So yesterday during the kid’s naptimes, (also known as my only work time), my blog went down.

Like, DOWN down.

Like, so down that I couldn’t even get to my admin page down.

And then – it stayed down.  For sixteen hours.

One can go through a lot of emotions in sixteen hours.

1. Denial.  No – it’s not down. My computer is just screwed up.  Let’s try it on my iPhone.

2. Franticness.  It’s not coming up on my iPhone either! Maybe this other computer? Maybe the iPad? Maybe I could walk over to my neighbor’s house and try it there?  An internet café, maybe!!  Maybe I should call one or ten friends to see if they can get it to come up?

3. Horror. Oh.  It’s DOWN down.  Like baby get low, low, low, low on the dance floor down.

4. Re-Denial.  Surely this will only last for a few minutes.  Surely it will pop up any second now…

5. Worst Case Scenarioing.  What if I’ve been hacked again?  What if my site is being used for a giant offshore banking scheme?  What if my URL is currently being utilized to swindle people out of millions of dollars in order that they may accept their fifteen billion dollar inheritance from a fake African Prince?

6. Mass Pleas for Help.  Surely someone can help me.  Email my hosting company.  Email WordPress.  Email Vaultpress.  Email random dude who once helped me with my blog problems.  Email the Pope.  Email Barack.  Email Nostradamus.  Email Honey Badger.

7.  Attempted Ignoring.  Go do something else.  Anything else.  Perhaps the dishes.  Or mop the floors.  Or slowly pluck out every hair on my left arm. ANYTHING.

8.  Shame.  Obviously this whole blog thing is too important to me.  I must quit immediately before it overtakes and swallows me whole.  Yes, blogging must end.  Maybe this is goodbye.

9.  Justification.  No, it’s okay to be upset about a hobby that you love.  I bet that dude with the world’s largest aluminum foil ball would be pretty torn up if someone came and chopped a side off of it.

10.  Suspicion.  Who hacked my blog?? Did YOU hack my blog?? No – it was YOU!!  I just knew you really hated me deep down on the inside!!

11. Back of the Mind Consumption.  Okay.  The kids are awake.  It’s still not up, but it’s time to get back to real life… even if I can’t forget what has happened.

12. Semi-Relief.  Here’s an email from the hosting company – my server is messed up.  They’re fixing it as fast as they can.  At least I know that it wasn’t an evil Bangladeshian Hacker.

13. Sleep.  Sleep will make it all better.  Surely when I wake, all will be right in the world.

14.  Dreams.  It’s back up!! It’s back down.  It’s back up!!  Leonard Nemoy is eating it.  A Brazilian Caterpillar is dancing on my server!! Whoa – is that Kung Fu Panda dancing across my blog?

15. Inability to Face Reality.  I think I’ll hit snooze one more time – I’m not ready to find out the fate of my attitude today.

16. Re-Shame.  Snooze… what kind of awful person am I that I don’t want to get out of bed because I’m afraid my blog is still down??? Must quit blogging immediately.

17. Wary Joy.  It’s back up – for reals.  Or is it?  I will never feel secure in my bloghood again.

(If you’re still having trouble with it, let me know. Or don’t – you might send me back into The Tailspin of Blog Angst.)

15 thoughts on “The Stages of Blog Failure Emotions.

  1. Huzzah! Daily dose of chuckles is back. All is right with the world again (notice that I haven’t been reading you very long, and yet you are now a part of my world-rightness…that’s either a really big compliment or a little creepy…or both).

    1. Not creepy at all — thanks for missing me!! You’re the only person who emailed me asking where I was, so you get super-extra credit this month and the Caring Blogger of the Year award!!

  2. Oooh… I hate it when this happens. My internet was down for a *week* once, and I was crawling the walls. Which is ridiculous, because, I like, totally don’t even care. Or whatever.

  3. Well, I guess this is how we distinguish the real bloggers from the amateurs. First, I probably wouldn’t even know if my blog is down, and if I did, I would be like “oh, well, I’ll try it again tomorrow.” :)

  4. Rach, did you really say “for realS”?!!! I suppose you typed it but I’m dying to hear you say it :) Hahahaha!!

  5. LOL. Sorry you had to go through that stressful process. I agree with Gina. I probably wouldn’t even notice that my blog was down. But then I don’t have the fan base that you do either. Haha :) Anyway, glad you’re up and running again!

  6. Rachel, this is a priceless post! Yes, I can relate to every single step along the way, as I would be doing it all too. Glad your blog is back up & congrats on getting it out on Blogher. Thank you so much for your support & stopping by to say all of that on my last post. It is so much appreciated! Miss you too, maybe one of these days I will be back over there.

    1. Thanks Rhoda!! We’re coming to Atlanta this weekend for two Vault Denim parties I have over there – I’ll definitely wave in your general direction!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *