I am NOT blogging today.

Can you tell?

I spent half of yesterday on the couch, or in other general misery, and the other half working, because during-naptime-work didn’t go away just because I didn’t feel good.

Here’s hoping that today is better, but we’ll see.

What’s wrong with me?

Well, the main ailment is that I have four HUGE Mouth Ulcers.

These things have chronically pained me since childhood – they like to come in spurts and make my life miserable.

If you’ve never had one, be sure to thank God for your unbelievable luck. They are white and red, pussy, swollen, open and oozing sores inside of the mouth. They start little and get humongous, and also grow in pain levels as they go along (don’t forget to thank me for NOT showing you pictures – for once I took the high-not-gross-road.)

And NO, they are NOT herpes. Those are the ones on the OUTSIDE of the mouth.

These you get on your gums, inside your cheeks, on the roof or floor of your mouth, or on your tongue.

And it is just my luck that I currently have two on the left side of my mouth, one on the right side of my mouth, and the biggest, most painful one of all on the tip of my tongue (and it takes up about the WHOLE tip of my tongue, too.)

Which means that eating, drinking, talking, and anything else that requires the mouth is either excruciatingly painful or out of the question, and has been for three days.

Besides that, I’ve had a sore throat, nausea, a bit of a fever, am STILL dealing with my phlegm issue worse than ever, and in general just haven’t felt good (these things often come along with my mouth ulcer breakouts – so don’t get any ideas – I am NOT pregnant).

On the bright side, I was delightfully surprised at how wonderfully pleasant Ali was yesterday, considering that we:
a) stayed at home all day, and
b) Mommy somewhat miserably incapacitated.

She played by herself, was very pleasant and concerned about me, let me take a nap while she watched Curious George on the couch with me, and in general was a joy to be around.

I need to be sick every day.

So, I have nothing of great amusement to say since I spent the whole day in agony, but tonight is the grand kickoff of the newest season of Project Runway, and so to celebrate (even though we won’t watch it until this weekend due to our small group tonight), I decided to finally share my “Tim Gunn” story from BlogHer.

While at BlogHer, I had no idea when or where any of the celebrities were scheduled to appear (this information was oddly left out of all BlogHer Materials), but I just happened to be going by the exhibit hall and saw the lines and the man himself, Tim Gunn.

I love Project Runway, and he was the only celebrity that I had any interest in meeting (sorry, Paula Deen), so I hopped on over and entered the long, long, line.

While waiting, everyone was nervous and trying to decide what they would say to him, and bemoaning past celebrity meetings where they completely embarrassed themselves.

The line was hardly moving, and it was almost time for Tim to be done. People were taking FOREVER. I finally got a peek, and it was taking so long because people were actually showing Tim pictures of their kids on their iPhones!!

Seriously? People! A celebrity has NO interest in seeing your baby’s pictures!! Although he was playing along very well…

It was taking so long that Tim’s posse finally came through the line and told everyone left that we would have to go up in groups of three. Even this didn’t seem to speed up the process, thanks to those who really thought that Tim needed to hear (and see) their life story.

Soo while I was waiting, I decided that in my moment with Tim Gunn I would try to humorously apologize for us bloggers who thought he gave a rip about seeing pictures of our kids.

I walked up, he gave me a hug, and I started into my silly one-long-sentence spiel. As I was saying this, he was looking at my outfit and making hand motions and facial expressions as if he were trying to get in a word edgewise to compliment me on my clothes.

Then he heard what I said, and in the MOST genuine voice ever said, “Oh no!! I ABSOLUTELY love seeing all of your pictures of your kids!!”

He really sounded like he meant it. I guess that’s why he gets to be on TV – he’s like the world’s greatest actor.

In all seriousness, he sounded about a hundred times more genuine than I sound at my genuinest in every word he said to everyone I heard him talk to – I was totally impressed.

