It’s only fitting that I begin this post the way my phone call to Chris started out.

“Everybody is OKAY.  However…”

I blame it all on Noah.

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You see, he chose to wear his X-Ray Jammies Tuesday night.

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… and I didn’t realize that this was an ominous premonition on his part.

Wednesday morning.

I had high hopes of accomplishing much, as the day before, a nasty computer virus and resulting day-killing completely-unintelligible phone conversation with Mister Karthikayan (think, “Hello, thees ees Peggy!”) stole my good attitude and all of my productivity opportunities.

Noah and I went downstairs first, and I got Noah settled into his exersaucer while I started the coffeemaker and pulled out cereal bowls.  I heard Ali coming down the stairs.

Then I heard Ali coming down the stairs very quickly.  And loudly.

My child is neither quick nor loud.  Ever.

I panicked.  As I began my run toward the stairs, I heard her shock wear off, resulting in the initial scream.

Nearly five years old, and she had just taken her first fall down the stairs.

I got around the corner, and she was only halfway down, but sprawled completely out, over 5 stairs (hardwood, by the way), face down, superman style, screaming insanely.

My Mommy heart dropped through the floor.

I sprinted up the stairs and picked her up, all the while thinking that I probably should have checked to make sure nothing was broken before grabbing her up like that.

I held her.  She cried out-of-control on my shoulder.  I managed to not cry by repeating mumbled phrases of comfort under my breath.

(Noah, meanwhile, was laughing maniacally from the other room, just as he always does when his sister (or mother) cries.  I’m choosing to believe that this is a case of mixed-up emotion comprehension, not sadistic little brotherdom.)

She finally looked up at me and I realized that we were both covered in blood.

OhNoNoNoNo….

Through her completely out-of-control screaming, I managed to inspect where the blood was and was not coming from.

Nose – Yes.

Face – No.

Mouth – thank you for holding your mouth open so widely with that ear piercing scream – thankfully, no.

Then I began to inspect her nose more closely.  It looked gigantically bulbous as if she had just grown my family’s Greek Nose in five minutes.  And a bit crooked.

NoNoNoNo.  No more broken noses in this house!!!

She finally calmed down enough to tell me what did and did not hurt.

No arms or legs were hurting at all – just her forehead and her chin.

“Your nose doesn’t hurt?”

“No, my nose doesn’t hurt.”

That kind of worried me more… then where is all that blood coming from??

We headed straight to the doctor.  No coffee, no breakfast.  I began pondering the act of telling them that she had fallen down the stairs.

…which seems like the ultimate bad parent version of “The dog ate my homework” – so clichè.

I swear I’m a good parent…I swear I’m a good parent…

I asked her on the way… “How do you think you managed not to hurt your arms or legs at all? That’s pretty amazing…”

“Well, that’s because my head is hard but my arms and legs are soft.”

“Oh.  True…”

We arrived and waited for our turn.  I began to realize that we were being considered a same-day fit-in (Priority Number Last) rather than an emergency (Priority Number One).

…which made me ponder the fact that other families – say, ones with less anal-retentive-unbelievably-cautious children – probably have this sort of thing happen all the time.  Maybe this wasn’t as much of an emergency as I feared.  Maybe I just have no experience whatsoever with injuries.

calm down…calllllm down….

Ali was already calm and had completely moved on.  “Nothing hurts anymore, Mommy! Look! I’m under the TV! Hey – can I climb on that shelf? Where’s my computer? They’re not going to give me a shot, are they?  Why is Noah still in his jammies? And hey – you left my jammie shirt on, too!!”

The nurse came and got us.

“What happened to you?”

I immediately begin feeling the need to assure her that my child fell down the stairs and that this never happens and she’s usually so careful and…I probably sounded ridiculously suspicious in my efforts to quell any and all suspicions.

I was sure that those notes the nurse was taking were something along the lines of “parent seems overly nervous and appears to be repeating herself continuously…hmm.” 

While we waited for the doctor, Ali wanted to see what she looked like.  Having no mirror on my person, I took an iPhone pic and showed her.

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“I look really funny!! I like it.”

“Then you’d probably also like to start watching Star Trek TNG.  Ever seen a Klingon?”

The doctor came in and took a look.  I consciously made the effort to quit trying to not appear suspicious.

He assured me that it looked to be completely surface injuries, but ordered an x-ray, most likely for my peace of mind.

The X-Ray tech was unusually insistent that I didn’t have to come to the x-ray room, or even wait outside the door.

After a grueling eternity and a half, Ali came back.

