Search for "Gap"

The Story of Hosting Woes: A Cautionary Tale.

July 20, 2016July 20, 2016 Rachel Callahan I'm a Blog Geek, Just My Luck

So two weeks ago was…stressful.

It wasn’t planned to be, insomuch as one ever plans a stressful week.

It all started at the end of June, when my blog / Picture Birmingham’s hosting company, HostGator, billed me for my annual renewal. I’d managed to talk them down last year to 40% of the list price, so it wasn’t so bad. But this year, it was back to the old rate.

Okay I better back up – actually this story starts in 2012.

Remember way back when … when I was known for my butt? Those blue jean posts went viral, and I was getting a crazy amount of hits on my blog, and it was crashing the regular ole’ server. In a blinding panic, I agreed to move my blog to a dedicated server, raising my hosting cost from $20 a month to $174 a month. It was fine, because I was getting so many hits that the increased ad revenue more than paid for that ridiculous bill. And after all, I was doing a butt service for the nation.

But after about three years of up-and-down viral traffic, mainly from that series of posts, people have realized that my information is outdated and have quit coming.

Or maybe everyone is tired of looking at my butt.

Whatev.

(For the record, I hope to do an updated denim post nearer to the fall, but we’ll see if I actually make it happen. They’re a lot of work. And I’ll need to find some volunteer butts.)

Anyway. So I don’t need that giant server anymore. I’m just a normal old blog, and the community of blogging is dying anyway, so I certainly didn’t need that powerhouse of a machine. And I certainly certainly didn’t want to pay my annual bill of over $2,000 to keep it going.

So I did what any normal person would do. I called my hosting company. I explained my situation. They agreed I didn’t need that much power. I asked them what solution would *best* fit my needs. After all, they have more data about me than I do, and they know more things about RAM and processing speed than I ever will – who better to tell me what I need? I figured they’d err on the side of too big, but hey – anything less than $174 a month would surely be a win, right?

Well. I talked to some delightful young man who recommended to me the “Snappy 1000” plan. For only $20 a month, this plan could CERTAINLY handle my website load!

Are you sure, young man?

Of course, ma’am! For sure. This site will take care of all your needs. Without a doubt.

So I agreed.

Sell me this Snappy 1000, young man.

I purchased the new VPS plan and requested that my hosting company move my crap from dedicated to VPS, then after ensuring* everything transferred and was working correctly, I asked them to kill my dedicated server and please refund me my $2,000.

* I did not ensure this very well. This was my mistake.

The very next morning, my blog began crashing.

People began getting an ugly errors the minute they tried to access either of my sites, and if a site did come up, it was soooooo sssssslllllloooooowwwwww.

Nooooooo.

Pain.

Suffering.

Gnashing of teeth.

But I’ve been here before. Server problems can usually be rectified fairly quickly, especially if I offer to pay more.

I contacted my hosts.

Help! I need my sites to work! They’re not!

Hm. We can’t replicate the errors. They seem fine to us.

No seriously! Please! Let me pay you more! Just make my sites work!

Well. Hm. We will need to escalate this to another technician.

Two days went by. My sites were still crashing. HostGator didn’t seem to want to fix it or take my money.

So I finally picked up my phone and put it against my ear, willing myself to use that awful green call button.

Hold

Hi. How can I help you?

I tell my whole story.

Tech #1: Hm. I don’t see anything wrong. Let me transfer you to the escalation department.

Hold

I tell my whole story.

Tech #2: Oh yes. I see how your sites are running terribly slow. We need to fix this for you. Let me escalate you to level 3.

Wait for Tech #2 to write a Tolstoy volume of notes, then Hold.

I tell my whole story.

Tech #3: Hm. I don’t see anything at all wrong with your sites. They seem fast enough to me.

Well they’re not. Tech #2 agreed with me. Please help. I’ll pay more. I’ll do whatever. Just get my sites working.

Okay. Let me put you on hold and see what I can do.

Hold

Hold

Hold

….At the point at which I was one hour and fifty-two minutes into this phone call (I know. Soul-Crushing.) and still on hold, Tech #3 just flat-out hung up on me.

Or, rather, sent me into the pre-hangup customer survey.

I gave a long explanation on the customer survey about how I’d just flushed one hour and fifty-two minutes of my precious life down the HostGator drain just to get hung up on.

I complained to Twitter.

I opened a ticket.

I did everything I could short of making another phone call.

It was also around this time that I realized two of my posts, a whole bunch of comments, and some pictures had gotten lost in the transfer.

I’ll let you imagine how helpful Hostgator was in getting back my data.

Finally, On Day #5, at least I got a response from an honest tech. A response that made me want to cut my fingernails out with a dull butterknife.

VPS’s are typically used for developing and not hosting full-fledged websites. Downgrading from a Dedicated Server to a VPS is going to be a considerable difference, and I apologize that this was not explained to you.

