So I have a friend that got peed on by a Lion this week.
At the zoo.
At MY city’s zoo.
And my first thought (after asking her if he was a well-hydrated lion or was she left smelling like thick, nasty Lion Pee all day), was “Why couldn’t that have happened to ME??!! It would have made the BEST BLOG POST EVER!!!”
There are few other hobbies in the world that would make you JEALOUS when your friend gets peed on by a Lion.
Maybe there’s a reason for that.
However, since I know now that you’re dying of curiosity of HOW exactly she managed to get peed on by a lion, here’s her explanation:
“A new exhibit at the zoo shows you how they train the animals. Just some trainers and a fence between you and the lion. The trainer started yelling, “watch out watch out!” and I thought the other trainer was about to get eaten. Then I saw a wall of water coming for us….”
And THAT’S how you get peed on by a Lion.
~~~
We were discussing this Lion-Pee event at our small group the next day, and another oh-so-lucky-with-the-wildlife friend said she was once riding an elephant when it pooped.
At first, I was unimpressed.
Until she continued the story, which put me in awe…
You see, the elephant was potty-trained.
(Apparently, they used one of those Kitty-Toilet-Seats with him.)
He was trained to use a garbage can – with a lid. So her elephant friend walked to the garbage can, lifted the lid off the garbage can with it’s trunk, turned around, backed it on up, and did it’s business. While she was lucky enough to be perched atop.
(I’m assuming he also replaced the lid, but I guess that’d depend on whether it was a male or female elephant.)
Obviously, I’m missing out on the wildlife experiences.
~~~
However, for some reason, these stories DID remind me of one of my childhood animal run-ins.
When I was about Ali’s age, my cat had kittens – a mutty beautiful litter of every variety and color kitten possible.
(No, Noah will not be borrowing that navel-displaying shirt from his Uncle JC. Mainly because I’m pretty sure he still wears it around the house…)
These kittens and I were very close, even though they’d gotten me into a fair amount of undeserved trouble. You see, Mom thought that I kept putting them in my toy box over and over. She kept finding them in there, so she’d take them out, and then fuss at me – over and over. Until one day, justice was served. Mom saw the Mommy cat toting her kittens, one at a time, to the toy box.
I wonder if she still has Mommy Guilt over that false accusation…maybe she does now.
Anyway. As I said, these kittens and I, we were tight. Give a 3 year old a few kittens and watch her enter heaven. So of course, I wanted to keep all of the kittens.
And of course, there was no way that was going to happen.
But, just in case Mom’s False-Accusing-Mommy-Guilt got the best of her and made her cave to my dreams, I watched the Mommy cat care for her kittens as studiously as possible so that I could learn to properly take care of them.
And so, Mom came into my bedroom one day where I was sitting near the Toy Box Nest O’ Kittens, and she noticed that I looked a bit queasy…and hairy.
I had kitten hair on my face, around my mouth, and …. completely coating my tongue. In a nice, thick, multi-colored, wooly blanket.
Washing cats wasn’t nearly as much fun to DO as to watch.
And that’s how I learned where hairballs come from.
I give you credit for admitting you licked those kittens, but hey, you were 3. I'm sure your mom got a laugh at the time, I sure did when I read your post.
Let's hope Noah follows in Mom's footsteps and licks a few kittens. I don't think Ali is cut out for it. The second child earns the right to put odd stuff in their mouth! I think they're sick less too. Just my observation. They build up a resistance or something.
Hahaha. Thanks for the laugh :)
You were soooo cute! and that is soooo gross about the licking!!!!!!
Totally should have happened to you! Just a few minutes after it happened I thought, "This would make a funny blog, too bad it didn't happen when Rachel was with me!!" HA!
I wasn't too impressed with the Lion peeing incident, but the potty-trained elephant story still amazes me!
The face you're making in that last picture reminds me of Ali :)
My friend's mother in law came to visit them in Thailand a year or so ago, and the MIL got bitten by a baby tiger. I mean, I love my MIL, but that would have been an AWESOME blog post if that'd happened to me.
I think the navel-displaying shirt is pretty sexy. Any excuse to get a look at those abs. :)
That black kitten looks just like my Scallop-cat…how cute…
You should go to the zoo and stand around a large animal exhibit until you get peed on by something…of course, hamsters work, too…
I agree with Mama Hen on both issues!
That is hilarious! The lion pee, the potty trained elephant and licking the cats…it's ALL hilarious!
Love the flashback pictures. You look so inncocent and adorable with that little black kitten…was that taken before or after the kitty"bath" incident? :)
It was a WALL of pee? That's the worst! I mean, I've never been hit by any type of pee spray, but a wall…it's gotta be the worst.
Glad it's not just me…lots of times when friends are telling stories, I'm thinking,"Could I rip that off??"!!
I was a deprived child that never went to CEC nor the circus and since the circus is coming to town I begged my husband to take me. He then tried telling me the circus isn't that cool. When he was a kid he got to ride and elephant and it nearly bucked him off. I was SOO JEALOUS. Why couldn't I FALL OFF AN ELEPHANT?? I would have appreciated it so much more than him.
My husband and I like to say that the early stages of crawling and playing for W are his "cat stage." I guess when he is three he might go through a Mama cat stage too. Too cute!