The following inner dialogue occurred Friday morning, directly after my second trip in three days to the Pediatrician’s office.
I drove around to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru window for like the ninety-dozenth time in the past three weeks…she gave me my order and then perkily chirped,
“Here’s your large coke and your small lemonade! You’re all set!!”
I’m all set??
ALL SET?!?
Do you KNOW what my last three weeks have been like?
No? Let me fill you in.
It all started the Sunday before Labor Day when my four year old woke up at 3 AM with a 102 degree fever. We skipped church and forewent any Labor Day plans, spending copious amounts of time sitting on the couch and watching such classics as Tangled and discussing the deep philosophical questions therein such as why Mother Gothel says she’s teasing so much in great depths and on repeat.
Then, immediately after Ali recovered late Labor Day afternoon, Tropical Storm Lee paid an uninvited visit and left with our fine china and power.
Okay, he didn’t steal the fine china because we don’t have any, but he did take our power.
What followed was 52 hours of powerless hell.
Okay, it wasn’t hell, but it wasn’t fun either. YOU try entertaining, feeding, napping, schooling, and in general raising two kids without power. I hear they did it regularly at some point in history, but I don’t believe that sort of hogwashery.
Then, right as we got our power returned to us, Chris decided to enjoy his own serving of Ali’s fever virus, all while being in the middle of multiple projects at work with coinciding deadlines and therefore needing to spend his fever-filled evenings-after-the-kids-were-asleep working until midnight or later.
He recovered, but work did not. He continued to work unsavory amounts of work through the next two weeks, as the kids and I hung on for dear life on our own.
(And yes, Chick-Fil-A lady, I totally get that all of these circumstances are oh-so-temporary and completely ridiculous compared to many people’s much bigger problems, but I’m sure that all Mommies would agree that when a Mom is in the middle of Mommy Warfare, it’s really hard not to become exhausted and start looking feverishly for a refund on one’s month.)
Then the next week, I came down with illness. Thankfully, I recovered quicker than my fellow family members, but ill Mommy is never fun – for anyone.
And finally, this week, after bragging to Noah’s Pediatrician that he had only been sick twice in his whole life and those were just piddly little colds, he came down with The Fever Virus to End All Fever Viruses, shooting his temperature over 103 for three days.
And you know what, Chick-Fil-A lady? I learned something about my son during his illness. He prefers to spend his fevered hours awake. Completely awake. Completely awake and with Mommy in his tight grasp. Completely awake and with Mommy in his tight grasp and fussing all the while.
So I spent this week staying up until 2:15 AM one night and 4:30 AM the next night, rocking my poor sickly baby and reminiscing about my younger, not-so-close-to-30 years when staying up to these sorts of hours came more naturally.
And WOW did acting like a teenager again make me feel young!! And vibrant!! And wild!! And invigorated!!
Okay. NotSoMuch.
So, Chick-Fil-A lady, you see that all of these circumstances have led to this very moment, where I find myself, for the first time in months, breaking down and ordering a real Coke, and on top of that, a LARGE real coke, DESPITE the fact that there is only a week to go before my final weigh-in that will forever settle who rocks the most in mine and Chris’ six month long weight loss competition.
And from what I hear, he’s winning by 0.3% – so this coke matters.
So no, I am NOT all set. My baby is still feverish, my body is still nearly non-functioning from exhaustion, my husband will probably win our bet, my kids aren’t quite back to normal, and I’m still turning 30 in two weeks.
But oh… this coke tastes GOOOOOD.
Okay, I’m all set now.
Epilogue: After a shocking six hour nap directly after the desperate purchase of that healing coke, Noah woke up fever-free. Chris and I got to enjoy a recovery date the next day, and I am using The Mommy Force (and ridiculous amounts of chocolate) to will this new week into a better direction.
You deserved that real Coke. Badly. And lots of chocolate! Calories don’t count when you are under duress like that!
I agree! Or at least you should have extra rations for Service Under Duress.
You do deserve the coke but you must win the competition with Chris for all the women out here. You looked fabulous Saturday and do not to lose any weight but it is a matter of bragging rights, you know, just like football. I pray all will be well for a long time now.
I am going to try my best – I really will. But i fear he may overcome me yet…
You have been through the ringer and are coming out on the other side! I offer you a “Bless your heart.” Not the snarky, southern belle kind, but a genuine, full of love and empathy kind. So glad that much is looking up. Lastly, beat Chris. Beat him bad. For all us gals.
Yes, you definitely deserved that coke. I know exactly what you mean!!! So hope you win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sounds like a huge helping of suck. You really needed that coke to wash it all down. Hopefully things are going better for you this week, because you need to hunker down and beat Chris.