So yeah.

Whoever that delightful young man was in the beginning that sold me a Snappy 1000 and promised it was exactly what I needed – he is out of my Last Will and Testament.

During that week, I had a Picture Birmingham client who was trying to buy digital photos for a client of theirs. Each time he tried to access my site and it failed, he told me, “I can help you with this. It’s what I do.”

And each time I was all like,

“I have it under control. I am working through it with my host now.”

By Saturday, I took him up on his offer.

“Please. Fix me. Get me off of HostGator. It’s what you do.”

And he did. Beautifully, cleanly, and with an extremely unexpectedly nonexistent amount of pain. And now, to my knowledge, my sites are……working. Pretty perfectly. And I have the added benefit of a local company to take care of me and keep me from future woes. (Adopt-A-Press, if you need a guy.)

But despite a week of pain and Hostgator’s best efforts to make me say “Goodbye, cruel internet”, I didn’t give up. I came close, but I didn’t leave the web forever.

Only because of my love for you.

The Best Worst Comments: Volume IV

May 31, 2016May 30, 2016 Rachel Callahan Best Worst Comments, Weird Strange and True

It’s a good year when I get to have two Best Worst Comments posts before summer even begins.

It’s a good year because people are really getting passionate about the important things – like sherbet.

And….bass turds? I don’t even understand what that has to do with sherbet but I’m pretty sure it’s not an ingredient.

The above comments, of course, were on my Dilemna/Dilemma post (and the universe shift theory that goes with it), which still gets tons of traffic due to the MASSIVE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD LIKE ME. Except that those people like me are also a little scary…

Somebody please tell Zoe that she probably shouldn’t enter a spelling or geography bee anytime soon. Her head might completely explode when she sees that the United Kingdom is an island – AND SO IS ENGLAND!!

Arthur is also still struggling, and apparently still shifting.

It’s also a good year because people are taking the time to be offended by five-year-old comments on six-year-old posts.

Actually, Erin was getting offended last year by five year old comments. But of course, someone was offended by Erin this year.

(One day, I should explain to all these people that the person they’re attacking gets no notification of the attack against them. And that with the time lapse between the offending comment and resulting attack, they very well may be dead.)

(But. I’m sure the fact that their victim is already deceased has never stopped a vicious internet troll before, so by all means continue.)

It’s a good year because, continuing in the vein of “they’ll never see your reply,” my Big Bang Theory MBTI post was graced with an expert who disagreed with everyone who disagreed with me. There’s too many to put here (you’d fall asleep before you read them all,) but “Smarty Pants” took it upon himself to ‘splain to everyone how they got it wrong. Sometimes in short form,

Sometimes in medium form,

And sometimes in long form.

But it’s an even better year because of COURSE, somebody had to come and disagree with him.

…and, after telling “SmaryPants” (which is way grosser than SmartyPants) to quit disagreeing with everyone, he had to throw a p.s. in there…that was disagreeing with me.

It’s a good year.

It’s a good year because another post that gets a lot of Google hits, an especially disgusting post about that feeling of snot in the back of your throat that you just can’t evict, had some special visitors.

I kinda wish I still had the problem so I could try CJ’s solution. Although I fear I might break my nose again in the process.

But more detailed than CJ – in the most extreme way, was Chazz Tubjuggler. Who blessed us with three tomes of phlegmy information – including the priceless advice of “become a smoker so that you’re more experienced with mucous removal.”

There’s so much here. SO MUCH. But yes. He also recommends the “Farmer Sneeze.”

And who hasn’t delivered huge mucous baby at 100mph through their nose?

Also, if smoking is so great for phlegm removal expertise, why has he been dealing with it his entire life?

Oh but Chazz isn’t done.

The more I read, the more I think that Chazz might have done his lifetime of smoking on a farm. His country analogies are ON POINT.

Of course it couldn’t be a good year without at least ONE fantastic denim comment.

Oh Ranger. I think you must be the talk of the farm.

It’s a good year because Ed felt it necessary to make this comment on a post that had absolutely nothing to do with Birmingham.

And Realist made this comment on a post that had nothing to do with Indians.

And a regular reader, Nancy, taught me this valuable new phrase on this post.

But my favorite comments are on the post you guys helped me write a few years ago – A Scientific Report on Chick Cars. Obviously tongue-in-cheek, I took a survey and then tallied the results, gauging cars based on their manliness or chickliness.

You’d think that women would be offended most by my gender-boxing, but NO. Men have been extraordinarily angry about the entire idea.

There’s this guy, who was clearly attempting to call me an idiot, but accidentally named himself idiot in the process…

(There’s absolutely no such thing as sarcasm and exaggeration in Mr. Idiot’s universe, apparently),

And then there was Ryan.

Oh, Ryan.

