“You should get the Grouper. You love Grouper, and it’s the catch of the day!!”
I scowled at him. “Are you kidding? It says ‘Market Price’!! I totally don’t know how much that is!”
“Oh come on. You can ask if you’re that hung up about it. I’m sure it’s about the same price as all of the other entrees.”
“Nope. I’ll just get something else.”
“Didn’t you want to get some strawberries for the kids? Here they are.”
I looked all around. “Yes, but… I don’t see the price anywhere. I’ll just wait.”
“You’ve really got a complex about this whole shampoo thing, don’t you?”
I calmly promised. “Mark my words. I will never buy anything. Ever again. Without knowing the price first.”
Backing up to Friday morning…
I needed more shampoo and conditioner.
I went to my favorite salon store to browse through their half-off room.
(Being that I have long, thin, easily breakable hair, I find it necessary to use nice shampoo in order to keep it from looking like four-day-old roadkill. And since Chris is the one who insists that I keep it long, he gives me an unlimited hair product budget.)
(However, I do all of our bills and budget, and I can’t stand paying full price for much of anything, hence my obsession with the half-off room.)
I didn’t have the kids with me, so I decided to go ahead and stock up for a few months while I had full use of all of my limbs. I found a couple of conditioners that would work, but I was having trouble finding a shampoo that was color-safe. I picked up a bottle that said it was perfect for every type of hair and every follicular need.
Sure it is. I’m sure they all say that.
However, it looked promising, so I took it – despite the fact that it didn’t seem to have a price marked.
That’s okay – all liter bottles of salon shampoo cost about the same – $30 full price, $15 half price. I’m sure it’s right around there somewhere.
I took all of my products up front. I asked the girl at the counter (who had excitedly tried to help me when I came in so as to earn her commission) if she thought that the shampoo would be okay on color treated hair.
She half-laughed, and said, “Oh yeah. It will be just fine.”
I puzzled over her laughter, but let it go.
She rang up all of my products, and as I had my hand mid-air to swipe my card, she called out my total.
Unfortunately, by the time my brain registered the too-big-to-be-on-Sesame-Street number she had just spoken, my hand had already completed the swiping motion.
“Whoa. Wait a minute – that sounds way too high.”
“A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS!?!? What in the world was a hundred and fifty dollars???”
“Nothing was. But that shampoo was originally $150 – you only paid $75. It’s the most expensive thing we’ve ever carried in this store. It’s probably the most expensive shampoo in the world. That’s why they quit making it.”
“I don’t want a hundred and fifty dollar shampoo! I want to return it.”
“It was seventy-five dollars. And you can’t return it. (she motioned to the ‘NO RETURNS OR EXCHANGES’ sign behind her) But I know a few people who use it, and they say it’s awesome!!”
“No. I. Do. Not. Want. That. Shampoo. I haven’t left the store, and I barely finished my purchase before I said I didn’t want it. There has to be something you can do.”
“Well…since you haven’t left the store…I guess I can exchange it for some other products.”
“Oh good grief – I’m going to have shampoo for a year. Maybe next time you might consider telling someone that it’s the most expensive shampoo in the world before they buy it?”
“I guess so…”
That wasn’t very convincing.
I left my two week’s worth of groceries shampoo up front and went to find reasonable things to exchange it for, carefully checking all prices first. I came back with a gigantic armful of hair care to equal the amount of that sinfully expensive bottle.
“Look how much shampoo you were able to get!! Isn’t that great?”
Because I totally planned on coming in here and dropping that kind of cash today.
Thank you SO much for your awesome help.
Enjoy your commission – buy the Catch of the Day on me.