The Hundredth Day of School is entirely a millennial fabrication as far as I can tell, but a much needed one. Because after the climax of the Christmas Season (and, for us, two birthdays), the rest of the winter feels like drudgery – both in school and in weather.
So although I am not, on most days, one of those homeschool Moms who tries to make everything spectacular and jubilescent (I know that’s not a word but it should be), I do attempt to be that Mom on the Hundredth Day of School.
Because we all need it.
This year, we started our morning out with a “100” breakfast.
The kids were so shocked that I was actually cooking something for breakfast that they both forgot me telling them the day before what we’d be celebrating.
Ali was rather grumpy about the whole thing, and extra annoyed that I kept trying to get her to figure out why it was a special day by looking at her breakfast.
(I swear. My juice was just sparkling grape juice. Somebody had to drink it since the kids wouldn’t – Noah said it tasted like soap and Ali said it was awful spicy.)
The longer I tried to make her figure it out, the grumpier she got.
“But what does your sausage LOOK LIKE? A …. one, right?”
“NO. It looks like a sausage.”
“Okay. Well, what about your pancakes? What do they look like? Don’t they look like zeroes?”
“They look like circles and pancakes. Nothing else. NOTHING ELSE!!”
Noah was too busy enjoying his fancy glass of apple juice to care what day it was.
Finally I spelled it out for her, and she was relieved to be sprung from a wretched existence of guessing.
Next came Hundredth Day of School Presents.
Before you say to yourself “now isn’t she just ridiculous!”, I promise I’m not. We had first day of school presents whose chief goal was to keep Noah semi-satisfied during school hours, and I had random gifts hanging around in my closet for refreshes on this purpose (it’s cheaper than Mother’s Day Out), so I just pulled some stuff out and stuck it in a bag.
I didn’t even put tissue paper in those bags.
And Noah got a holiday-appropriate “Learn to Count” Lego train.
And then we had to actually start school.
I printed out the exact same writing prompt sheet that I gave Ali last year – half because I was lazy, and half because I wanted to see what changed from Kindergarten to First Grade.
I was more surprised by what didn’t change.
Is (eyes) / satan’s
ckrafts / dot’s
jele bens / switish fish (Swedish Fish are a favorite candy right now)
petsas (Pizzas) / Jient Fish
Dogs / Dog’s
Si ol my frins (see all my friends) / go to heven
thro them / buy a lot
While she worked on that, I used her brand new Gel Markers (okay they were for me not her) to make her a Factor sheet, also copying what I did last year.
The great thing about this year, though, is that she was able to come up with most of them herself, with just a few ideas from me.
Meanwhile, Noah was across the table, blissfully happy with his numbers train. And I was trying my best not to cringe from his out-of-order numbers.
I managed to pry him away to participate in crown-making – the idea was to put 100 stickers on each crown.
He placed five.
I placed ninety-five.
This fact did not make him at all reticent about admiring himself in my iPhone camera.
(In case you’re wondering, he lost his shirt at breakfast thanks to that fancy cup.)
Meanwhile, Ali was placing two stickers, writing down what number she was at, drawing auxiliary art, getting distracted, placing two more stickers….I was ready to go to heaven, too, before she finally finished.
But she did. And they posed. And we moved on to other schoolwork.
The final thing I did was show them what they would look like as old people, thanks to the AgingBooth app.. Technically not a hundred years old, but I’m the teacher and I told them so.
Either way, they were amused.
(At least he gets to keep his dimples,)
And yes, I even aged myself. I think the program was especially unkind to my jowls.
And this is why you shouldn’t have front facing, clear photos of yourself lying around on my phone. Because lucky Chris – he got off without being aged.
At the end of the day, I received the ultimate compliment from Ali – one that I don’t expect to ever receive again.
“Going to Gramamma’s house is fun, but the Hundredth Day of School was even more fun.”
I guess this means that I should attempt to be one of those homeschool Moms more often.
But don’t worry – I won’t.