Chris and I were having a discussion the other night. The kind where I thought we should do one thing, and he thought we should do another.
(I take full responsibility for this sort of discussion as I was quite difficult to live with last week, thanks to Pink Eye, a painful reaction to the steroids, multiple mouth ulcers, and general malaise.)
But we weren’t making much progress in our discussion, so Ali ran in, handed Chris a note, then ran out.
Clearly we need to discuss the hierarchy of authority up in these parts.
I’ve been seeing some fascinating things on Pinterest lately.
Like these rings, for instance.
Any girl old enough to understand them should be too old to want them, and any girl who’s young enough to want them is also young enough to be Jonathan’s daughter.
(Seriously. I checked – he’s 44.)
(Which means that Adele is young enough to be his daughter.)
(Chew on that for a minute while you twist your rings.)
I’ve also seen some evidence as to why men should not be on Pinterest:
But then again, I drink Dr Pepper TEN and it’s for men, so who am I to judge.
Also. You might have picked up on the fact that I find back pockets to be very crucial to denim success.
However. If you find your back pockets to not quite be what they should be, this is not the way to fix them.
If you’re getting ready for summer celebrations, Zulily has some fantastic Independence Day looks.
Because you can never go too literal with the Fourth of July.
But if you’re feeling more morose about freedom, you can always go with this outfit.
Or if you’d rather just blend into the crowd, then camo is your friend.
Ali and I borrowed a children’s poetry book from the library.
It was a cheery collection.
I quite randomly stumbled onto a post on Babble where Ali-as-a-toddler had been named in a list of “25 Adorable Hairstyles for Toddler Girls.” Who knew?
I scrolled down, excited to see how everyone fawned over my precious daughter in the comments section…
Speaking of comments gone wrong, this priceless thread has popped up somewhere deep in the middle of my Inconvenient Gap of Truth post comments. I love that they are all a month apart, from four different women, and they will surely never come back to see the conversation they sparked.
Who knew? Only strippers need good jeans.
And yet, they don’t.
Sometimes I get questionable PR Pitches, especially in the form of Twitter and Facebook Parties.
This one just…doesn’t seem like too jubilant of a party.
And this one could have used a bit more hashtag analysis.
(Note to PR people everywhere: a focus group of over-observant bloggers can go a long way to help prevent embarrassing hashtag oopsies.)
I cannot pass a Tom Thumb gas station without picturing a partially sunburned man in tighty-whities. Can you?
And with much thanks to my friend Debbie for this last one, who saw this beautiful sign at the mall and took a picture just for me. And you.
So there you go. Don’t be afraid of hand-holding during movements, ladies. If it’s important enough for a ceramic placard, it’s important enough for me.
Oh. my. wor.d.
As a mother who held my voluntarily constipated first child’s hand through many a “movement,” that sign just made my day!
Literally laughing out loud at this comment!
I may just have to see if I can find that sign for you and ship it.
Loved this one. Since I only skimmed the title it took me a minute to figure out what your fight with Chris had to do with NKOTB and Zulily, then I went back to see what I missed and realized the word “random” was right in the title! In my defense, this is the first thing I read after waking this morning.
And this led to the bonus of clicking the link to the jeans post, which is one I hadn’t seen before. So I got a double dose of fun this morning! :-)
Oh my goodness!! You EXIST!!! The legendary yet obscure blog reader that DIDN’T get here because of my jean posts!! What a relief that there are people out there that didn’t find me because of my butt.
Happy to be of service! And to have my existence validated publicly makes this a very good day!
I will never understand why anyone would get so bothered by your post about gap jeans. This is not a blog promoting world peace or devoted to saving starving children. It’s about your life, which is frequently hilarious. On that note, last fall i splurged on two pairs of rock and republic jeans at kohls and they fit great but they stretch out some and are already worn out with holes in the knees and the belt loops came up so i can’t wear a belt with them, which sucks because they stretch enough that i either have to wear a belt or wash every time i wear them. Are the ones at kohls cheaper or something? I hate to think I’ve been led astray!
Unfortunately, yes – it’s like the Lucky jeans that are at Sam’s Club. They greatly cheapen the brands when they start selling them at less expensive stores. And, although Lucky still has their “good” line, Rock and Republic has since quit carrying theirs! It breaks my heart. We still have some of the leftover good ones through Vault, but as far as I know, those are the only ones left. Sorry I inadvertently led you astray! What size do you wear? Maybe I can send you a “real” pair to make up for it. :-)
Ugh I don’t even know,! the ones I bought are 10’s but when they stretch they are a bit too big. Every other pair I’ve owned had been an 8. But none of them fit anyway because my children expanded my hips so most jeans that fit in the hips are too loose in the waist and thighs… usually 8 is a tad small, enough I’m afraid to buy, and 10 is usually to big. That’s such a bummer because i loved them so much and would love to buy a better pair from that brand. Do you know someone in the Virginia beach area who does vault?? If I lived near you I would be ringing your for bell already. I keep meaning to go try at express but i don’t want to bring my kids in there!
