Okay. It’s not REALLY a secret. But it should be….because admitting this will surely and most deservedly make me the object of great scorn and derision.
Sometimes, Ali still gets a pacifier to sleep.
Yes, yes, I know I tried to take it away. But…
Here’s the deal: she’s three and a half years old, and still takes a 3+ hour nap. Which I desperately need her to continue doing, seeing as how I work two jobs and write three blogs almost solely during said naptime.
And, you see, although she goes to sleep without the paci, she wakes up halfway through her nap every day, at which point I give her the esteemed and most coveted oral device, and she goes instantaneously back to sleep, thereby doubling the nap (and therefore work) portion assigned to me for that day.
Okay, and she also gets her paci if she ever wakes up before 7am, because, again, she’ll go right back to sleep.
And one more confession: if she is to ever have a nap in the car, she gets the paci from the onset of said nap, because despite the unidealistic nap situation, she will close her eyes immediately for the lovely and much anticipated treat of getting a paci.
…and she will even pretend to nap for up to an hour after waking up, so as to be allowed to savor the moments of Stolen Paci Bliss.
She absolutely must still get a Ring of Mordor power trip or get high or something off that thing.
So obviously, I keep the thing around because it benefits me quite a bit.
But my guilt is overwhelming. She should have let that thing go two and a half years ago. I am sure I’m on some Top Ten Paci Offending Parents list somewhere.
I know that I’ve really got to address this issue at some point – I’m not looking forward to explaining to her husband that he needs to just stick her paci in her mouth if she wakes up crying on their honeymoon.
Maybe when she’s a tween and wants to start shaving her legs to desperately fit in with the pre-adolescent crowd, I’ll make a deal with her…you can shave, but only if you give up the paci.
(At this point, she’d pick hairy legs and pits hands down. Good thing her Greek Gene of Super-Hair hasn’t caught up to her to that extent yet.)
Please, someone tell me that their kid had a paci at three too. Or, if that’s not the case, then by all means, share your deepest, darkest, Mommy secret, whatever it may be.
Feel free to alleviate my guilt of total Mommy Failureishness.