Anyway, that was the end of my moment talking to him, so he never got to compliment my outfit. Earlier in line when I was listening to everyone else lament their past celebrity meetings, I thought it was a rather silly thing to obsess over – as if the celebrity is EVER going to remember the stupid thing that YOU happened to say.

But I did find myself rather second guessing my Tim-Gunn-Silly-Meeting-Tactics afterward…if I had just said hello, let him “genuinely” complement my outfit, and moved on…??

Then I wouldn’t have this blog post to write.

Oops – I thought I was going to take the day off from blogging. I guess this counts as phoning it in, overly wordy Rachel style.

Now I’m going to go gargle mouth sore medicine for the rest of the day, not that it helps.

21 thoughts on “Hello, I’m Applying for a Day Off.

  1. I had to have an ulcer in my mouth lasered yesterday. It was the ulcer that all the other ulcers want to grow up to be like. I swear to goodness, it's almost as big as a dime and it's killing me.

    I hope you get to feeling better!

  2. I really think Tim Gunn would've liked to see a picture of Ali. I mean, she was much cuter than those other people's kids.

    Don't let me hear you use Paula Deen's name in vain like that again. ::Scoff:: ; )

    Feel better! I'm off to get my shot.

  3. Have you tried Canker Melts? I got a free sample and tried one the other day and it really did make my canker sore go away almost completely after just one use! They're made from licorice root, which is a natural anesthetic or something.

  4. Aha!! You've just provided blog fodder for my post tonight about not meeting any celebrities! And you did look fabulous.

  5. I had a dream about Tim Gunn once. He was my boyfriend in the dream. And super, super nice.

    Nice to see that part of that dream was true. :)

    I am praying for you. Hope you feel better soon, and praise the Lord for sweet, understanding toddlers!

  6. I really hate to sound like your Grandmother, but, alas, I will, have you thought of going to a doctor? I know he cannot cure the horrible mouth ulcers, but I am really worried about the phlehm (sp?) thing, it has been way too long. I will pray you feel better but I think God might be telling you to go to a professional in the case. Sorry for the lecture.

  7. B12 and Lysine is what a pharmacist suggested I try for canker sores. It really worked for me. I can relate to the misery you are dealing with. I hope you get relief soon.

  8. So sorry about your mouth sores! Yes, as anonymous said… go get you some Lysine! That should help, it's good stuff, also good for swollen tonsils. My mom used to give it to me all the time when I had tonsillitis.

  9. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, get Ali to your mom's, come home, and take a pain pill. Sleep all day. Let Ali spend the night. Sleep all tomorrow and maybe when you wake up they will be better.

    I am so sorry.

  10. I agree- try some Lysine. My brother in law told me about it and I was amazed at how well it works! I get those nasty sores and it never fails I will end up biting them a million times so they just keep getting worse.

    Hope you were able to get some relief when you went to the doc today!!!

  11. Sorry you had a sickly couple of days, hope you feel better soon! Ryan gets those sores in his mouth all the time & he swears he always gets them after he eats something with tomatoes in it, so he avoids them at all costs.
    Ryan also had a "Christie" remedy for his ulcers…he puts Alum on them. Alum is some weird spice that I had never heard of before I met him. He says that it doesn't make them go away, but it makes them stop hurting so bad.
    I love Project Runway too!
    I didn't catch on until season 3 or 4, because I've never really been into fashion, but there's something about that show that draws you in & won't let you go :)
    I've been anxiously waiting for this season to start for almost a year now!
    I'm glad that Tim Gunn is as nice in person as he seems on TV!

  12. I hope you get to feeling better. I'll try not to talk to much to you at small group since it's painful for you. I've been feeling pretty bad also, but mines been due to my eye (which is mostly better now), and womanly issues going on at the same time. Today I've felt better though, luckily since I had to go take mom to chemo. :) :)

    I'm also glad Ali behaved for you while you weren't feeling well. :) :)

  13. Oh my goodness, that sounds awful! I'm a total wimp whenever I get a cankersore so I can't imagine that. Hope you feel better soon!

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