“How was your picture taking?”

“It was good.  She took three pictures of me!!  And we talked.”

“Oh really? What did you talk about?”

“I told her that I fell down the stairs.  And what I was doing when I fell down the stairs.”

“What were you doing when you fell down the stairs?”

“Well, I was walking down the stairs.”

“Oh.  Yes, that makes sense.”

I could almost sense the X-Ray tech’s note on my file… “Child’s story lines up with mother’s…she appears to have actually fallen down the stairs.  Perhaps send the mother home with some household safety brochures.”

The X-Rays came back – there were no fractures.  Everything appeared to just be some really ugly surface bruising.

I began to breathe again.

And Ali became very proud of her new look, excited to show anyone and everyone.

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(The Peanut Butter mouth was not a part of the aforementioned injuries.)

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And amidst all of the injury hoopla, Ali had one friend close by her side.  I even heard that she got x-rayed, too.  And I’m pretty sure that once you’ve worn your owner’s blood, you definitely become a real bunny.

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…but I’m really dreading finding out what happens next time that Noah wears his Alien Jammies.

50 thoughts on “Brought to You By The Letter X, for X-Ray.

  1. Ouch! Poor thing. I’m glad nothing was broken. My mom used to nag me about breaking falls with my hands, so I must have done a few face plants as a kid. I’m still very graceful. Not.

  2. I’m so glad that she is OK. E was sad to see that Ali got hurt, but he didn’t think she looked “funny.” He thought she looked like Ali. Give her a big hug for us!

  3. Even though I knew she was fine, my heart was racing in Mommy Empathy reading this. Holy cow!! Thank goodness she’s okay. That is NOT a way to begin a day.

  4. I am glad she is proud of her new look, it made me cry. I can not believe how cautious she is that she fell, but you know it had to happen sooner or later. She probably just got distracted. Her first real bruises. How is she on doing the stairs now? I do not want her to afraid of the stairs.

    1. Shockingly enough, she’s fine with stairs!! I’m still a bit freaked out, though – I keep telling her “CAREFULLY go downstairs.” and “BE CAREFUL!!!”

      1. Actually, it’s still fairly warm down here in Alabama, so she was in bare feet – that’s better than gripper socks! She says she tripped, poor thing.

  5. Okay, so two things, first I’m really sorry, but I was laughing throughout the entirety of this post. I know it wasn’t funny at the time, but your description was hilarious!

    Second, you know your blogger when you’re taking your bruised up 5 year old to the doctor after a tumble down the stairs and thinking..”This is blogging GOLD!”

    Thanks for the laugh and in all seriousness I’m so glad she’s okay and that the Dr. didn’t call DHR. ;)

    1. Actually, oddly enough, I wasn’t even thinking about blogging it in the moment. And even after I wrote it, I was criticizing my sporadic writing on this post. I guess it translated out of my stressed-out mind better than I thought! :)

  6. And to top it off she took another sprawling face-plant on the floor of the fellowship hall last night at church. Poor baby. I held my breath until I saw the two of you come out of the bathroom looking like nothing happened. I wonder if it has something to do with a growth spurt. Sometimes that makes them feel a bit awkward and clumsy.

    1. Yes. I couldn’t believe it when that happened!! And she’s usually so sure on her feet. Maybe you’re right – maybe all of this can be chalked up to a terribly unfortunate growth spurt.

  7. O MY GOSH!! I am SOOOO glad she’s alright! That could have been terrible! It’s great that she finds the humor in the situation by finding things like massive bruising to be cool!

    We have stairs in our townhouse and I have nightmares about Landen (16 months and perfectly capable of climbing over/under baby gates), or me (pregnant with disproportionately distributed weight), or me AND Landen taking a tumble!

    Anyway, I’m glad there were no broken bones, sprained/strained joints, knocked out teeth, or child abuse reports! :) Take care!

    1. Now I’ll probably have nightmares!!

      Oddly enough, Ali never tried to go down the stairs by herself until she was old enough. But being old enough doesn’t necessarily stop everything!

  8. Oh goodness. There is no more terrifying sound than that of a child (or spouse) crashing down the stairs. For what it’s worth, if the nose ever looks crooked, they COULD x-ray it, but there’s so much cartilage still in their nose, an ER doc told us half the time, it still wouldn’t tell them if it was broken. Your best bet is to take them to a chiropractor, get it set for the cost of one adjustment, and not have to pay ER or x-ray fees. We learned this the hard way. Arnica gel will help with the swelling, too. Hugs to everybody!

