Toddlers are inappropriate. That’s all there is to it, and if you try to explain to them how they’re being inappropriate, it just makes it funnier and, therefore, more desirable behavior.

So, all you can do is hope for Best Case Scenario (BCS): That no one else is around so you can just enjoy the moment without feeling the burning shade of red creeping up through your cheeks.

This week, my BCS score is 2-1.

(I bet you thought this post had something to do with Football, didn’t you? You should know me better than that.)

BCS One: Sunday.

Bloomer Head.

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I mean really, what can you do with that but photograph it and hope it never happens outside of the house especially down the road at a College Toga party?

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Yes, Bloomer Head consisted of running around the house screaming, “I’m a Bloomer Head!!!!” repeatedly.

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Thank goodness she decided to do that AFTER Church, rather than me getting the pleasure of picking Bloomer Head up from Sunday School.


BCS Two: Wednesday.

We watched Tinkerbell, and at lunch, had the following conversation.

“I like it when Tinkerbell says ‘the Main Land is Titterific!!’”

“No baby, Tinkerbell says the Main Land is GLITTERIFIC. There’s a big difference.”

“Oh. Well, I like titterific. Let’s yell titterific together!! TItterific!! Titterific!!”

“No, I don’t think I want to yell titterific.”

“Why not?”

“Umm…Let’s just say Glitterific.”

“I really like Titterific much better. Titterific!! Titterific!!”

“But Glitterific is talking about GLITTER. Isn’t that cooler?”

“I like Glitter….but I sure like Titterific.”

So please, if you hear my child screaming Titterific, please know that it came from TINKERBELL, not Showtime.


WCS One: Monday.

We were at the grocery store, and a lady with a VERY intricate hairdo consisting of a huge stack of small, perfectly coifed hair balls on top of her head (looking much like the Chiquita Grape Lady, if she ever decided to branch out to other fruits) was browsing nearby.

“MOMMY!!! LOOOK AT THAT LADY!!! SHE IS WEARING BLUEBERRIES ON HER HEAD!!!!!”

Yes, because Bloomers on your head is SO much better of a choice than blueberries.

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19 thoughts on “The (In)Appropriateness of Toddlers and the BCS.

  1. Titterific…hilarious!

    I bet it won't be too long before we start seeing Lady Gaga or some other crazy music star wearing bloomers on their head :)

  2. Awesome! Our Abigail just said her first embarrassing thing: at church, she looked at one of our elders and said, "What's wrong with his head?" He was bald.

  3. Love it! I love the innocence that makes them want to scream "Titterific!" at the top of their lungs. So funny!

    At church on Sunday K yelled "AMEN!" at the TOP of her lungs…it was very appropriately timed and everyone thought it was funny but I was so embarrassed when literally EVERY head in the entire church turned and looked at us. :P

    Kids definitely take you out of your comfort zone! Haha:)

  4. My 16 month old loves to yell, ohshe, which out loud sounds like well, exactly what you don't want it to sound like. I write it all down in a journal for her. I consider it all proof that in my old age (because she is probably the one causing me to age) she should take care of me to make up for it. I'll let you know if it works. ;)

  5. I had a time trying to teach Jackson the correct words to "Ring Around the Rosie."

    The "ashes, ashes" part got him every time!

  6. So titteriffic! I think that may be my new word. Also, I think our kids would be best friends. But also amazingly crazy together. :) You crack me up!

  7. I am quite sure that, that could NOT have been funnier..lol
    Reminds me of my 3 yr old boy OD'ing on Dora and announcing to me one day, with a twirl, "When I grow up Mommy, I want to be a b e a u t i f u l princess!!"

  8. I just say your thing about the problems with comments…I found if I hit publish and it doesn't publish, just hit publish again and it will….

  9. I remember when my my son pronounced the letter P as the letter T.

    There was a moment in the grocery store, when he was yelling "I want my SHIP! I want my SHIP!" that I just had to keep my head down and keep shopping.

  10. One day in church, the pastor's sermon referenced a boat race. A young girl (about 3 yrs. old) hollered out suddenly, "GO NUMBER 3!"

    That little girl was me, and it's still one of my favorite memories of church!

    When precious princess hollers about the blueberries on someone else's head, you say, out loud to her "Yes, blueberries are wonderful!" Puts the gawkers off-guard, AND lets you validate your child too! (Plus the giggles you get out of it later)

    Love it!

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