waking Ali up to tell her that you need to be moved. By me.
6. Bottom Line: Naptime is a precious time. Don’t mess with it. Or you shall find yourself kicked out, sitting on my imaginary doorstep.
And no, I don’t care if you ARE princesses. You’re not running my household.
p.s. – please also quit tee-teeing in your imaginary big girl panties. Your imaginary pee makes an imaginarily horrible mess.