When I read this comment,

And the name he gave me,

I laughed out loud, multiple times, for days.

Confederate Shehag.

Guys. He called me a CONFEDERATE SHEHAG!!!

This should be my byline on every social network, business card, church directory, and résumé for the rest of time.

Rachel Callahan, Confederate Shehag.
Writer, photographer, and the reason that feminism is a complete joke.

It’s Not About the Journey: 30 Hiking Destinations around Birmingham

March 31, 2016April 21, 2016 Rachel Callahan Actually Possibly Informational, I Love Birmingham, I'm a Glutton for Adventure

In the past seven days, my nine and five year old have hiked 15 miles with me – and this isn’t unusual for us. There were tears once, whining a few times, and EMERGENCY NEEDS TO PEE twice, but overall, they were excited, running ahead of me, and looking for adventure.

The secret to this hiking glory is providing them with grand destinations. You’d think that the first time we made discoveries of cool finds would be the most exciting to them, but they much prefer returning to their lands of imagination after they’ve become acquainted with them and named them. I have to convince them to leave behind their known discoveries to chase after new ones.

“We’re going hiking today? Ooh can we go to Moss Rock and go to the Rock Desert and the Dome Rock and a waterfall? Or how about Ruffner Mountain and visit the quarry and the overlook??”

What I’ve learned from my kids is that hiking doesn’t just have to be about the journey – it can be about the multiple destinations along the way. Kids don’t always understand the beauty of the journey, but they totally get the concept of destination. And this isn’t just kids – the more I think about it, I’ve realized that I’m the exact same way, as are most adults. Let’s quit trying to make life about the journey and acknowledge that we as a human race really enjoy destinations.

Here are our current favorite destinations around Birmingham, sectioned off by location, and with notated maps to help you find them. I’ll try to be as succinct as possible because I have so many to share, but if you have questions about how to get to any of them, or questions about what the hikes entail, please feel free to ask in the comments section.

Red Mountain Park

1. The Forest-Attacked Train Tracks – well-hidden, but one of the most magical spots in Birmingham.

2. The H Ruins (or as I refer to it, “One H of a Trail”) – this would be a fantastic family photo site if your family’s last name starts with H.

3. The cave that has air conditioning flowing out of it…and every now and then, a bat. Stick your face in this cave while walking by: the air feels fantastic in the middle of a run or hike, the bat, not so much.

(This actually did happen to me not long ago. The children were highly amused. The bat and I were not.)

4. Riley’s Roost – The Treehouse with the ruins. Although I love all the treehouses, this one is my kid’s favorite because they love to explore and pretend they’re archaeologists while I lay in the sun on the floor of the treehouse.

5. Grace’s Gap – this is the furthest destination at Red Mountain – more suggested for adults or really good kid hikers. I think my kids have made it to Grace’s Gap once. But it’s definitely worth the walk if you’re not accompanied by whiners.

6. Goats – Red Mountain Park is currently using goats to clear land, and they just had babies. They’re delightful to visit and hear all of the dozens of varying-pitched bleats.

Map of where to find the above set of destinations (notated with yellow numbers corresponding above) – some points are approximate. (Note: The goat location changes as they clear land, so if they’re not where I said they are, keep looking. Also, if the map is too small to read, click on it.)

Moss Rock Preserve

7. The Rock Desert (Official Name: Sandstone Glade) – This place reminds me of a miniature version of Stone Mountain or Panola Mountain in Georgia. It’s a mostly bald rock face that has boulders to climb on and all sorts of entertainment for children. It also hosts a surprising variety of colorful spring flowers that pop out of the dirt buildup on the rock surface.

8. Waterfalls – There are so many different waterfalls at Moss Rock, and my children adore them all.

9. Dome Rock – This graffiti-covered natural rock dome is the best emo-kid photo backdrop ever.

10. Crack Rock. Because who doesn’t want to climb into Crack Rock?

11. Hole Rock. Okay maybe our naming isn’t so great but the rocks are.

12. Boulder Fields – this is a most fabulous place because all of the giant rocks are going uphill, so you can walk out onto the rocks and be extremely high up with no climbing required. A favorite of height-lovers of all sizes. Also, it’s .2 miles from the parking lot, so accessible even on a non-hiking day. We prefer it to be at the end of our loop – it’s the reward of a great hike.

13. The Twisted Branch – it’s just where you need it to be for a quick hike break.

Map to Moss Rock Destinations:
Note: You can download an interactive map to use on your phone from CartoTracks for Moss Rock Preserve. There are so many different trails at Moss Rock and they run so close together that this map has helped me not get lost many times – it’s $4.95 and totally worth it.

Ruffner Mountain Nature Preserve

14. The Quarry – my kids adore exploring, climbing, and discovering things inside the quarry. It’s full of spring flowers, dragonflies, and butterflies.

