Disclaimer: This post may only make sense if you’ve seen at least 50 Dora The Explorer episodes, preferably repeatedly ad nauseum.

I sometimes wonder if Ali secretly thinks that Dora isn’t exactly the brightest cartoon in the tube.


Because she doesn’t exactly seem to get it.

Dora turns and looks directly at Ali, asks a question such as “Do you see Swiper?? Tell me if you see Swiper!!!”, and then waits, all while awkwardly staring and blinking in Ali’s general direction.

Ali stares, not saying a word.

Ali sees Swiper peek out from behind the bushes…but she still doesn’t say a word.

Dora, responding to Ali’s nonexistent help: “What?? Swiper’s behind me??”

Ali stares.

Dora goes through her odd chant that magically keeps Swiper from swiping (but only if she’s able to repeat it THREE times – no more, no less), and then turns to Ali again.

“Thank you SO MUCH for telling me that Swiper was there!”

Ali just stares, always knowing that Dora will think she helped, regardless of whether she actually does or not.

Yes, Dora might have a few connections loose.

But if Dora could REALLY see Ali’s complete unwillingness to help her and indifference to her immediate peril… I think it’d go something like this:

“Do you see Swiper?? Tell me if you see Swiper!!”

Swiper pops up behind Dora, looks to the right, looks to the left, looks at Ali, realizes that Ali isn’t going to tell Dora that he’s there, and jumps out of the bushes and puts Dora in a chokehold.

Dora, gagging: “ACK!!  Why didn’t you tell me that Swiper was right behind me, you lazy brat?!?  Don’t you realize I’m not exactly three dimensional?? It’s not like I can turn around as easily as you!!”

Ali stares.

Dora manages to wrangle free of the chokehold and run down the path.

“Phew!  I got away!!  No thanks to you.  But I’ll let you sing with me anyway.  Let’s sing ‘We Did it!!’”

Dora begins singing her braggy song and shaking her butt in Typical-Dora-Fashion.

Ali stares.

Dora stops singing and glares at Ali…“SING, YOU LITTLE PUNK!!!”

Ali stares.

Dora storms off to the next obstacle in her journey.  She arrives at The Laughing Mountain…

“OH NO! This mountain is so steep!! How will I ever climb it?  I’ll need YOUR HELP! Put your hands up like this and CLIMB! CLIMB!”

Ali stares.

Dora sings, a bit manically… “PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!  CLIMB! CLIMB! …. I said CLIMB! CLIMB!”

Ali stares.

“Listen here, kid.  Just because your Mommy is letting you sit comatose in front of the television doesn’t give you the right to be THIS lazy.  Here I am trying to climb this mountain that has a 99% grade but will magically only have a 20% grade when I start climbing it, and you’re too lethargic to even pretend you’re climbing a mountain?!?  I wish I’d thrown you into the Gooey Geyser three episodes back!!”

Ali stares.

In one last leap into anger-induced insanity, Dora begins dancing around with wild and dangerous eyes, and gets all sarcastic with her song…

“You did it, you did it, you did it, hooray!

Because of you, Boots was eaten by snakes,

you did it, hooray!

You wouldn’t help, so the trolls threw Benny off the bridge,

you did it, hooray!

I’m going to have severe back problems from carrying a vacuum in my back pack,

but you don’t care, hooray!!”

Ali stares.

I, on the other hand, would be much more entertained – if only Dora could see.

26 thoughts on “Dora The Ignorer: If Dora Could See.

  1. Are you really supposed to respond and interact with the tv though? I am pretty sure I never did, and I know my little brother didn’t. I probably do more now than I did as a child.
    Tv: Are you looking for love?
    Me: No!
    Tv: Well then try E-Harmony! Blah blah blah!
    Me: You never listen to me *fake sob*
    Tv: Are you tired of trying diet after diet?

    1. In our days of cartoons, you weren’t expected to interact. But in all of the new cartoons, they try desperately to get the kids to interact…and the kids never do. It’s quite puzzling.

  2. yes. exactly. to the T.
    My kids LOVE Dora. My kids don’t know that I despise Dora with an unhealthy passion. good grief, she makes me insane.
    And yes, both of my kids stare blankly at the screen while Dora asks her non-sensical questions, refusing to offer her any help. I guess that’s part of it. Dora stares and blinks at my kids. So that’s what they do back to her. Only makes sense.

  3. Sounds kind of disturbing, but I’ve never seen Dora, just read a hand-me-down book. My niece loves Dora but has never been able to articulate just what is so appealing.

    We’ve started to look for vintage cartoons, although they are harder to buy than I would have thought!

    Maybe what you need is a Dora Wii game, if you want Ali to actually interact with the screen…

    1. …and some of the vintage cartoons are MUCH more disturbing!! They smoke and drink in them, and their language is much “saltier”!! I was shocked re-watching some of the ones I watched as a kid.. but then again, it’s obvious that kids don’t pick up on any of that, becacuse I certainly never did!

