I am officially old.

Because, you see, the first sign of old age is to be completely weirded out by “This Generation’s Music”.

I’ve stayed hip and open-minded for quite a while, but two artists have put me over the edge and, in so doing, over the hill.

Lady Gaga and Ke$ha.

Besides the fact that by adding a dollar sign into your name it takes away any class you may have ever had…

(I think the same thing every time I see the new bank in town – $uperior Bank. Seriously. I am not leaving my money with a bank that sounds like a payday loan shack)

…they both just simply befuddle me.

(I’m even using words like “befuddle”. Go ahead and save me a bed in the nursing home now.)

I’ve had the privilege of seeing them both recently on SNL and American Idol, and I Just. Don’t. Understand.

(See? Geezer here.)

I don’t understand how wearing thick, heavy, metal rings of Saturn while you are performing improves the quality of your music.


Especially when you plan on playing the piano halfway through the song, and have to awkwardly stop the song for a five second break in order to arrange your rings in such a way that you are able to SIT.


I also don’t understand how breaking open a bajillion glow bracelets and painting yourself up with them enhances the focus on your songwriting abilities.

…and painting your whole band…


…and wearing feathers.


Speaking of Feathers, I don’t understand what an Indian Headdress has to do with a song called “Blah Blah Blah”.KeshaIndian

Forgive me, Ke$ha. I’m sure that your analogy and connectivity abilities are much deeper than mine.KeshaIndianFull

But while you’re at it, can you explain what back-up dancers with old-style (but fascinatingly functioning) TVs on their heads have to do with Indian Headdresses and a song called “Blah Blah Blah”?

Because I’m a geezer. And I just don’t understand.

And, I’m certainly no fashion expert, but I’m pretty sure that the guy in the penguin suit behind you looks more flattering than you in your Zebra suit. The lines – they just aren’t meant to be in spandex.Kesha

But of the two of these inexplicable characters, I’d say Lady Gaga has a bit more “interest” to my ancient self.

For instance, I think the Mrs. Dread Pirate Roberts look is pretty awesome.

LadyGaga Glasses

And if I could make Ali’s hair into a hair hair bow, I’d totally do it.LadyGaga Hair Bow

But I still don’t get it. And therefore, I’m shall accept my status as Geriatric Granny with grace.

And anyway, I always thought dentures would be a lot better than my rotten teeth.

27 thoughts on “Just Call Me Granny.

  1. I know…aren't they the wierdest?!?! Have you heard the "I'm a gummy bear" song on youtube? Same concept…I JUST. DON'T. GET. IT!!! Guess I'll be right down the hall from you at the old peoples home!

  2. If you're a granny then I'm a great granny.I've never heard any of Lady Gaga's songs all the way through.Never seen her perform.And Ke$ha who's that?This is my first time hearing of her.

  3. I am so with you on this. There's not too much "lady"-like with Ms. Gaga, either. And I totally agree with the $ thing–if you don't have really letters in your name, I won't listen to your music. That is all.

    Well, maybe I'll make an exception for Prince…but only his older music. You know, the music from when you were BORN. Sheesh.

    When you learn to do the hair hair bow, will you teach me? I have a lot of hair. I bet that would be adorable. Maybe I could get a hair shirt to go with it. Ick.

  4. If you are a granny, then I'm a great-grandma. When Mark and I are watching TV at night he will say, "Who is that?" And I will have no idea. But you know, I'm glad I have no idea. I don't think I am missing anything.

  5. You know? I haven't listened to secular music in a looooong time (except for the occasional ballad by some country diva about "surviving" or something). It looks like I now have several more reasons to add to my list of "why I don't listen to secular music"…I mean those pictures are just beyond words. What is this world coming to when we have to have someone dress in barbed wire, spandex and chicken feathers to keep our attention?
    Wow. Thanks for sharing. LOL.

  6. I couldn't agree with you more!!

    HOWEVER, did you SEE my Halloween costume pics on facebook? I was more Lady Gaga than Lady Gaga.

  7. Well, I am much older than you and therefore didn't even know who Ke$sha was. I passed into being ancient the first time a radio station had a retro weekend and it was the music (80s) I grew up with. & though I do like some current stuff, most of what I like is the oldies. Sigh.

    Additionally, I found out today that I am headed toward having to wear bifocals. Double sigh.

  8. I had a "makeover" b'day party in 6th grade and totally got the hairbow hairdo. All my hair was in the shape of a big bow on the back of my head. It was totally awesome. Like a bun with flair.

    I'm with you on the music thing. It's baffling.

  9. Thanks for stopping by today – I havn't had alot of time – as I've been working on that bow all afternoon. :)

  10. I'm a little dumber just having looked at those pictures…

    #1 It's not about music, it's about "entertaining the mindless masses".
    #2 If we are grandmaws because we won't waste brain capacity on that idiocy, then it's a title I gladly accept!

  11. Wow. Well I've got you beat on the Granny staus b/c I have never even heard of Kesha or whatever it is.

    The Saturn rings made me laugh. I have heard of Lady Gaga but haven't ever heard any of her music. I think it that if that is how the music business is going we should all sign up for assisted living now and leave the music to the teenagers. :)

  12. That makes two of us! (or more, now that i've read all the other comments!) And I'm not even married or have children or anything… Not sure if that's worse or not. Anyway, somebody tweeted about your mommy jeans post and now I'm hooked. You've just won another reader. ;) (I tweeted about this post, btw ~ http://twitter.com/ruthymeg)

  13. I'll take the rocking chair next to your's, dearie. Let's start wearing loud floral mu-mus and getting our hair "set."

  14. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I'll admit I like a couple of both of their songs (they're just so darn catchy!) but the clothing choices? I'll NEVER understand it.

  15. I'm going to disagree with all of your commenters and say that I love me some Lady Gaga (I really couldn't care less about Ke$ha).
    …and there is a youtube video on how to make a a hairbow out of your hair. You could totally do it for Ali!

  16. I put Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert in the same boat. I loathe them both.

    And $ signs in your name makes someone seem like a cheap stripper.

  17. these two are in their own little world. i must be really old because i remember the day MaDonna and Cyndi Lauper came on the seen and i thought that was strange.

  18. I don't get it either! I think Lady Gaga is just plain weird. I've never heard of Ke$ha, but she looks pretty strange herself.
    I don't think you're old at all, you're just normal!

  19. I'm with ya. Let's get together and party old-people style. I'll bring the prune juice, you scope our the early-bird specials.

  20. While everyone's at it they can call me granny too. I didn't really know who Ke$ha was {apparently pronounced kay-sha per hubby} until recently and just today realized she was white. lol

    Lady Gaga~no words.

  21. I am going to get boo'd for this I am sure…but I like some of Lady Gaga's songs. I listen to them when I workout and pretend that I am the me I was pre husb & child, and I could shake my grove thing at the club until 3am.
    I do think she is a bit of an oddball…her performances are always over the top dramatic.
    I saw her for the first time on AI when she had a zipper over her left eye and was wearing a bubble costume. WEIRD!
    I also caught the Ka$ha performance on SNL…I just dont get it. SNL has started having groups I have never heard of play and that takes the enjoyment out of it for me. Thank goodness for TIVO ! :)

  22. How absurd….and I thought the Blue Man Group was the weirdest thing going….Saturn Lady and Neon Girl has them beat.

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