An Ode to Waistbands.

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Dear Regular, Wonderful, Adored-With-All-My-Being Jeans,

You have served me well – much longer than I thought you would possibly be able to.

Somehow, with your certainly-miraculous stretchiness and the help of many tortured waistline-expanding rubber bands (most who lost their lives in the line of duty), I have been able to enjoy your comfort up to this 30 week point in my pregnancy.

In fact, you’ve been kinda like my security blanket. My one spot of normalness amidst the complete hijacking of my body.

However, I think our blissful time together may have come to an end.

And I promise – it’s not you – it’s most definitely me.

Or, more accurately, my hips.

It seems that this week’s two pound gain went completely and totally into my hips (I suppose my “Birthing Hips” arrived, although they were QUITE sufficient for that before), and even though you, in your surpassing mercy and compassion, are still willing to be stretched over their growing mass (with the help of a shoehorn, a sturdy pair of pliers, and possibly a crane), I am just too afraid that I might eventually cause you to finally let go and completely explode into a pile of threads (something I know you’ve been considering), and therefore not have you around to comfort me after the emotional nuclear bomb that is giving birth.

And so, if I can manage to wean myself from your cozy home (I might need that crane to do so), it’s time to let you vacation from the strains and stretches of being distended over my increasingly unwieldy hips.

And, as much as it makes me cringe, your replacement will have to be these:

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…which aren’t too much of a fan of my hips either, and still refuse to stay up because they have no waistband to keep them in place, and so I am forced to walk around all day, hitching up my pants quite ungracefully, all while trying to smooth out that supposedly glorious “Secret Fit Belly” without pulling my shirt up to my bra to accomplish that nearly-impossible feat.

I will miss you deeply, my wonderful, wonderful jeans with your excellent, staying-up-powered waistbands.

…and Noah better send me flowers for this sacrifice one day.

Yours Truly,

The Possibly-Neurotic-Because-She’s-Writing-Letters-To-Her-Jeans Pregnant Woman.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    saw maternity jeans at target with out the horrible stretchy stuff- maybe they ride below the baby?
    chrissie

  2. Oh, I'm so the opposite. I just might have, in my first trimester, already broken out the elastic waited ones a time or two. Shameful, I know. I find pregnancy (at any stage) to be the excuse that I wish I had all the time to wear the oh-so-comfortable elastic around my waist. Gotta milk it while you can.

    It also doesn't help that I've never quite gotten back into my pre-baby jeans, and the ones that I bought as "transitional jeans" I hate with a passion (and yet refuse to buy a nice pair in the wretched size that I've been in). All the more reason to embrace the maternity ones.

  3. lol! I have the exact opposite problem – I loved the belly band pants. I can't find pants that fit me comfortably *and* don't gape or strangle my midsection when I bend down; which, as you know, happens pretty darn often with little kids. While I did have to pull them up a lot, at least I didn't feel like my butt was hanging out all the time :P

  4. It's remarkable that you've made it this far in your regular jeans even with the rubber bands!

    I tried the rubber band thing back in my 1st trimester & the jeans still wouldn't fit.

    I can't STAND constantly having to pull up my pants…it's really annoying, but they are comfortable when you're sitting down :)

  5. Clearly, I am out of touch with maternity fashion. How far up your back do those jeans go? I liked the ones with the small(er) elastic band that went under the baby belly…do they not make them anymore?

    While I am all about some elastic waist pants, I cannot handle having to pull them up all the time.

  6. This Is The Day says:

    Wow, I cannot believe you made it to 30 weeks still wearing your regular jeans!!! That's crazy!

    I have the opposite love though. I think maternity jeans are WAY more comfortable than regular ones. I start wearing them the second I realize I'm pregnant and take them into a couple of weeks after birth. Love them.

    I hate getting back into my uncomfortable, binding jeans after a year of comfy bliss. Yes, they do require some extra pulling up, but that is their only flaw in my mind. I think I need to get pregnant again so I can get them out. Or maybe I should just bite the bullet and go shopping until I find comfortable jeans. Might be easier. Haha:)

  7. WOW you made it to 30 weeks before getting out the dreaded maternity jeans…congrats on that. it will all be worth it when little Noah arrives and I am sure one day he will get you flowers (even if they are dandelions).

    Rachel, I also want to Thank You for making me so welcome when I first moved to B'ham and for inviting me to your aunts' pottery place, that was lots of fun.

  8. Well, I think the consensus here is that maternity jeans are more comfy than normal jeans. I wouldn't know since I've never been pregnant, but I would like to know where you shop for your super comfy normal jeans :)

  9. I can't believe you were still wearing your normal jeans at 30 weeks! I think I was in the majority when I said I LOVED my maternity pants and started wearing them as soon as I had any mention of a bump! HAHA

  10. Kitty Engle says:

    You will have them back soon so tell them not to give up on you. And at least yours stay up which is more than I can say for the jeans I see on girls around here. I am sure Noah will be happy for more room.

  11. Brandon and April says:

    you gotta admit though, those are some CUTE maternity jeans! pretty please pass on the info on the brand of these jeans. cuz, they're cute! and us will-be-pregnant-again-some-day ladies need to be updated on maternity fashion! :)

  12. Oh, this letter is right up there with the Mom jeans post you did a couple of years ago. In fact, it takes Mom jeans to a whole new level, don't you think?

    I did enjoy the time spent in those elastic and fabric-topped jeans solely because of the comfort it gave my ever expanding belly. How you wore normal, fashion jeans to 30 weeks is astounding! I had no idea you were that far along either. My bad!

    How are you feeling other than out of fashion at this point, Rach?

    Blessings,
    Carol

    P.S. My friend, that moved to Alabama recently, is now going to Church of the Highlands. Are you familiar with that church? They seem to really be enjoying it.

    P.P.S. The maternity jeans you do have are very chic BTW.

  13. Stephanie says:

    I love my maternity jeans…they are far more comfy than even my favorite non-maternity jeans…even my maternity hiking pants are far more comfy than regular hiking pants!

  14. Chrissie – Thanks! I'll check 'em out!

    Gina – yes, sadly, the whole world (but me) thinks that the Secret Fit Waistband is where it's at, and that's almost all they carry anywhere anymore.

    Elizabeth – Seven for All Mankind. They are the most amazing jeans ever – they stretch and give, but without losing their shape. They look good just washed or worn half a dozen times. BUT I only get them on clearance, which surprisingly isn't as hard as you'd think. Belk pretty much always has a designer jeans clearance rack, so I check it anytime I'm there (and not pregnant, obviously) to find a pair in my size and that I like. I've gotten them for as cheap as $30!!!! (As opposed to their $150-220 regular price). It's totally worth the hunt – they are life changing!!!

    April – The top pair of Jeans were ReRocks – I got them on clearance at Pea in a Pod. The second pair were Motherhood that I found at Macy's. But I still don't like either of 'em. :)

  15. Anonymous says:

    I am doing research for my university paper, thanks for your helpful points, now I am acting on a sudden impulse.

    – Kris

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