I am certainly going to try my best, but at this moment I’m not feeling hopeful. But maybe the underdog can pull it out!!
What a rough few weeks. Nothing worse than a cranky, sick baby who can’t/won’t sleep (well maybe there is but I can’t think of it right now). Those fever viruses are NASTY. Here’s hoping that the next few weeks are easy and wonderful (one can hope right?!)
I’ve always preferred Ali to get a fever virus over anything else because it just makes her sleepy and cuddly. Noah, NotSoMuch. I’ll take anything else any day.
Oh man…you have had a rough couple of weeks. I’m sorry! But I was happy to read at the end that things seem to be getting back on the right track for you. Kids and viruses…yuck!
Btw, my husband and I watched Storm Chasers last night and they showed the tornado that hit Tuscaloosa and Birmingham. I was thinking about you the entire time! My husband thought I was crazy to be talking about some blog-girl I’ve never met, but he doesn’t understand the blog world. :)
I haven’t seen the storm chasers documentation of it, but I want to!! Thanks for thinking of me – I totally understand! Maybe he will too, one day. ;)
I’m sure you’ll still win, think of all the extra calories you burned just be being AWAKE those late hours as opposed to ASLEEP! And who knows what type of sugar-laden therapy Chris has had to resort to in the past few weeks?
Plus all of that lard I’ve been sneaking into his dinners…
my middle one (a boy, the ONLY boy) prefers to spend his feverish time likewise as Noah. My girls totally rock for sick kids. sleep more, demand next to nothing, and watch loads of TV. he is sick far more often than my girls. figures.
Yes, Ali on a fever virus is really not bad. Noah, on the other hand – WOW. I hope we don’t do that again for a very long time.
I think you will totally understand where I am coming from when I tell you that I ordered a LARGE, REAL coke for lunch in the CFA drive thru today!
Oh I’m so sorry!!! I Hope your week only gets better from here.
When life spits lemon juice in your eye, you’re allowed to cry! I hope you get a period of calm after all that turmoil! :)
Also, the very fact that you’re keeping up with Chris is amazing ‘cos men do lose weight much more easily than women (not fair, but true!).
PS- did I remember you using ‘My Fitness Pal’? or is it another app? I’ve been on MFP for nearly three weeks and lost 3 pounds… it’s hard work but good stuff!
Yes, men DEFINITELY lose it easier.
We use Lose It, but I think the two apps are very similar. Congratulations!!!
Ugh, that definitely sounds like you needed the coke! Sorry to hear you guys have been sick. We’ve had something going over here too. K has had a fever since Friday. 102 was the highest it’s been, but it won’t go away. Hopefully she gets over it soon and I’m really hoping that S doesn’t get it!!! No fun.
I hope you guys get well and stay well!! You’re right – it is NO fun.
I decided a long time ago that there are times when things (like chocolate and soda) bring me substantially more happiness (and by happiness, I pretty much just mean “they sorta made an otherwise completely miserable day marginally more bearable for a brief while”) than being a pant size smaller. But then, I wasn’t in a weight loss competition with my husband, who if he loves you at all, would start chugging coke (and perhaps eating Crisco with a spoon?) like nobody’s business right now ;-)
I hope this week is a better one for you!!
Well, he’s been through the ringer the past few weeks too – I’m pretty sure he’s quite intent on beating me, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to succeed!!
Oh my gosh – what a rough, rough week (plus) for you! I think I need chocolate just to help you recover. Did you know that stress burns chocolate calories at twice the rate as exercise? (well, it should anyway! And one of these days I am going to make those Oreo Truffles! =)
Have a MUCH better week!!!
I’ve unfortunately always heard that your metabolism SLOWS when you’re stressed. SO UNFAIR!!!
Oh my!
Yuck! I hope October is a million times better for y’all! If nothing else, you’ll have a month of birthdayness, right? =)
Yes!! I am looking forward to my birthday trip to see Burlap to Cashmere!!!
Wow! Did you just jump into MY life instead of your own? It sounds like we have equally needy, clingy, pitiful baby boys when they are sick!
I’m SO glad you guys are over your fevers, and SOOOOO glad we are too!!
Stay well!
Can I just saw that you are an awesome writer, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time I read the post wandering what catastrophic mommy tragedy was going to happen next!
This reminds me of when Levi was 4 weeks old, all the family had left, and Aubrey came down with some kind of virus and I was literally up all night going from one baby’s room to the next…the only upside was they weren’t both crying at the same time :)