    1. Interesting! And good to know. Thanks!! Once the swelling went down, her nose looks fine. I hope it stays that way. I, however, need a chiropractor adjustment from the stress of it.

  9. Poor girl. She looks like a fighter. I think you always follow your gut when it comes to those things…better to go in and get checked than wonder. And yeah, my kids are 19 mths and 3 and both have had multiple falls down the stairs. Never that bad looking though…hope she feels better fast.

  10. Ohh poor Ali and poor Mama…I totally would have went to the doctor too. I’m glad she’s ok! But you had me laughing when you said Noah was laughing..that’s pretty funny. He looks so big in that picture already!

  11. OH NO! So sorry to hear this!!!!!!!! Lol on the alien jammies tho! Haylee fell down the steps when she was 2-ish. I remember that feeling of hearing the thump, thump, thump and knowing what had happened! Awful! She was only wearing a shirt and diaper and the steps were tile with the metal reinforcers. She ended up being totally fine thankfully!

  12. YOWCH! poor thing! But in defense of Noah, I get my emotions mixed up too. Put me in a very sad, awkward, scary situation – I laugh. I laughed at my grandpa’s funeral WHILE I was playing a flute duet … I laugh all the time at church. Poor Noah. There may be no hope for him….

  13. Oh my, bless her heart. Really, bless her heart. :) Poor thing. I am glad she is proud of her bruises though and that is absolutely amazing that that is the first time you have had to rush to the doctor with a semi-emergency. Amazing.

    By the way, I didn’t get a chance to leave a comment on your weight loss post. Congrats and you look great!

  14. Okay I am laughing out loud at the alien jammies. :)

    But oh goodness those bruises look bad! Isn’t it amazing how resilient kids are? That kind of fall would put an adult totally out of commission. Glad nothing is broken.

    K would have probably opened her mouth and managed to knock out ALL her front teeth. Ugh. No fun for Mommy when the kiddos get hurt! Hope you have a nice, calm, safe, weekend! :)

  15. When I was 4 I fell off of a stool and broke my collar bone. My mom took me to the Dr. 3 times before someone saw the fracture. Once they discovered that 3 days passed since my injury the hospital staff separated me from my mom and questioned both of us. My mom said she never felt so horrible even though this was her THIRD attempt to get me help.

    Lesson learned – take the kid to the doc I’d rather be safe than childless ;)

  16. SO glad she’s ok… and good for her to like how it looks and not feel horribly embarrassed by her new looks! (Not that I think she should.) When I was a kid I once sent an empty suitcase down the stairs, waited a moment then shrieked on April Fool’s Day. Now that I’m a parent I don’t find that to be as funny as I did at the time.

    Yesterday my toe got caught on the baby gate as I stepped over it with my son in my arms. It was sickening to see his little head bounce on the hardwood floor, but I guess my hand must have been between him and the floor after all as there is no goose egg or bruise. Other than the scare the only consequence was the cut on my toe where it caught on the gate. Thank you, God!

  17. Can’t believe a little bit of bruising/swelling is all she got! That’s quite impressive! I can’t imagine what your nerves were like waiting to find out that’s all it was though. Yikes!

  18. Poor Ali and Momma. I know that feeling. I was terrified when Ella fell down the stairs. Glad she is okay. Those are some impressive marks on her face.

  19. So glad she is ok! I never knew you could have that butterfly falling feeling for someone else, until I became a mother. And oh, those first children are much more cautious than the ones that follow. You might just consider this Ali “breaking you in” (hahaha) for Noah to come. Not that I’m predicting anything, just speaking from second child experience.

    1. Noah can only be less cautious than Ali, because it is impossible for any human being to be more cautious!! And plus, he’s already showed a bit more of an adventurous spirit. I’m pretty scared…

  20. Yowch! Time to bring out the cotton wool! I’ve had a few of those moments especially with my youngest niece, but often my fault (I can still hear the sound of Maria’s lip bursting when I let her walk on her own in winter boots. She tripped, I tried to catch her and pivoted her facefirst into the ground instead. Horrible!)

    Hope Ali is feeling better and not falling over anything else! My brother went through a phase of falling UP the stairs for a while. Less scary than down but still managed some impressive bruising of his own!

  21. First of all, Noah grew up when I wasn’t looking.

    And second, that’s QUITE the bruise Ali got! Very impressive, indeed. She’s earned her stripes for sure!

    Loved seeing you last week … sorry I’m so far behind in my Reader that I’m just now getting around to these posts. I still have “1000+” mocking me every time I turn my laptop on. One day …

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