Funny stuff! Wow, I didn’t know you were so rich! Emily is so insightful to gather such info after reading A blogpost… Also, Ali looks adorable in that picture but I was dying at the comments!!! Protip: I got a stress ulcer last week & put Thieves essential oil on it & it numbed it & kept it from growing skittle-size! WIN! I thought of you & now wish I would have shared this info last week; my bad.
Good to know! I actually quit getting mouth ulcers all together after Noah was born – this is the first in a while. Hopefully the last!
Thanks so much for the laughs this morning! We’ve been having a gray spell for the past couple days and this really brightened my morning.
Ali’s note to Chris is priceless….I’d frame it.
How funny. It’s nice to see that other people have very random and odd moments in their lives as well. When my husband offers to disagree with me, my daughter floats by singing from Tangled “Skip the drama, stick with momma. MOTHER knows best”. I dont know if I should be honored she understands that’s how it works or frightened that she is plotting me falling out of a window at some point.
You’re right! I may tear my house apart today trying to find that note again. It’s a keeper.
That is FANTASTIC.
But I’d stay away from open tower windows.
These are so funny! I laughed out loud at the Tom Thumb sign. We don’t have those so I’ve never taken a good look at the sign, even though I’ve seen them. Now I’m only going to see the sunburned man in his underwear whenever we are on vacation. :) And I love the stripper/jeans conversation. Some people just can’t help taking everything too seriously.
I just can’t figure out why he remembered to put sunblock on his legs, but not his stomach…
Well his belly looks a bit rounded. Maybe he fell asleep on the beach and it poked out the bottom of his shirt.
I stumbled across your blog quite by accident….but I must profess…I made it a fave and I keep coming back…People need to get a life…bluejeans and stuff…and arguing over it…good grief…it’s your thoughts….
On another note….I know the Woods personally and recommend their B&B highly….Such a delightfully wonderful place to go and relax!
Keep the laughter coming….I feel a movement coming on!
Thanks so much for reading! And yes, the Woods are amazing people. I want to go back and visit very soon! It’s my happy place.
I’m still reeling over the idea that Adele could be Jonathan’s daughter. Ai, yi, yi!
Aging isn’t fun, is it?
Literally two minutes after I read this post, I heard a commercial on the radio for a NKOTB/98 Degrees/Boyz 2 Men concert. (And it wasn’t the uber-popular, urban radio station–it was the “in the 35-45 age group and still trying to stay hip” station.) There’s just something kind of disturbing to me about watching a 44-year-old man perform “The Right Stuff” and “Hangin’ Tough.” Which are the only to NKOTB songs I know.
If they’re going to insist on continuing to tour, I think they should have to rewrite the lyrics to their songs to include taking in a proper amount of fiber, shaving stray nose hairs, and getting an annual prostate exam.
I love “Skip the drama, stick with momma.” Debbie V–find that sign for me!!
Good morning! I wanted to tell you that I originally found your blog after a Downton abbey search…but have thoroughly enjoyed the jeans / butt posts. As an old mom, I have a fear of long-butt and mom-jeans, though I am pretty sure that no pair of jeans can make me look much less than my 52 years! That said, I read your comment about having “good” jeans….I don’t suppose you have any of the original Lucky easy rider jeans? I loved them and found them flattering…but then they began manufacturing them in Mexico and the fit and quality are very different. I would love to hear if vault might have them!
I’m glad to know that other things attract people other than my butt! Err…you know what I mean.
I do not have any Lucky jeans. The Lucky jeans at the Lucky stores (and at Nordstrom Rack and the like) are still good quality. The ones they sell at Sam’s and Costco are terrible. I don’t know if that helps, but sourcing is everything when jeans start cheapening their brand!
Do wot mommy ses – so funny! I love it!
Man, I’m young enough to be Johnathan’s daughter. Weird.
Ali doesn’t have curly hair anymore, does she? I was sad when Elizabeth lost her curls but since her hair is now more like mine it does make doing stuff with it easier!
Also. That sign is Hilarious!
No, her curls fell out last year. I was so sad!! And now it’s just extraordinarily tangly all the time, so I wouldn’t say it’s easier…
About the Tom Thumb sign: YES! I have thought this for years. Everyone I mention it too thinks I am slightly imagining things, but seriously, yes. A man in tighty whities.
I am so glad I’m not the only one. How could their marketing people not see that?
Oh man, so much fun in one post. I couldn’t help but laugh at the running together of the words “child’s hands” (and the glaring lack of punctuation) before I even noticed the “movement” part – so all I could picture was Kristen Wiig in one of the finger lake sisters SNL skits. I also love to scroll down on news stories and read the ridiculous comments that folks will post. It’s like a playground for drama queens (and kings). And please, please frame Ali’s note!!