I first became aware of the phenomenon about a decade ago. It was in a CVS Pharmacy, of all places. It must have been Christmastime, because they had a plethora of cheap-Christmas-gift-Merchandise on hand. And there was a “full-length” mirror – or at least it was a long rectangular mirror about four feet high. It […]
The Kind of Suckers You Wait Decades For.
It all started sometime in very early elementary school when I had gone over to my cousin’s house after he got out of school. He had just had his Valentine’s party that day, and was loaded down with delicious looking Valentine’s loot attached to Valentine’s cards from all of his classmates. (I wish I’d learned […]
Wardrobial Consequences.
As I was folding my jeans on Saturday, I saw a horrific sight. My favorite pair of jeans – the most cherished item in my wardrobe – had, unbeknownst to me, acquired quite the hole. And said hole was notsomuch in a place where holes are acceptable… My first reaction was mourning, of course. There […]
Circus in the Dark Ages.
I bought tickets for the Circus on Monday – in anticipation of taking Ali for the first time ever. I bought them online – of course. I asked around on twitter until I found the best discount code (which, by the way, if you haven’t gotten tickets and plan to, use the discount code “JUGGLE” […]
Common Crazy and The Talking Breast Pump.
There’s a phenomenon in life that I’ll call The Common Crazy. The Common Crazy are all of the things that the majority of us do or think, but are afraid to admit to, because we think we might be the only ones who do or think them, and therefore, everyone else will TOTALLY think we’re […]
Awkward Starts Early.
All of us have multiple awkward stages in our lives. (At least I think we do – if you’ve been the perfect Barbie-Cheerleader all your life, well, I hate you lucky you.) But the rest of us … have had at least a couple. I certainly had a few myself… Some brought on by my […]
The Slimy Demise of Me.
Disclaimer: This post contains medical disgust. For all three of you who like such things, feel free to keep reading. The rest of you: be warned and run far, far away. Disclaimer 2: There are always a few of you who say you felt guilty laughing at my expense. If I wasn’t okay with you […]
Recipe For the World’s Most Bizarre Weekend.
Start with a Three Week Old Baby: Who, despite his preciousness, does not sleep good on Friday night, therefore also adding in one Very-Sleep-Deprived-Three-Weeks-Post-Partum-Mommy. On Saturday morning, stir in a Four Year Old’s Birthday, starting and ending with complete sugar overload: (Sugar Overload shown in recipe provided by Krispy Kreme and my amazingly talented friend […]
12 Lessons Learned From A Dreaded Fake Labor Adventure.
So we finally did it last night. After months of contractions that equated to the level of intensity that my “real” contractions were with Ali but NOT calling in for fear of making The Dreaded and Shameful Fake Labor Hospital Trip, and after an especially intense day and evening with contractions starting at 1:30pm and […]
GestationLand!!!
Welcome to the final stretch of your stay in GestationLand!!! Requiring a nine-month stay, GestationLand is a theme park that may get you treated like a Princess, but guarantees that you won’t feel like one!! By this time, you’ve already ridden on many of the thrill rides that the park has to offer, including: The […]