  4. LOL! I used to go through this same thing when I nannied…and I’ll be honest, it’s probably 95% of the reason I’ve never introduced K to Dora. It used to drive me nuts when she would just sit there staring and blinking at us and my little Olivia would just sit there staring and blinking back.

    Loved your proposed dialoge with Dora. That would be one HI-larious episode. :)

  5. Ha! I love that I am watching Dora as I read this. Dora and Diego are both annoying. I hate the interacting nature. Ella refuses to do it even if I prompt her. She probably realizes that it is ridiculous too!

    While I wish Dora could see too, I also wish that she could learn some directional sense. By now, she should be able to make her way around the land without having to look at a map every single time AND multiple times an episode!

    Dora is annoying, but Fresh Beat Band is the absolute worst. I try to avoid that one at all cost!

  6. Kristina seems to think the Little Einsteins are equally dumb for not figuring out that Big Jet is right freaking there every other episode. Also, there was one time we were in a hotel and the only cartoons on was Garfield on Cartoon Network which she decided was the greatest show of all time, despite him acting stoned out of his head the whole episode. Little kids totally don’t get little kids television.

  7. Ah!!! Dora is Wade’s favorite show I think… It’s a good trade off though for a few minutes of peace while he’s mesmerized. :)
    I was just thinking TODAY as the kids were watching the Fresh Beat Band, “I wonder what Rachel would have to say about this show??”
    I have to say that the less educational and therefore less interactive shows are much less annoying, ie Tom and Jerry and Scooby doo!

    1. We actually just watched the FBB for the first time a couple of Saturdays ago. And wow – if Ali thought DORA wasn’t that smart … it took a group of 5 … teenagers? adults? … whatever they are – to “figure out” something that Ali had figured out in the first ten seconds!! Yeesh.

  8. I hate Dora and her stupid enormous football shaped head. Why is her best friend a monkey?? Why on earth would her cousin, the professional soccer player call HER to come and save the soccer game? Why would Diego, who is a TRAINED SPECIALIST, and can TALK TO ANIMALS, call her to help him find out what’s wrong with baby bird? And why would he need her help anyway, he’s got “RESCUE PACK! COMIN’ TO THE RESCUE! A RESCATE!” to help him… and how can he hang from a fraying rope with one hand for the 22 minutes it takes for Dora to figure out what to do and get there to help him with the rope that Backpack barfs up? And why does Map always sound like he’s been drinking?!
    Yes. I would pay to watch Swiper choke Dora.
    Although, while Beege stares at the TV, a la Ali, Kee gets up and dances and sings along and stuff… and I swear that Beege used to too.

    1. Oh yes. I could fill an entire BLOG (not just a post) with all of the continuity issues in Dora that drive me crazy. I tend to be a bit of a continuity snob!!

  9. This is a perfect description of this trend in children’s television (and I hate it)! When watching Dora at his grandmother’s, my son will point to the relevant area on the screen, then turn to whatever real human is in the room with him and ask something to the effect of “Why Dora not see Swiper?” I think he’s onto her.

  10. LOL!!! I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday when the boys were watching Special Agent Oso…..why ask the kids things, when 99.9 % are not going to answer! :)

  11. OH that’s good! I personally HATE LOATHE and DESPISE Dora with a passion that is only shared by my aversion to Barney. I think Dora has single handily raised the normal decibel level of children everywhere. Grrrrr, Dora :)

  12. Saturday Night Live has done some Dora sketches in the past that have been extremely funny (albeit, off color). They may be on you tube if you want to look them up. :)

  13. Hmmm. I answer Dora. At the end when she asks, “what was your favorite part?” I always answer with something utterly unrelated. I’ll say “I liked it when Boots bit swiped and got rabies and died.” Without fail, Dora replies, “I liked that, too!” It entertains the kids and prepares them for advanced heckling as they grow.

  14. This is perfection! I have had these thoughts many times.

    Olivia used to just sit and stare, too, and I would wonder if she was too shy. So then I’d start yelling at the t.v. to see if she’d join in.

    Nope. And I just looked like a fool.

  15. LOL!

    I honestly thought that other kids did interact with the tv and have been trying so hard to “model” this behavior for Jack.

    Thanks for the “411”!

  16. I can’t stand Dora. In fact, some annoying made up Barbie princess garbage of a movie was advertised on tv last night and my husband and I were making fun of how ridiculous it looked. After I moment I turned to the Hubby and I said… one day our daughter will want to go see that poorly made movie and we will take her because we love her and when she loves it and laughs the whole time we are going to come home and talk about how it wasn’t that bad and remember that one part where she started laughing so hard… I can’t handle annoying kid stuff. I’m worried for my future.

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