I might have mentioned once or twice how much I absolutely DESPISE writing on the butts of clothing. I mean – come on. Find a better place to write things!
HOWEVER, the pandemic of butt literature just continues to grow.
So, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!
And since there seems to be a lacking of positive messages on butts these days, I am now launching a new line of clothing to fill this growing need:
Booty Faith: A Better Choice in Rearview Messages.
That’s right – let’s share the good news with the world the way that the world shares things – on butts!
The first line of clothing that we offer is Virtue Booty. You can choose from many virtues, including Faith:
Hope:
Love:
Modesty:
And Chastity:
Wearing these clothes will create many teachable moments! When your daughter asks you what the words mean on your butt, you can share truth with her!
(Umm…oops. All Ali learned that day was that it is apparently fun to stand against a wall and look back over one’s shoulder.)
Moving on to our second line-up: Denominational Booty.
Tell the world what kind of church you go to!
Is it Baptist?
Or Assembly of God?
Perhaps Methodist?
Or Presbyterian?
Don’t worry, Presbyterians. We as a company completely understand the importance of specifying what sort of Presbyterian you are. So the Presbyterian skirt comes in two customized options as well:
PCA:
And PC USA:
And we don’t just stop at the easy denominations. No way. All you churches out there with names longer than your pews, we have you covered too:
But if you want to be a bit more specific on your beliefs, our third line-up is for you: Theological Booty.
These skirts are great debate starters! Tell people where you stand on the intricate issues of Faith and just wait for all of the opportunities you will have to argue endlessly!!
Are you a firm believer in Predestination?
Or do you tend to debate the other side of the fence?
And of course, your butt is a great place to explain your end times beliefs:
Yes, Booty Faith is finally here, ready and willing to fulfill our society’s need for a better choice in butt messages!
Be sure to keep an eye out for our upcoming Spring 2010 lineup, including Spiritual Gifts and Love Languages!!
Thanks to Rachel from Rambling Robinsons for taking part in this quite ridiculous photoshoot with me!!
Good choice in butt messages. :)
LOL! Great Butt Messages–I will definitely picking one of those up! Maybe something like "Don't Stalk My Kid"
OK, so I usually don't do memes and awards, but I got tagged for one and HAD to pass it on to you since I know if anyone can make it funny–it would have to be you ; )
Come get your award!
Haha, well at least they are better than the ones I usually see! I especially like the really long church name one. I always assume that no on could agree on a name so they used them all. :)
Seriously, you crack me up! This is great!
Seriously, you crack me up! This is great!
I am TOTALLY with you on the butt writing! Hilarious post!
I am still laughing! B and I always used to say that we were Bapadists of God (a nice merging of the denominations we were raised in). Of course, now we're "Independents." Could I special order one that says Indebapadists of God? My butt would be so proud!
I think that's a little too much arm showing to say "modesty" or "chastity." How about "true love waits…..wait, I think I've actually seen those!!!!
P.S. I thought I had lost weight until you fit the entire phrase "full gospel nondenominational holiness church of Jesus Christ" across my rear!
P.P.S I realized that LDS can also stand for Long Denim Skirt!
TOO funny! Can we add one that says something like… "Happily married Christian woman… should you still be looking at this?"
;)
You crack me up! This opens up such a world of possibilities, doesn't it?
WOW. And can I say just how glad I am that I didn't tag along for lunch with y'all that day? You could've put a whole chapter of the Bible on my backside. Mercy…
And, again, WOW.
What a hoot!!
I could spread the word with my middle aged spread!
Rhonda
That is just plain funny!
Sweetie, does my faith make my butt look big?