15. The City Overlook – the coolest hiking destination to see Birmingham. The sunset in the winter months is just fantastic from here.

16. The Quarry Overlook (Cambrian Overlook) – this lies between the city overlook and the quarry. If you just see quarry, you haven’t gotten to the really amazing overlook yet, but this one holds a charm of its own.

17. The Old Rail Tunnel – one of our newest discoveries, this mystical tunnel only fits kids (unless you crawl.) Ali tells me there’s a stream and another trail on the other side, but I suspect it might be in Narnia.

There are also a couple of Geocache boxes in this tunnel, something my kids found extremely exciting.

18. The Old Ruins – there are many ruins at Ruffner (a lot of which we haven’t even found yet), but this one is especially accessible and feels adventurous to explore.

19. The Wildflower Bog (Wetlands Trail) – this trail has absolutely gorgeous fall flowers (there weren’t many in the spring – maybe they bloom later in the summer), and also has some rather rickety walkways around a few ponds. The ponds currently house dozens of giant tadpoles that are fun to watch.

The easy way to get here is from the Eastern Trailhead (it’s the flattest hike at Ruffner Mountain), but if you come down from the main entrance, there’s also a nice overlook on the way, with a much-needed bench.

Ruffner Map with Destinations notated in blue:

Note: You can access a free interactive Ruffner Map through Google Maps – just pull it up on your phone when you arrive, and the trails should show up. If that doesn’t work, click through from their website.

Tannehill Ironworks Historical State Park

20. The Furnace Site – this is probably the easiest hike (really a walk) for new explorers, and has many thrilling facets to check out.

21. The Waterwheel – this place holds so much charm, from its waterwheel, to the leaky chute going to the waterwheel, to the creek and waterfall next to it. It’s definitely a favorite.

22. Bubbling Springs – this is a must-visit spot, preferably your last spot after a long hike. It’s a tiny pond over a spring that literally makes tiny bubbles in the water. No matter the time of year, the water is delightfully cold and oddly refreshing. Take your shoes off and soak for a minute – you won’t regret it.

Tannehill Map of Destinations:

Oak Mountain State Park

23. The Treehouse Trail – super easy for beginning hikers, this is a raised walkway trail with six or seven giant bird cages on it. There are owls and hawks and even an Albino Vulture. You can also often catch a trainer feeding the birds something tasty like dead rats.

The Treehouse trail is only about half a mile on its own, but empties out into another trail that can take you many different routes, including up to the nature center. It’s a beautiful trail by a tiny stream.

24. The Dam – about halfway around the lake trail, this is a great motivator for a longer hike (in full circle, the lake trail is 3.4 miles. Totally doable for kids, but not usually without a whine or two.) Having this cool view of the lake (and possibly being allowed to slide down the dam and play in the lake) usually buys you a little time.

25. Peavine Falls – this hike starts out as a wide trail with a gentle downhill grade,

but before you know it, you’re sliding on your butt down boulders while holding onto roots to get down. Oddly, though, it’s much easier on the way back up.

But the reward is this:

The water flow varies tremendously. We’ve been there when it was only a trickle. So if that’s going to disappoint you, make sure you go after a good rainfall.

26. The Old Lake at the Cabins – Okay this isn’t a hike-to destination and I don’t think you’re supposed to go to this lake unless you’re staying at the cabins. But if you happen to be there at sunset and you can be unobtrusive and undisturbing to the cabin dwellers, you must tiptoe out onto the pier and catch a picture.

27. King’s Chair – only for the determined child but definitely a worthwhile hike for adults, King’s Chair is a glorious sight. It’s exactly two miles up from the trailhead, but those two miles are definitely UP. But this is why you go:

I’ve only taken one kid up there so far, and it wasn’t one of my own, but she bravely hiked up the mountain.

Oak Mountain’s online map isn’t high enough resolution to be able to share the locations, but all of the above are easily findable on their trail map. I highly recommend buying a paper copy at the gate for $1. If you can’t find one of the above destinations, please ask me!

Vulcan Trail

This trail is only a mile long and it’s completely flat. You wouldn’t think it’d have that much room to be super interesting, but it is. It’s a great trail for a quick walk on a pretty afternoon. Since there’s only one walkway, I don’t have a map to provide the location of the points of interest. But you can’t miss them.

28. The Graffiti Thing – I have no idea what kind of ruins this is, but my kids always want to climb on it. There’s an abundance of graffiti tags on the trail – it makes for a fun scavenger hunt.

29. The Stairs Leading to the City -It’s pretty cool. One out of two kids agree.

30. The Overhanging Tree – It’s the luckiest tree in the city. And well worth a stop to admire.

We have so many more great treasures around Birmingham to discover, but now you’re prepared with 30 great places to track down. So get out there and hike, and enjoy the destination.

Questions? Suggestions? Destinations? Leave them in the comments!!

Search Results for : Gap